Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?
by BloodsuckingLeech
Summary: Bella,Alice & Rosalie are violent, moody, bad girl best friends in a punk band called "Royally Screwed." Edward,Jasper & Emmett are the new bad boys in school. When they meet, Forks High becomes their battle ground. AU-some human, some not. R&R !
1. Chapter 1: Smells Like Teen Spirit

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**DISCLAIMER: Characters not mine...story mine. Thanks Stephenie-love and lemondrops to you!**

**Bella, Alice and Rosalie are violent, moody, best friends in a punk band called 'Royally Screwed". Edward, Jasper and Emmett are the new bad boys at school. When they meet-sparks fly! Some human, some not. Enjoy!**

**Chapter One: Smells Like Teen Spirit**

"UGH!" I screamed into my pillow as the alarm went off officially ending summer vacation. 7:15 a-frikken-m. Who's idea was it that school has to start so early?? I brought the covers over my head and went back to sleep.

Five minutes later, Renee opened my door and chirped, "Wake up wake up! First day of school!" Happiest day of the year for mothers all across Forks, I'm sure. Good for Renee particularly, she wouldn't have her weirdo daughter and her odd friends hanging around all day in the garage practicing their even weirder songs.

But then, Renee used to be a groupie for Led Zeppelin when she was a teenager in San Francisco, so she should understand that music is _everything_ to me. More than boys, more than school, more than anything. I think she thinks the three of us are lesbians; we never date and Alice, Rosalie and I have been inseparable since first grade.

Speaking of, just then, Alice's 1978 MGB pulled up out front, waking the neighborhood with it's Tiger muffler. I flew to the window to wave at my girls. _Shit_! She picked up Rose first that means I get to sit in the jump seat, which isn't really a seat at all, more like a shelf. Thank the stars, no rain, yet, so the rag top was down.

"Come on Bitch!" Alice laughed as she called up to me. Rose had her nose in a magazine, a black scarf tied around her hair and wrapped around her neck and dark sunglasses, not that it was anything like sunny out, but we were cool that way. Always dressed in ripped black whatever, with a touch of color here and there depending on the mood.

"Be right down Skag!" I called back. Gotta love my friends.

I flew to the bathroom, brushed and washed quickly, ran a quick comb through my hair and stripped. Opening my closet I picked out a shirt, a skirt and a pair of boots without looking...they were all black, didn't matter, and threw them on quickly. Quick black eyeliner, mascara, blood red lipstick and silver earrings. Grabbing my purse, I said a quick bye to Renee who was in the kitchen making a banana Metamucil smoothie breakfast for my dad, Police Chief Swan, who bid me good bye without looking up from his newspaper.

Junior year was going to be _our _year I could feel it. Any day now we would get a regular gig in Seattle or Portland and we would blow this one horse town. Right now, our band, Royally Screwed, was gaining an audience amoungst the other misfits at Forks High so we got gigs at birthday parties and keggers, things like that. We did the usual covers-Tool, Seether, Papa Roach, Chevelle, Evanessence, Linkin Park, The Vines, but also did our own stuff, too. I was the dark poet of the group, Alice wrote the music. I played lead, Alice drums and beautiful Rosalie, with her long blond hair and big, natural boobs was our frontman and bass player.

Upon arrival, we linked arm in arm and strode up the campus like we owned the place. The usual suspects were all there, nerdy Mike Newton, still in lust with me while he's humping Jessica what's-her-name (get a clue bozo!), Eric Yorkie whose complexion has not cleared up yet (try masturbating, it's good for the skin!) and Tyler Crowley, the jock, who, although he is kinda cute, is a total space head. Lauren Mallory can keep him. She puts out, so he's happy.

We, on the other hand, have made a solemn vow to keep our virginity until we get our first permanent gig. Not that anyone was knocking at our panties to be let in. We were odd, compared to the boring bunch of Beaver Cleavers that went to this school. We didn't mix in with the other girls or the boys for that matter. We sat by ourselves, we wore black, we talked about music, always music and the environment and social issues. We hated sports and girly parties and the boys in this town. Give me James Dean from 'Rebel Without a Cause' that's what I say!

One local we did let into our group was Angela Weber. She was quiet, very cool and helped us get gigs. She was kinda like our manager. Her father owned Fork's only sit-down restaurant, The Forks Pizzaria, which means he pretty much knew everyone. So when someone was having an event, he was the first to know and he would tell Angela and that's how we got our gigs.

So we went our separate ways to first hour. Nothing new, nothing exciting. We said good-bye until lunch time came and then we would meet at our usual table, last one in the furthest back corner, as far away from everyone else as possible. After a way too boring 4th hours, I strolled into the cafeteria, and looked for my girls at our table. I saw Rose and Alice, standing off to the side, talking animatedly. I walked over and joined them.

"What's up sluts?" I gave a normal greeting.

"You tell me!" Rose said angrily gesturing to our table.

Three guys I had never seen before were sitting there. At _our _table. Three guys with their backs to us all sitting on the same side. The whole stupid school knows it's our table and they wouldn't dare sit at it or they were sure to get an ass beating by one or all of us. We took no shit from anyone.

"Oh...no...Are you kidding me !?!." I was pissed, "Come on, let's get these losers out of here."

The three of us took a group deep breath and made a bee line for the table.

"HEY!" I growled at their backs, "I think you have made a mistake!"

All three at once turned to face us. The one on the end, tall, lean, with long bronze hair all wild, stood up and looked down into my eyes. A wicked smile broke out onto his face. I don't think I have ever seen anyone so beautiful before in all my life. He had the face of an angel and the body of a god. I was trapped, transfixed by his gold eyes.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying about a mistake?" His voice was soft, full and smooth like velvet.

"I..I.." I shook my head to clear it and found my voice," You're sitting at our table."

"Oh really? And is your name carved on it somewhere? I don't see it." He mocked me.

I hiked my skirt up, placing my foot on his chair. Retrieving my Bowie knife out of the top of my thigh high boot, I proceeded to angrily carve 'Bella,' 'Rose,' and 'Alice' onto the wooden surface.

"_NOW_ you see it Ass hole?" Alice and Rose were cracking up behind me. The other two boys were stunned for a moment and then joined in the laughter. This bronze god and I stared at each other, arms folded, eyes narrowed.

"What's all this then??" Crap. Edward grabbed the knife and slid it stealthily into the inside pocket of his jacket before Mr. Banner could see it.

"Miss Swan, any trouble here?"

"No, Mr. Banner, everything is fine."

"You." Turning to the bronze haired god," You're the Cullen boys aren't you..the new kids, Dr. Cullen's kids. I advise you to keep out of trouble here. I've seen your records, all of you have been transferred out of different schools for mischief. We'll have none of that here. And be careful who you associate with," he said glaring at the three of us, "this is a new school and a new start for you. See you next hour, _Edward, Miss Swan._"

As Mr. Banner was walking away, the large dark haired one made a loud fart noise, causing the whole cafeteria, which had grown quiet, to busrt into laughter.

"I'll take my knife back now." I held out my hand, glaring menacingly up into his dark angelic face.

"No, I think I'll keep it. You seem to have a penchant for destroying public property, uh..Miss Swan, was it?" He smirked. I wanted to mash his face under my boot.

"Listen, pretty boy," I growled as I produced a switchblade from my other boot and held it to his throat," we can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way. Which is it?"

He smiled and held his hands up in surrender. The other boys were quite amused. The blond one chuckled "Come on, pretty boy."

I reached into his jacket, inadvertantly grazing his hard pecs with my hand. His smile widened and I thought I heard him gently growl. I grabbed the Bowie, and slipped it back into it's home in my boot.

I stood on my toes and put my face in his face, an inch from his nose.

"Don't fuck with me Cullen, I would hate to see something happen to your pretty face." I warned and I meant it.

He raised an eyebrow and gazed into my brown eyes. I felt paralyzed, sinking deeper into his golden eyes, floating away. He leaned in, just a whisper of space between our lips.

"I'll try to remember that," His breath blew into my face and I felt dizzy. The bell rang. I took a shaky step backwards, spun around and joined my girls.

**A/N: There you go-Chapter One! Review if you like or just say hi! **


	2. Chapter 2: She Blinded Me With Science

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys ?**

**CHAPTER 2: She Blinded Me With Science**

Since Cullen aggravated the shit out of me, I ended up not only not eating lunch but going to 5th period Biology early. Great. The classroom started to fill up and I was bored, so I took out my notebook and started drawing a picture of a stick figure with wild hair getting eaten by a T Rex. I brought out my red sharpie and drooled blood shooting out of his half eaten face and a bubble above him said, "Mommy Mommy help me!"

"Hahaha!" I laughed evilly, "Take that Cullen!"

"You've got some real anger issues don't you, Miss Swan?" A velvet voice was right in my ear. I was so focused on my drawing I didn't hear Cullen sit down next to me at the black topped biology table I sat at.

He was too close for comfort. I reached under my skirt to retrieve my switchblade. He suddenly reached in front of me, his arm across my breasts and grabbed my wrist.

"Unless you are reaching in to take your panties off to give to me, I suggest you take your hand out of your skirt." I opened my mouth to speak. He leaned in, his lips were just an inch away from mine and I froze.

Mr. Banner walked into the room right then with books and papers. Cullen sat up and moved as far as way from me as he could possibly manage and still be at the same table with me.

The class was boring except for the fact that Cullen kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye when he thought I wasn't looking. And of course, I was looking at him out of the corner of my eye, too. Stupid pretty boy.

At the end of this long, awful day, I met my girls at Alice's car, it started to drizzle, so the top was up and Rose was already in the front seat, so I got to sit in the jump seat again, all bent over. Lovely. This day was a nightmare. I was squished in the back looking out the plastic back window and of course, Cullen walks behind the car laughing at me and pointing to his brothers who are also now laughing. As Alice put it into gear and started to pull away, I unzipped the back window.

"I HATE YOU EDWARD CULLEN !!" I yelled at him as we sped away, but not before I tagged his head with a beer can. "HA! TAKE THAT PRETTY BOY!!"

Alice and Rosalie just looked at each other. The rest of the ride was silent.

We got to my house quick enough, but not before my legs fell asleep. Dammit. They were all pins and needles. I hate when that happens. We opened up the garage, grabbed our instruments and plugged in. For about 10 minutes I took out my frustrations on my guitar, wailing and hitting the strings until my head was filled with images of Jimmy Page, Slash and Eddie Van Halen. And NOT a certain bronze haired god. Eyes on the prize, Bella, eyes on the prize I repeated like a mantra.

Practice went well. Rosalie's voice was just perfect as she screamed Chevelle's "I Get it." For Alice being about 100 pounds soaking wet, she had arms of iron and could spank those bad boys like John Bonham himself. We were good. We were ready.

"All we need is _the _gig. The one to get us out of here." I popped open one of Charlie's beers and swallowed it down.

"To the gig!" Alice held out her glass and clinked it with my can. She preferred Renee's vodka.

"To the gig!" Rosalie was a stoner. She lifted her joint and choked out the toast trying to hold in the smoke. She ended up choking, eyes and nose watering down her face, make up running, throat convulsing.

"That's _it_!" she stated hoarsely,"No more weed, this is killing me!" She looked in the mirror of Alice's car and was horrified what she saw. "Not only is this not attractive", she whined, "but I'm eating donuts 2-3 at a time and I'm getting fat."

Alice and I toasted to that and got the area cleaned up. Charlie was on his way home and I thought I'd give Chief Swan a break by not causing him to have a heart attack tonite. I had been in lots of trouble lately. Fighting, breaking and entering, grand theft auto, trespassing in the library after hours and hacking the computers, a little graffiti art ..nothing big, but I guess the Police Chief's daughter should know better?

I took the keys so Alice and Rosalie had to walk home and I went into the house to see what was for dinner. Alice wasn't drunk per se, but I wasn't going to take a chance with my two best friends. There was a note from Renee on the kitchen table saying it was date night and left some money to order pizzas for me. Cool. I dialed Forks Pizzeria. Angela answered.

"Hey Ang, this is Bella."

"Hey, Bella, glad you called...Mike Newton's parents are going away for the weekend and his older brother is having a party at his house."

Oh joy. Mike's brother Garrett was in college in Seattle and a bigger loser than his brother is. At least he got out of this town. Maybe he could get us _the gig. _Who knows?

"Now Bella, hang on a second, think about it..." She could feel the groan about to come out of my throat, "He wants Royally Screwed to play, he's invited the whole town and his frat boys and you get 20 of the door. He's charging 10 bucks a head for beer and sandwiches. What do you think?"

"Geez I don't know...Dickless Mike??...shit...how long do we have to play?"

"Well, the party starts at 9 Saturday night, so 9 til 1 I'm thinking..no more than that."

"Ok, I'll talk it over with the girls, thanks Ang...hey, can you send over the usual? It's date night for the senior citizens again."

"Oh sure. We've got a new driver, but he seems to know his way around. It'll be there in about 30. Let me know about Saturday, I think it's a good deal. And who knows, maybe Garrett can spread the word at the campus about you guys."

"Ok, thanks Ang...talk to you later." Thirty minutes, I had just enough time to take a quick shower and get into my pj's before this new dickhead driver gets here. Then, it's pizza and movie. I just rented Sense and Sensibility again. I love that movie.

Squeaky clean and scrubbed, I slipped into my comfy blue duckie flannel pj bottoms and a tank top. I stuck the dvd in, grabbed a quilt and got settled on the couch. I checked the clock, bozo should be here any minute with my pizza. Ten minutes went by. Fifteen. Finally I heard a car pull up.

"Bastard made me wait.." I mumbled to myself. I got up off the couch, pissed to all hell. I hate to wait.

I jerked the door open "YOU'RE LATE DICKHEAD!" I yelled into the unsuspecting guys face. "What are _you_ doing here?" It was Cullen. My sworn enemy. Holding my pizza with a surprised yet amused look on his face. He had the Pizzeria's uniform on. Ass hugging, tight black trousers, black polo shirt with logo and black ball cap, pulled down over his eyes, his wild hair all sticking out the back. His arms were all tightly muscled, but not too much, just enough to make me squirm a bit. Damn he was unbelievably sexy. Wait, did I just think that?

"Sorry, we got backed up. You're my last stop. That'll be twelve seventy-five."

"Huh? Ya, hang on." I walked into the kitchen and got the fifteen bucks Renee left me. I turned around to head back and ran smack dab into Cullen's chest. He had followed me in.

"Oh!" I exclaimed as I bounced off him. I was thrown off balance and was heading for the floor when he reached out and grabbed me to his body.

"Careful now," he said as he held me to him. His left hand steadied me and his right hand came up from my waist and gently brushed the my hair out of my face. His hand lingered on my cheek. I was held captive in his eyes for what seemed minutes. Time stopped. My whole face went hot. Then I snapped out of it.

I brought my knee up within an inch of his crotch and growled out between clenched teeth, "Let go of me or you'll be picking your nuts up off of the floor."

He laughed but released me, turned and headed for the door. I looked down at my now empty fist. When did he grab the money out of my hand?

"Thanks for the tip!" He called over his shoulder and shut the door behind him.

**A/N: OMC! Thanks to all of you that reviewed/added this story! You are the best! I am really having fun writing this! Next chapter we find out why Edward has a reputation as a bad boy! I've always had a thing for bad boys-they are forbidden fruit! Take care, until next time...Love and lemondrops...BSL**


	3. Chapter 3 : Vitamin R

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Three: Vitamin R**

The next day I was pulled into the Principal's office during 4th period. Some dickwad snitched saying I had a knife in my boots. So they made me take off my boots in front of the school nurse and they confiscated my switchblade and my Bowie. I told them I like to go into the woods after school, so I needed protection from mountain lions. They didn't buy it, but agreed not to expel me if I promised never to bring a weapon into school again. I agreed. After all, they said nothing about any weapons I may already have in school. My locker was an arsenal.

Cullen. I seethed. it had to have been him. He's the only one in this pussy school who would have the balls to do this. To top it off, I was late for lunch, so I headed for the cafeteria. My cell buzzed, I got a text from Alice. "911-cafe."

SHIT! I broke out into a sprint and burst into the cafeteria. The whole school was in a huddle around our table. I reached in and grabbed my short foldable knife out of my bra and flung it open, ready.

I broke through the crowd. Alice was standing next to the new blond guy laughing her head off. There on the table was little Miss Rosalie Hale, standing up on the big new kid's chest, her red stiletto peep toe clad right foot perched on his throat. He looked paralyzed. She bent down, her long, wavy blond hair falling in his face. She screamed in his face-

"SAY YOU'RE SORRY FOR GRABBING MY ASS OR BELIEVE ME, YOU WILL BE!" and she ground her left heel into his chest. Geesh, she did it so hard, the heel broke off. Rose was livid now. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY FAVORITE SHOES YOU BASTARD!"

He looked all right. From her feet, up her long slender legs, up her skirt. That was it. She pulled her right foot off his throat and kicked him in the face.

"OOOWWW! SHIIIIIIT!" She howled in pain and began to fall off. The big guy sat up and grabbed her before she hit the floor. Rose was hopping around, obviously in great pain. "YOU BROKE MY FOOT! YOUR STUPID FACE BROKE MY FOOT!" and then a stream of profanities that would make a sailor blush.

He said nothing, but picked her up bridal style, "Let's get you to the nurse," he chuckled, looking into her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he carried her off out of the cafeteria.

I was shocked. She just let him take her. I looked at the table. Her favorite red stiletto peep toes that she went all the way to Portland to buy were in shreds. I reached over to examine them more closely, but Cullen grabbed them and threw them into the garbage so fast, his hand was just a blur.

"She'll be ok," he said in a soothing tone, touching my arm. "Emmett will take her to Forks General. My Dad works there. He'll take good care of her, don't worry, ok?"

"Fuck you, Cullen, you and your brothers have been nothing but a pain in my ass since you got here," turning to the left, "Come on, Alice, let's split."

She was busy talking to Cullen's blond haired brother. Was she twirling her hair and smiling? She was _flirting _with him_! Has everyone lost their minds??_

"I'll tell you what," Cullen suggested," what say you and I ditch the rest of the day? I'm sure we could find _something _to do." He said seductively, touching my hair.

"You don't know how close you are to becoming a eunich, Cullen," I stated plainly.

"And why would you want to deprive yourself of such pleasure?" He smiled a sexy little crooked smile and I swear, my heart stopped and then took off in a gallop.

"UGH!" You're impossible!" I shook my head at an attempt to clear it, "I'm going to class." and with that I turned away and started heading out.

"Ok..but I advise you this may be a good day to ditch," he called after me.

I flipped him the finger over my head and continued off to class. Curiosity got the best of me and I looked behind me. Sure enough, he was watching my ass walk away, a very big leer on his face. Bastard!

I got to Biology and sat at my empty table. 'Good I have the whole table all to myself,' I mumbled out loud and put my feet up on his chair. Mr. Banner came in pushing a cart with these funky little boxes on it. I wasn't listening, but he something about the blood drive tomorrow.

"...so today we're going to do blood typing..."

NO! A wave of nausea blanket me. I raised my hand to be excused to the bathroom when...

BLAAAP BLAAAP BLAAAP BLAAP !! The fire alarm screamed. Talk about saved by the bell.

"Alright, alright, Let's move swiftly and silently out the back door like ladies and gentlemen."

Freedom!

As we filed into the parking lot, I caught site of Edward Cullen being berated by the Vice Principal and my Dad. My Dad? I walked over and tapped my Dad on the shoulder.

"Bella, this is official police business, go back in line." He tried to dismiss me. Ha! This was too good!

"You gonna take him in Cha-Dad? Throw him in the slammer, rough him up some? You know, with that pretty face you 'll have _lots _of close friends in the big house!" I teased.

Cullen smirked at me, "Funny girl-you'll be thanking me later."

"I seriously doubt that," I said dryly and walked away.

I was bored waiting around, so I decide a little artful distraction was required. So I took out my black lipstick and wrote "Helter Skelter" on the side of the gym. I stepped back to admire my creation, quite pleased with myself.

"_MISS SWAN!!!" _Crap. Mr. Banner. Doesn't he have anything else to do but make my life miserable?

I reported for Inside Suspension the next morning. I had to come to the library every day all day for a week. I would have to make up any missed assignments on my own time. I got to do nothing but read for 6 hours which didn't seem too bad, but I couldn't see my girls all day, so that was depressing.

There was a special table in the back just for offenders. Two other people were already seated there. One was a freshman I recognized as the boy Rose gave a swirly to on the first day of school. And the other, to my great chagrin, I knew personally.

"Cullen." I said plainly displeased.

"Swan." He spoke back then put his nose back into his book.

I got out my very used copy of Jane Eyre and started reading.

"Hmph!"

"Something wrong Cullen, or are you coughing up a fur ball?"

"Jane Eyre." He scowled.

"Yes? Something wrong with that? What are you reading-'Green Eggs and Ham?'" I snorted, cracking myself up.

He picked his book up and showed me. "Advanced Quantum Physics."

"A little light reading, Cullen? I knew you were a geek."

"No. I'm an egg head. My brother Jasper is a geek. My other brother Emmett is a muscle head."

"Ok...and what would you call me?"

He looked up into my eyes through his incredibly long eyelashes and the sexiest little crooked grin spread across his exquisite face. I looked down, blushing furiously. My heart pounded in my chest. How did he _do_ that ??

I picked up my book in an attempt to read. I re read the same paragraph six times before I realized it. Stupid Cullen.

"Mr. Rochester is reprehensible!"

"What? Are you speaking to me, Cullen?"

"Jane Eyre's Mr. Rochester is a cruel man who takes his misfortune out on a sweet, naïve girl."

"But it's not his doing that gets him into that horrible situation he finds himself in."

"Well, sucks to be him, huh? It happens to everyone doesn't it?" His voice was sharp, getting louder, "Things take place whether we intended for them to occur or not. But we have to deal with it don't we? The best we can. Year after year, decade upon—Well, one can't control things, but one can learn to act decently can't one?"

"Yes, I suppose. But are we talking about Mr. Rochester or you?" I was leaning in across the table as was he. I hadn't realized how close we'd gotten. His cool breath was on my face. He smelled unbelievable. I leaned in further and inhaled deeply, closing my eyes, floating, as his fragrance swirled around my senses, making me dizzy.

"Mr. Rochester, of course," he sounded pissed. He had leaned away, resting on the back of his chair."Asking her to marry him when he had so many secrets he didn't want her to know, yet it was absolutely vital for her very survival to know them." He looked out the window, his voice trailing off.

"You know, Cullen, if you're an emo boy, I have a nice, sharp knife you can slash yourself with. Matter of fact, allow me."

"Ha. Ha." He said and promptly put his book up between us.

This was going to be a long week.

I never asked him why he was suspended. But the rumor was that he was the one to pull the fire alarm that rescued me from blood typing in Bio. Maybe I should thank him like he said that day.

I told myself I didn't care. Getting involved with anyone at this point would be madness. I wanted no ties to forks. I wanted out. Renee might like her life of PTA bake sales and getting quietly smashed after dinner each night, but not me. I wanted a real life. One filled with adventure, travel. I wanted people to hear my music. I wanted to see Rosalie move out of Alice's basement and forget about her asshole parents who abandoned her. Alice's Mom Esme was an Angel. She asked the Hales if she could watch after Rose while they tried to claw their way through rehab after rehab after jail cell, where they now would be for the next 15 years.

Love was not part of the plan. Anything Cullen was definitely taboo.

"Cullen?"

"Swan?"

"Do you have plans for your future?" This question seemed to amuse him greatly.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do."

"Oh."

"What about you?" He asked casually.

"I'm going to travel the world and dance naked in the Louvre and be worshipped by everyone for my music." He smiled but didn't look up from his book.

"Is this before or after you fall in love with me?"

"You arrogant son of a bitch!" I was pissed, but also a bit shocked. Was it that obvious? Did my true feelings show that much? "If we weren't in the library, I'd have your nuts on a platter right now." I said through gritted teeth.

"You have a fascination with my nuts, don't you?"

"WHA-?"

"Well, you keep mentioning them."

"I--I—YOU..."

"Good comeback, Swan."

**A/N: You guys are the best! Thanks for the reviews and the adds. This is so much fun to write! I may not be a good fluff writer and I may not be able to write a romantic lemon to save my life...but I do like my boys bad! The gig is coming up soon-but there's trouble and his name is the vile Mike Newton! R & R !! BSL**


	4. Chapter 4: Bullet With Butterfly Wings

**Why do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Four: Bullet With Butterfly Wings **

For the next week, every waking hour was filled with practice, talking about practice and more practice. The gig at Mike's was coming soon and we wanted to make sure we had everything down. We stopped all drinking and other bad things to our bodies to make sure we were in good shape. Rosalie's foot wasn't broken; she had a couple of sprained toes which, while painful, did not cripple her. That did not stop her from making Emmett her willing slave, however, as she made him carry her to class and generally be at her beck and call. Not that he was complaining. The way they looked at each other, well, it made me blush. I was happy for Rose and Emmett, whom I'd grown to think of as my big brother. His sense of humor was frikken hilarious, his big, bold laughter infectious. Jasper was hanging around Alice a lot too, which made her extraordinarily happy, so who was I to complain? He had a very sarcastic/ironic sense of humor which I enjoyed, was very cool and was actually very handy when it came to tech problems with the equipment. The only problem is, this meant there were Cullens hanging around the garage more often than I'd like.

When he wasn't working, Edward Cullen came around with his brothers. Never alone, which suited me just fine. Damn he was so annoying. He didn't really do anything, or talk to me all that much. He just sat there, watching us practice, goofing with his brothers. I'm not even sure why he even bothered to come over. Well, he did bring us pizzas and stuff. But other than that he annoyed the crap out of me.

We arrived at Mike's house around 8:30pm on Saturday to set up. His parents have a fairly large 5 bedroom ranch style house on a couple of wooded acres. Rumor has it that Mr. & Mrs. Newton own a sex shop in Seattle and host swinger parties in their basement every summer. So, to the good folks of Forks they are Ozzie and Harriet sports shop owners, while in Seattle they're Mr. & Mrs. Marquis de Sade. Hmm. No wonder their kids are fucked up.

Mike greeted us at the door with a very tipsy Jessica hanging on his arm. The middle of the house was one big room. The furniture had been removed earlier to the garage to make plenty of room for dancing. In one corner was a very ornate bar stocked with around 40-50 bottles of different kinds of stuff and a keg and one very cute bartender. I would have to check him out later, I smiled to myself. Fuck Cullen.

We hauled our equipment up from Angela's van and started setting up. The kids began to arrive and by the time we were doing sound checks, the place was crowded. Alice was counting up in her head, "At 20 percent of the door, we should take about 150 bucks tonite, maybe 200 if it gets crowdier. WooHoo!" She beat a happy little linear on her hi hats and snare for emphasis.

"Hell ya!" Rose was excited, "I can get that new Shure mic I've been drooling over."

"I thought we were getting that keyboard," I chimed in, "from Dwayne in the chess club."

"Talk later Rock NOW! ARE YOU READY TO GET ROYALLY SCREWED???" Rose screamed at the crowd.

The crowd let out an ear splitting scream back in response.

Alice screamed and beat out the time on her sticks-

"ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!!" and we blasted into our first set-"Closer to God" by Nine Inch Nails. "Sober" by Tool, "Possum Kingdom" by the Toadies and "Bullet with Butterfly Wings ("the world is a vampire)" by Smashing Pumpkins.

The college kids were all over us and requested some club music to dance to so we lit into "Come Out and Play" by the Offspring and "So Hot" by Kid Rock. The crowd went wild when Rose purred "I want to fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again." Then followed it with "Paralyzed" by Finger 11. The crowd, which had grown to well over 200, was a mass of arms and moving bodies. It was the greatest high.

When Rose belted out "if your body matches what your eyes can do..." from Paralyzed, I noticed she was singing to a guy in the front. It was a Cullen. It was Emmett Cullen. Damn. I started scanning the crowed. Is _he_ here? My heart started pounding painfully in my chest. I couldn't breathe. I dropped my head and let my hair be a curtain between me and the audience.

I like playing that way anyways. Just me and my guitar.

Rose turned and gave Alice and me the two finger "break" signal. We nodded and at the end of the song, we announced a short break.

I grabbed one of my soft cloths and wiped down my guitar before placing it onto the stand and headed for the bar. Alice was there talking to the blond Cullen brother-no _flirting_ with him- giving him her best smile and coy eyes and he was gladly eating it up. Rose and Emmett were doing shots at the other end and laughing all over each other. The guy behind the bar drew me a frosted glass of beer and set it in front of me.

I was NOT looking for Edward Cullen as I wound my way through the crowd. I needed some fresh air. My cell buzzed with a text message from Rose:

"He's working tonite :( sorry."

"Who?" ...Me.

"Edward, you slut !!" ...Rose.

"Who?"... ...Me.

"Bitch!" ...Rose.

I then got a text from Alice:

"He's working..sorry..you can 2x me n Jasper. LOL"

Oh brother.

"Have fun DSL" (Dork Sucking Lips)... Me.

"Bitch." ...Alice.

Fine. I continued out the front door. Uh oh. Mike Newton at 2 o'clock. Must escape. Now.

"Bella!" Too late. Maybe he wanted to pay us.

"Good crowd tonite, ay ?"

"Ya, you guys are a-MAY-zing, babe." Ugh. Major vomitus ugh.

He trailed his sweaty hand up my arm. I burped a little beer into my mouth.

"So," I said trying to keep anything from spewing,"How much did we take in?" I took a step back.

"Well, that's the thing, isn't it?" Uh oh. This did not sound good.

"Ya see, Tyler was at the door..."

"Yes?" I could feel my anger rising. He took a step towards me and ran a pudgy finger under my bikini bra strap.

"He got distracted by some pussy and well, he didn't collect anything. Soooo...I thought maybe you and meeee...Well, I could pay you back some other way...upstairs."

"Oh...hm..." I grabbed his hand and led him outside to the very secluded bushes out on the nicely manicured front lawn. When we were alone, I put a seductive smile on my face, "So, you thought you'd fuck me instead of paying me?" I giggled.

Encouraged, he took three strides towards me and said hello to my pointy boot tip in the nuts.

"IS THAT ANSWER ENOUGH FOR YOU ??????"

He was rolling around on the ground writhing in pain, holding his jewels. He squeaked out a weak, "I thought you wanted me...?"

"LOSER—ASSHOLE--MORON !!" I screamed at him as loud as I could.

"I thought those were your pet names for me, darling."

I spun around. Edward Cullen was leaning against a tree, casually surveying the scene.

"He stiffed us! He deserves to die!"

"Well, let's see now..." He squatted down, looking at Newton, "How you doing Mike?"

"Mommy?" was all he could squeeze out.

Edward rolled him over and plucked the wallet out of Mike's back pocket. It was fat, bursting with 10 dollar bills.

"How much does he owe you?" Edward looked up at me, counting out the contents.

"About 200 bucks."

Edward proceeded to count out the wad of 10's to 200. He stuffed the remainder back in to the Power Rangers wallet and threw it at Mike, who was now whimpering in a fetal position.

Edward, looked menacing, pointed a long, slender finger in Mike's face and said in a calm voice that scared the crap out of me.

"Don't fuck with us Newton-you hear me?"

Mike was sobbing, "Ok, ok, I get it."

But I was frozen. Edward said 'us.' 'Don't fuck with _us' _he said. Why did that make my heart sprout wings and soar?

Edward stood and looked straight at me. He quickly closed the space between us, grabbed me to him and pressed his lips to mine.

They were cold. They were smooth. They were lovely and I felt the heat of passion coursing through my veins.

He broke the kiss, stroked my cheek softly, stuffed the 200 dollar wad in my back pocket, then stood back. He was wearing his work uniform.

"Well, enjoy the rest of your evening. Ciao, Bella." He picked up my hand, kissed it and disappeared into the trees, leaving me quite stunned. Paralyzed.

I heard a commotion behind me. Garrett and a sophomore goth boy were helping Mike up. Looking up at me with a hateful glare, Garrett said, "You're finished. Get out."

I didn't care. I moved, but I couldn't feel my feet. I felt like I was floating. He kissed me.

I made my way to Rose and Alice who were packing up the equipment already.

"Did you see Garrett? We've been fired!" Rose spat out.

Emmett was carrying several pieces of Alice's drum kit out to the van and Jasper was rolling cords and wires and stacking the amps together.

"Yes, Isn't it wonderful?" I kind of breathed out and sat down on the floor.

Alice and Rose looked at each other and then were by my side on the floor looking at me with curious eyes.

"Mm Hm. Yup..."Alice said.

"Ooooh yaaa," Rose nodded in agreement, "Goofy grin, fresh blush, dazed look."

"Yup. Edward?" Alice smiled.

"Edward..." I sighed. "Isn't that a beautiful name?"

Alice and Rose cracked up and gathered me in a group hug. We were all laughing and crying at the same time tears of joy and just...love, friendship.

"Let's get out of here!" I squealed. We packed up the rest of the gear, bid goodbye to our 'roadies' and headed down the road. I drove as I hadn't had but a sip of beer. We got all the gear into the garage and was about to drive them home when I brought out the wad of 10's and showered my two best friends with the bills while they danced.

I recalled the whole story to their amused delight.

Edward Cullen and me. Who knew?

**A/N: Hi everybody ! Thank you so frikken much for the reviews-I'm doing a happy dance as we speak! I love all of you lovely lovely Twilighters. I've got some surprises in store next chapter! R & R please! **

**Love and lemondrops, BSL**


	5. Chapter 5: Not While I'm Around

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Five: Not While I'm Around**

After the Mike fiasco, we didn't get a gig for a long time. I ended up taking a part-time job weekends at the 7-11 to pay for guitar strings and Charlie's beer, which mysteriously keeps disappearing. Alice and Rose got jobs working at Fork's Pizzeria waitressing on weekends. With their looks and personality, they were really cleaning up on tips. I was never the 'whistle while you work' sort, so waitressing was not for me.

And after the night of the kiss, Edward seemed to avoid me completely, even when he was sitting right next to me in Bio. Of course, this suited me just fine. Cullen and his lips were a complication that I just didn't need in my life right now. But, he did kiss me uninvited, thus, a little mischief was in order. So, while everyone was at lunch, I did a little breaking and entering on his shiny Volvo and hung a stinky fish head from his rear view mirror. Perfect!

When last period ended, I flew to the parking lot to watch the look of horror that was sure to spread over his pretty boy face when he opened the door and got a whiff. I crouched next to a car just waiting for the yelling and screaming. There he is. Here it comes. What? I heard a scream from Rosalie and Alice! I popped up out of my hiding spot and flew to the MGB. They were standing next to the car thoroughly pissed off holding their noses. There was the fish head hanging from the rear view mirror. The smell coming out of the car was beyond gross. Just then, the shiny Volvo slowly drove by with a very much amused Edward Cullen pointing and laughing at us. I HATE HIM -I HATE HIM -I HATE HIM _AND_ HIS LIPS!

Life was slow. As winter approached, the days grew shorter, the weather bleaker. To top it off, the night cashier quit so, being the newest hired, I got stuck with the graveyard shift on Friday and Saturday nights. Not that I had any kind of social life anyways, but this just seemed to magnify my growing restlessness.

Friday night around 2 am, it started snowing lightly and the wind picked up so the flakes were streaming sideways across the parking lot. The bells on the doors chimed and I looked up from my notebook. A squirrelly little guy came in and went down to the back towards the magazines. About 10 minutes later the bells sounded again.

"Swan.." It was Edward. It was a nice surprise to see him, but I wasn't about to let him know that.

"Cullen. It's a cold night to be out. Run out of hemorrhoid cream did ya?"

"No, condoms."

Bastard. Manwhore. He's screwing some Forks slut! I was furious. I was hurt. I don't know what I was feeling, but I wanted to run out and find a place to cry. Stupid tears started to sting my eyes. He was studying me with a suddenly alarmed look on his face. I can't imagine what emotions were playing out on mine.

"Actually, my Dad is working late at the hospital and wanted the early edition newspaper."

I took a deep breath. "Oh? Couldn't get a date, huh?" Why couldn't I just shut up?? "Well, there's the paper over there. Now if you don't mind I'm busy." I turned my back to him and grabbed my notebook that was on the counter behind me.

He looked around at the empty store, "Ya, I can see that."

"Why are you so annoying??"

"Oh? Am I annoying you?" He smirked, "Good."

I picked up my pencil and focused on the song I was writing. He was in front of me and grabbed the pad out of my hand so fast it startled me.

"Hey!" I barked.

"What's this?"

I tried to grab it back but he kept it out of my reach just enough for me look like a little kid being teased in a game of keep away.

"Through the Glass..." He read. I was mortified. He was reading my song out loud.

Well, that's when I reached behind my back and pulled my little Firecracker out of my panties. It's a small, one shot handgun Charlie had given me for protection. I held it to Edward's throat. He sighed.

"Do you really think this is an offense that deserves the death penalty?"

"You do, obviously. Now hand it over. It's private."

He smiled, set the notebook down and raised his hands in surrender. I put the gun under the counter on the shelf.

"It's beautiful, by the way," He said, throwing a dollar on the counter for the newspaper.

"What is?"

"The song. It's beautiful. Do you have the music for it?" I shook my head no. He turned and walked out the door into the storm.

"Freak." I shook my head.

The squirrelly guy came up to the counter with a bag of Cheetohs and a six pack of Corona. I'd forgotten about him being there. Stupid Cullen.

I started ringing up the Cheetohs and the beer.

"10.50," I said and started to put them in a bag.

"Give me the cash bitch," he mumbled.

"What?"

"I said: GIVE ME THE CASH BITCH, " he was yelling at me now.

"Oooh. You fucking asshole! You picked the wroooong store!" I reached under the counter for the Firecracker and grabbed it. But he was fast-he punched me in the face-my blood shot out and splattered all over the place, knocking me on the floor. He grabbed the gun out of my hand and fired point blank at my chest.

In slow motion, I waited for the impact of the shell to hit my flesh. But out of nowhere, Edward was directly in front of me between me and the bullet. He let out a blood curdling growl, leapt across the counters, landed on top of the guy and started beating him to a bloody pulp.

Something shiny on the floor caught my eye. The spent bullet, flattened from impact. But impact on what?? I put it in my pocket.

Edward turned to me. "Bella!" he cried out. I was stunned. I started shaking uncontrollably. He started feeling me, checking for broken bones. I just stared at him.

"No broken bones, thank goodness." He grabbed the paper towels from under the counter and started to dab the blood from my face. He was holding his breath.

"Ow!" My nose was broken, I'll just bet. Fabulous.

"I'm sorry, does it hurt anywhere else?" He looked in my eyes, pain written on his face.

"How?...You were...gone...You left...where did you..how did you?" He had left, I saw him drive off. How did he get here so fast?

Ignoring me he said, "We should call someone."

"My Dad," I managed to say. He handed me the store phone. I woke up my Dad who immediately went into hysterics. He said he'd call the station and the ambulance and to just sit and wait til he got there.

"Listen, I can't be found here. I've been in trouble with the law before. I don't think the Chief of Police will appreciate me being here. No doubt your reputation precedes you. You're a tough chick, you could've taken care of him yourself. I just happened to be here."

"But you weren't, Edward, you were gone. And then, you were here and you stood there and took the bullet, but you didn't...you...I don't know." The sirens sounded off in the distance, getting closer. He had the Firecracker in his hand and stuffed it into the inside pocket of his jacket. He kissed the top of my head and disappeared out into the night.

At the hospital, I was worked over by Dr. Cullen, Edward's Dad. Alice and Rose arrived, all freaked out and shit, but when I told them about Edward's role in all of this, they looked at each other with a weird look.

"Um..listen, Bella, there's something ...well..I don't _know..different_... about the Cullen boys." Rose stated, biting her bottom lip.

"Ya. They're freaks."

"It's more than that though, " Alice continued, "We've noticed some..odd stuff about them. I mean, odder than your average freak stuff."

"Like...?" I was waiting for the point of this.

"Well, like, they take us out to dinner, but they never eat." Rose pointed out.

"Freaks."

"If it's a sunny day out, they suddenly have something important to do that they can't do with us and break the date."

"Photo phobic Freaks."

"Emmett changed Alice's tire without a jack."

"Strong Freak."

"Jasper made a crying baby at the movies go to sleep just by looking at her."

"Major Freak."

"And what about Edward? What you told us...was that just a Freak thing, or something more?" Alice asked. She had a point. I turned the smashed bullet over in my hand.

"Yes...What about Edward?" I said, staring off into space. My feelings were so mixed up at this point. Did I love him, did I hate him? Was he just a Freak or did he have some weirdo secret like he could dodge bullets and mysteriously appear out of thin air?

Angela came crashing through the doors just then and started fussing over me until she was assured I was fine.

"A frikken black eye, a cracked nose and some bruises where I hit the floor, that's all, really, Ang."

A nurse came in and packed my nose with gauze and taped it to my face. Lovely. I can join the circus now.

"Hey, I've got some good news. Maybe this will cheer you up," Angela was suddenly cheery, "I've signed Royally Screwed to do the Battle of the Bands at the auditorium in February. That's 9 weeks from now, hopefully that should give you plenty of time to recover and come up with some new songs."

"New songs?" We said together.

"Ya, the rules are no covers-only original songs. Well, you get a three song set."

"Wow." Was our group response.

"Who else is playing?" Alice asked.

"'LeStat' from Hoquiam, 'Van Helsing,' from Bellingham, 'Push Comes to Shove' from Seattle and...um...'The Pack' from La Push." She said the last band rather fast.

"The Pack?? SHIT!" I groaned. I was a bit surprised. They had a really bad rep as hot-tempered troublemakers to put it nicely. More like violent sons-of-bitches that like to tear shit up.

Not only that, I had known the front man, Jake Black from when we were kids. Our Dads used to fish together all the time back in the day. He was always trying to get into my pants. Even as babies, he'd chase me and pull off my Huggies. I hadn't seen him in years. I heard through the grapevine he was sent to Juvie when he was 16 for being on the scene when some dudes killed a Frenchman on his tribe's, the Quilleutes, land. His best friends, Quil and Embry were there too, so they all went up together. I hadn't heard they were out. It's been 2 years.

"Here's the flyer," Angela handed us a couple of neon blue papers, "Hey Alice, did you see your Mom out there?" Angela was giggling.

"No, why?"

"Esme and Dr. Cullen are...well...I saw them making out."

"WHAT ????" The three of us screamed at once.

"Ya, I walked into the doctor's lounge to look for a soda machine and there they were all wrapped around each other in a hot lip lock."

Alice buried her head in her hands moaning, "Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack!" Angela chirped.

"What the FUCK is it with these Cullen men????" I asked, totally incredulous.

Yes, what is up with these Cullen men? If I had to personally make Edward's life a living hell, I would find out.

**A/N: Oh those naughty Cullen men! And you know the thing about secrets? The harder you try to keep one, the faster it gets spilled. And look who's name popped up? Ha! Is there going to be another rooster in the hen house? Once again, I am blown away by your reviews and adds! You guys are wicked awesome!! They encourage me to update faster! Love and Lemondrops! BSL**


	6. Chap 6:What Is And What Should Never Be

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Six: What is and What Should Never Be**

**A/N: There is a song writing scene later in this chapter. The song being sung is "Through Glass" by Stone Sour. The melody is haunting and I can just picture the person singing it. Listen to it if you can to get the feel of the scene. :-)**

My face looked worse than it felt, so I managed to parlay that into a week off from school. Renee, who was drunk and passed out that night felt so guilty she wasn't at the hospital with me, she basically let me do what I wanted. And she let me use her Prius for the entire week! I was free and I had wheels. Life was good.

I put my sweet free time to good use stalking Edward. What a boring life! He went from school to work to home. That's it. Until Friday. After school, he headed alone up the 101 where there's nothing but trees. I tailed him a few cars back. I followed him until he turned off down a dirt road. I parked my car on the shoulder and took off on foot. His car was parked off to the side of the road next to a small overgrown trail. Good thing I was wearing my combat boots today, looks like I'm going for a hike. He shouldn't be hard to find, I chuckled to myself, he's a tall, goofy, mouth breather.

I got deeper and deeper into the woods until the canopy overhead got so thick it completely obscured the sky. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I decided to trudge on for a bit more and then I'd head out. That's when I heard the sounds.

A growl. No-two distinctly different growls up ahead of me towards the clearing. One was definitely Mountain Lion. The other I'd heard before at work..before Edward thrashed that slime bag. OH NO ! Edward's getting eaten by a Mountain Lion!! I was in full charge mode, knife out, teeth bared, adrenaline pumping and then I burst into the clearing...

I...I saw. I couldn't quite wrap my mind around it. It looked like...NO! I must be hallucinating. Edward was kneeling on the ground with his lips on the lion's throat. No, his _teeth, _bared and bloody, had ripped the flesh of the beast and he was..he was..drinking its blood.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I sighed. Freak.

"Oh my God Cullen!" I shook my head, "you are an even stranger than I thought."

I put my knife away and started back down the path the way I had come. Figures, right? I fall in love with the one man that could be the main attraction at a circus freak show.

UGH. I stomped off towards my car. Edward grabbed my arm, spinning me around.

"Bella, wait."

"What?"

"Did you see---?"

"Did I see you drink a Mountain Lion-ya-I caught that. See ya."

"You're not scared?"

"Fucking Hell, Cullen! No, I'm not scared. I was a tad freaked out maybe at first, but it actually explains a lot."

"Don't you want to know _why_ I was doing that?" He was frowning now, almost angry.

"NO" I said emphatically,"Now let go of my arm. Hey, I think I see a hedgehog up ahead-want dessert?"

"You are incredible." He just shook his head. A hint of smile played on his..gulp..lips.

"Yes I am. Now can I go?"

"Doesn't anything scare you?" He looked deep into my eyes. His were soft, pleading, vulnerable. It stirred something deep within me. I reached up and touched his face. He closed his eyes and sighed, exhaling his sweet breath on my face.

"Edward..." I whispered softly.

"Yes Bella?" He leaned in towards me, his lips just within reach of mine.

"I...I have to go!" I abruptly turned and ran towards the highway. He didn't follow.

I got into the Prius and slammed the locks down. NO NO NO. I am NOT falling for him. The others may be sucked into the Cullen web, but not me. I have plans, dreams for a future and they do not include marriage or kids or a mortgage.

I started the car and headed home. Shit! I was late for practice. I looked at my cell which was buzzing on the seat. Fifteen messages from Rose.

I ran into the house to find Renee extolling the virtues of staying a virgin until marriage to a very embarrassed Alice and Rosalie. Mom was half way through a bottle of Absolut and obviously feeling no pain. Alice's head was on the table, Rose's was buried in her hands.

I slammed the door hard. Rose and Alice jumped up immediately and ran to me.

"OH THANK GOD!"

"We're going to practice, Mom, thanks for keeping the girls entertained."

She lifted her glass and pointed at me with it, "Ya know, Isabella, your virginity is a gift for your husband for him to open up on your honeymoon-don't let those Cullen boys talk you into anything."

"Holy crow, Ma!" I rolled my eyes, "you were knocked up with me when you were 15 !!"

"YOU WAIT A MINUTE YOUNG LADY..."

I slammed the door on our way out. "Sorry girls, when she gets drunk, she forgets what a slut she used to be." We were all laughing now, arm in arm. "Not like us, right?"

Silence.

"We're still waiting for _the_ gig... right??"

Silence.

"OH MY GOD!!! _ROSE _?????"

She just smiled hugely...Then I turned to a very red faced Alice.

"ALICE ?? YOU TOO ??"

So we held off practice, broke out the beers and toasted their deflowering. They told me their stories of them giving themselves to the Cullen brothers. I was a bit shocked, but seeing how happy they were, I was in turn happy for them. They found love.

A kind of sadness crept into my heart. A subtle emptiness I had never known was there. I felt that my world was changing and I felt that kind of ripping away from how things used to be, making way for the things that are to come. As they each told me their stories of love and happiness, the creeping emotions became stronger, more pronounced until I could barely breathe. My friends had grown up and I felt left behind.

I took a deep breath and swallowed these feelings, shoving them deep, deep down. I had plans, I comforted myself, I had a future. Love is fine for people who were not going anywhere. Alice and Rose had suddenly put down roots in Forks. They weren't going anywhere anytime soon. Not me. I was going to dance in the Louvre.

Practice went well. I threw myself into the music where I belonged.

I headed up to my room, got my stuff and went to take a shower. As the hot water ran down my body, I sifted the things that happened today through my mind. Edward and his lips and the Mountain Lion. Rose and Alice and them doing it. Focus, Bella, eyes on the prize. This competition could be my ticket out of here. A regular gig somewhere. Save up my money. Paris. Paris. Paris. Edward. What? No no no. Music. Paris. Louvre. Naked. Edward. Naked Edward. ARG!

I got dressed in my flannel pj's with the pink bunnies on them, put my towel dried hair into a high ponytail and went into my bedroom to work on my song. I had the lyrics down. I was just stuck on the music part.

There was a small pile of stiff papers on my desk. Probably some articles on std's or something Renee printed off the computer. It was sheet music. It was my song, the title printed in a beautiful script across the top:

**Through Glass**

**Lyrics by Isabella M. Swan**

**Music by Edward A.M. Cullen**

"Oh my God!" I gasped. "What the fuck?" I threw on a heavy sweater, my Ugg boots and flew to the garage to play it on my guitar. Approaching the garage, I heard music. A beautiful, haunting melody. I opened the door and there was Edward, sitting on a box, playing my acoustic. He looked like an angel. His hair was in a disarray around his gorgeous face. He was wearing a black Henley that hugged his chest and arms and tight, tight jeans, black boots. He smiled when he saw me.

"You did this? My song?" I was amazed. I was ..I was..going to faint. He saw me sway on my feet and rushed up to steady me.

"Here sit, let me play it for you, see if you like it?" I nodded and sat across from him. He began to sing my words, and he was so beautiful and his voice was so beautiful that a tear begun to slide down my cheek.

I'm looking through the glass

Don't know how much time has passed

Oh God it feels like forever

But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home

Sitting all alone inside your head.

By the time he was done, I was a blubbering idiot. He got up from the bench and came over to me. He knelt down betwen my legs before me to be at my eye height and wrapped his arms around me, cradling me, comforting me.

"Did you like it, or are you crying because I suck that badly?" He laughed softly, and the sound felt like home.

"Oh Edward!" I cried and buried my head in his chest. He stood us up, still holding me, and lifted my chin up to face him. He bent down slowly and pressed his lips to mine. Softly, gently. Once. Twice. And then, more urgently, he captured my lips with his. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my body against his. It was like my individual life melted away and swirled around Edward's, like our very souls themselves were dancing in spirals together. I never felt more whole, more complete. And then:

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!!" Crap. My Mom. My Mom and Jose Cuervo. "Get inside NOW!"

"Hello Mrs. Swan, " Edward said politely, releasing me.

"Don't hello _me, _young man." She slurred out, "I know what you want! I know what you are here for. Well, let me tell you something. My daughter's a virgin and she's going to stay that way. You hear me????"

'MOM!!! OH MY GOD!!!" That was it, I was officially dead. I was dead and this was hell. I died a virgin and satan was making me pay for it.

"Well, maybe I should go now. Goodnite Mrs. Swan," He was smiling like he just won a prize. Oh, I would never live this down. "Goodnite, Bella, see you at school on Monday."

He bowed at the waist and took off.

I pushed my way past my Mom, going straight to my room. I slammed the door as hard as I could and locked it. Mom was at the door, banging on it and yelling. I put my headphones on and turned it up as loud as I could stand it. About 5 minutes later, I lifted my ear piece to listen. Good. I heard her snoring in her room, passed out.

Clink...clink...clink...against my window. Clink...clink...I ran to it and threw it open. Edward was standing down below, throwing pebbles, a big smile across his face.

"Bella!"

"Edward!"

"Do you really like it?" He called up.

"I love you...IT...I love IT!" Oh fuck! Could this night be more screwed up? And yet still be so beautiful?

"Goodnight, my Love!" He chuckled softly and with that, he disappeared into the night.

**A/N: Bella, Bella Bella...Open mouth insert foot! This is so much fun to write! I hope you're enjoying it...OMC! You guys are frikken making my day with all of your reviews and adds! I love you...I mean it! Haha...Love and lemondrops...BSL**


	7. Chapter 7 : Bad To The Bone

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Seven: Bad To The Bone**

**A/N: This one is a roller coaster ride, so hang in there with me and ride it out! **

Since that night, Edward was around me like flies on a horse's ass. Ok, not a pretty metaphor, but you get the picture. He was at practice when he could, always touching my hair, holding my hand, kissing my cheek. It was lovely to have all the attention but he was infiltrating all of me, not just physically. Every time I sat down to write all I got was sappy love songs. I mean, songs so flowery, Alice and Rose would just burst out laughing. Not good. I was losing my edge. But I knew how to get it back. I needed a good fight. And I knew just who to pick on. Someone just as hot tempered and would challenge me. Someone I was just aching to beat the holy fuck out of. Jacob Black.

The only problem was how to get away from my own personal shadow? I needed a plan. Jake and his band practiced at an abandoned barn on the rez. So I needed a good excuse why I was going not only for Edward, but my girls so they wouldn't want to come. So, I wandered into the kitchen where Charlie was just finishing up dinner. Renee hadn't reached drunken slob status yet, but she was well on her way.

"Hey Dad?"

"Ya, (burp) Bells?"

"Does Billy still have that old truck for sale?"

"Ya, matter of fact we were just talking about it this morning. He's really come down on the price. Why you change your mind about it?"

"Ya, I was thinking maybe we could go look at it tonite." Come on Charlie, bite.

"Ok. Let me go take a dump and I'll be ready. Hey, you know Jake's in town." He said with a sly smile on his face. He always thought he and I would make a good couple. Right.

"Oh? Cool. Think I'll go by and say hi to him afterwards." Ha ha – ya me and my Bowie, my nunchucks and my shiny brass knuckles.

He grabbed the newspaper and headed upstairs. I got on my phone and called Alice. She was at work, so was Rose. No one had seen Edward today though. He was probably out molesting a badger.

After Charlie stunk up the bathroom, we headed for La Push. It hadn't changed much since I was a kid. The truck was actually very cool. It was an old beat-up piece of shit, but it had cool potential. It just needed a little love. Some flames on the side and a good work over by Rose, our resident car genius. I gave up my savings to Billy and Charlie matched it, so it was mine. I told Charlie I was going to go hunt down Jake, literally, so he left and I got in my new truck. Geez, it roared to life and I mean roared. Cool.

I made my way down the dirt road to the edge of the rez. I heard the unnerving sounds of cats being tortured and knew that could only be Jake playing guitar. He loved death metal, well his version of it, but it just sounded like noise to me. I parked the truck up the road. Before I got out, I filled each pocket with a weapon. Brass knuckles in my right front pocket of my jeans. My faithful Bowie (a present from Edward, retrieved from the school safe) in my right boot and just for the fun of it, my mini taser in my left front jeans pocket.

Jacob was an arrogant little punk last I saw him. I had been waiting for him to grow up so i could kick the snot out of him. I was so ready.

I was in my battle gear. Tight low-slung jeans, hip boots with sharp pointy toes and heels, my red sports bra-I took my shirt off in the truck so he would have nothing to grab.

This was going to be fun. I got out of the my truck and walked right into the barn.

Holy fuck.

"_Jake_?" He looked up at the sound of my voice. The he _stood _up. OH. MY. GOD. He had grown. He was frikken huge. He was at least 6 ½ feet tall and bulked out like a prize fighter. His black t shirt strained against his pecs. I stood there, frozen in my tracks. Where was the little, short, runty, skinny punk I used to easily pin to the floor, making him beg for mercy? My eyes bugged out, my jaw dropped. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights. I was in trouble. BIG trouble.

"Bella!!" he took 2 big legged strides to reach me and grabbed me up in a bone crushing hug.

"ACK!" Let me go you fucking animal!" I managed to squeeze out.

"Still a bitch, huh, Bells" and he dropped me.

"You have no idea."

"Hey Bella, 'sup, sexy?" Quil leered at me, licking his lips real slowly.

"Put your tongue back in your mouth or I'll cut it off Quil," I spat at him.

"Awwww, Bella, you don't wanna be so mean...we go waaay back..." Embry had an evil look on his face as he edged his way towards me, "C'mere, babe."

Before he could touch me I had the Bowie to his throat.

"Give me an excuse Embry and I'll gladly slit your slimy throat," I hissed.

"Quil, Embry—Get out !" Jacob snapped.

They backed away from me and took off out into the trees. I'm sure they didn't go too far. Perverts. I turned back to the problem at hand.

"Geez, Jake, what are they feeding you?" I said looking him over with a sneer on my face.

"I could say the same thing about you, Bells. Look! You grew tits!" He reached out to touch them.

"Touch me and sing soprano." My knife was now pointing at his nuts. Maybe Cullen was right about me and nuts. Hm.

I started to back away. I needed to get out and fast. This was a big mistake.

"Now, Bella, is that any way to treat an old friend?" He said taking a careful step towards me.

"I had intended on kicking your ass, but I don't have the time right now, so you'll have to give me a rain check."

I backed away faster. He sprung at me, knocking me down and pinning me to the dirt.

"GET OFF ME JACOB BLACK."

"You want me Bella, you know you do, you always did."

"NO-Jake, never. Now get off."

He had both of my hands over my head holding them together with one of his massive hands, the other one holding my face tightly. He bent his head down and mashed his lips on mine, forcing them open. His right hand freed my face, but started trailing down my neck, my shoulder. He pushed my bra up revealing my breast. He roughly grabbed it, pinching my nipple hard. He moaned into my mouth.

"Jake! Wait! Jake! STOP! What are you DOING???"

" I want you Bella, right now!"

I had to stay cool. I had to think fast. I needed him to just release my hands. I quit struggling and threw myself into the kiss. He responded and then moved his lips down my throat.

He said hoarsely, "I bet you're still a virgin. "

"Yes, I am, Jake..." I breathed back, arching my back to him, "Yes, Jake."

He moaned loudly "Good, you'll be nice and tight..." He loosened the grip on my hands, grinding his body on top of mine. Then, he did it, he released my hands to unbutton his jeans. He pushed his pants down just enough to reveal his manhood and then he began to fumble with the button on my tight jeans.

"Here, baby, " I breathed seductively, " Sit back, let me take my pants off."

He quickly released me and sat back on his heels, watching me unbutton my pants. I sat up on my knees and unzipped them slowly. I stuck my hands in my pockets and pulled them down, down slowly slowly. That's when I...

**Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z **

500 VOLTS TO THE BLACK FAMILY JEWELS !!!!!!

He flew back off me and hit the ground screaming.

I jumped up and started running for the open door. My truck pulled up and the passenger door flew open:

"GET IN !!" Edward yelled from behind the wheel.

I jumped in just as Quil and Embry reached the passenger side door. The engine protested as Edward floored it. Quil and Embry had to dive out of the way to avoid getting hit as Edward swerved towards them on the way out.

When we cleared the tribal land, I threw myself at Edward. I sat up on my knees and kissed his face, his neck, his forehead while he laughed..

"Thank you ! Thank you !" I said over and over again. He pulled the truck over on the shoulder.

"Um..Bella...?" he said calmly, smiling to himself, he looked out the driver's side window, "as much as I love what I'm seeing, I don't think Forks is ready. "

What? I looked down. My pants were down around my thighs, my red lace thong barely covering anything and there was my boob, still sticking out, pointing at him.

"_SHIT_! Damn you Jacob Black!" I cursed him. While I adjusted my clothing, my whole body blushed. Edward had a goofy grin on his face, staring out the window. I just shook my head.

"Well, I think he got the worst of it," Edward laughed darkly, and then turned serious, "What were you thinking ?? Are you completely insane? Half a second more and he would have...he would have...Oh my GOD!" He was yelling at me, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and finger.

"Na, I had it under control," I said as calmly as I could manage although I knew it wasn't true. I may have taken out Jake, but Quil and Embry would have gotten to me before I could've reached the truck. Thank the stars Edward was there. Wait a minute...

"What were _you _doing there?"

"I was...hunting." He said a bit strangely. He started the truck and pulled out onto the highway.

"You were following me," I folded my arms across my chest, "Edward Cullen, you were stalking me."

"Me? Noooo. I was hunting deer."

"Ya, well, doesn't that sort of break the treaty?" He tried to remain calm, but I caught the fleeting look of surprise before he calmed it down.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said dryly.

"Listen, I grew up here. The rez was my second home. I know all the stories and legends about the Quilleutes and the cold ones and the treaty."

He looked at me.

"You know what I am?"

"Yes."

"You don't care." He sounded like he didn't believe me.

"Nope." He slipped his jacket off and gave it to me. I put it on and pushed the sleeves up.

"Honestly, Edward, this is Forks. We probably have leprechauns in the woods."

"You are incredible," He sighed.

"Once again, you are stating the obvious."

**A/N: Whew! Bella is one tough chick. I had to split this chapter in two, it got to be very long, so I should have the next one out tomorrow. Thank you for the reviews and adds, you guys are really overwhelming me in a good way! Review please! Love and lemon drops...BSL**


	8. Chapter 8: Why Don't You Stay?

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Eight: Why Don't You Stay? (Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band)**

**A/N: The song created during Bella's songwriting scene is "Who Wants To Live Forever?" by Queen. Download if you can, it's beautiful.**

The rest of the ride home was quiet. We just held hands and looked out the window. Edward had the strangest look on his face. I decided not to process what just happened. Except it was kind of thrilling that Edward saw my boob as much as it was totally embarrassing.

"Do you want me to drop you somewhere?" I said as we entered Forks proper.

"Ya, I'll drive myself to work. Be careful going home, I saw a Bingo fight breaking out at the Senior Center, I wouldn't want you to take down any grandpa's or anything."

"Ha. Ha. Oh hey, the Zoo is revoking your membership..you're making the bats nervous."

"Oh please. Like I haven't heard that one before."

We pulled up in front of the Pizzeria. He hopped out and I crawled over the bench seat to get behind the wheel. Before he shut the door, he leaned in and touched my cheek.

"Bella," he had a scared look on his face. My heart broke.

"Everything will be alright, Edward," I said tenderly, holding his hand to my face, " You'll see. Don't worry, ok? Come here," I lifted my face to him. He bent down and kissed me gently, but I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. "I've got to go to practice." I said to his lips, "Take care of yourself, ok? I'll be fine. Call me later if you want to."

I closed the door and pulled away from the curb. He stood there watching me drive away.

Oh brother, this is getting serious.

I stopped by Alice's to pick the girls up in my new truck. They heard the deafening roar when I pulled up and ran out to greet me. Rose immediately popped the hood and started taking the vitals-oil, water, fluids, hoses, wires, spark plugs.

Alice stared at me curiously, "Bella..uh..did you go for a roll in the hay?" She looked me over and saw the dirt all over my jeans, my back, the muck on my boots, the debris in my tangled hair.

"Um...well...I sorta ran into Jacob Black."

Alice grabbed my hand and we went up into her room, leaving a very happy Rose alone with my truck.

She got me a full change of clothing from Rose's closet and a wet washcloth. I told her the story as she started brushing out my hair. When I got to the Jake almost raping me part, she yanked my hair sharply.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU ???? "

"This thing with Edward...it's not working out so good," I looked down at my hands as tears began to fall.

"What's wrong? I thought you two were really close. I thought you were falling..."

"I am Alice! I am falling for him. Hard. That's the problem!." I got up and started pacing, "I can't do this right now...not now."

"Look, Bella, I know love was never in your plans. But, shit, sometimes, especially when you least expect it, things happen and they are just...right. You and Edward fit together. Holy shit, Bella, you even make great music together. Give him a chance. Give_ love_ a chance. Dammit-give yourself a chance, Bella, you deserve love." Alice was crying with me now, holding my hand.

As if to emphasize the point, Esme came in just then with Rose trailing behind her.

"Girls, I have some news. Carlisle and I are getting married!!" She was beaming she was so happy, her whole face lit up with love. I had never seen her so filled with joy. Esme had had a hard life, raising Alice alone after her abusive husband just up and disappeared one night, after first leaving her close to death. Now, she found true love. Alice and Rose squealed with delight and joined in a group hug.

I said a weak congratulations, excused myself and went home.

I went to my room, locked out the world and buried my head in my pillow, crying myself to sleep.

When I woke up it was dark. I had a breakthrough or a breakdown, whichever-I got a song in my head and went to the garage to put it down on tape to play for my girls. It was dark, it was moody, it was brilliant. The words came out of my heart, but the music came out of my soul. It was an anti-love song and I called it:

"Who Wants to Live Forever"

Theres no time for us  
Theres no place for us  
What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us

Who wants to live forever  
Who wants to live forever...?

Theres no chance for us  
Its all decided for us  
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us

Who wants to live forever  
Who wants to live forever?

Who dares to love forever?  
When love must die

But touch my tears with your lips  
Touch my world with your fingertips  
And we can have forever  
And we can love forever  
Forever is our today  
Who wants to live forever  
Who wants to live forever?  
Forever is our today

Who waits for forever anyway...

I played it for Alice and Rose and they were in tears.

"Oh God, Bella, it's beautiful," Rose sniffed.

"It's so sad, it's breaking my heart. You're a genius." Alice dabbed at her eyes.

"Good. That's two songs for the competition." I stated.

We worked on the song for the rest of the night until the wee hours. It took a few times before we could get through it without crying. But, Alice worked on the bass and drum parts, while I wound my guitar around the melody. Rose perfected the vocals and worked on the harmony also so I could sing back up. We really could use a keyboard on this too, but that would mean adding a fourth member. Cullen could handle lead well enough, freeing me for the keyboard, but fuck it, I didn't know if I could handle him being even more in my life.

Matter of fact, it was time I reset the boundaries between us and I decided just how I was going to do it. I needed a good, stupid prank. Something better then the ill-fated fish head debacle of 07. Something cooler. Something monumental. Something to send his head spinning out of orbit. The prank to end all pranks. And it involved sheep.

I went out to the farming end of town and tackled a sheep. This was not too easy, but then again, the greatest pranks needed great preparation. I lead the big, white thing up the ramp and into the back of my truck. Edward was in 7th period when I drove up with my fluffy cargo. I broke into his Volvo and shoved 'Maaaa" into his back seat. I left a note:

"In case you get lonely."

This was going to be good! I laughed my ass off, then went on my merry way, cutting last period and going home to get ready for my new job at Forks Blockbuster Video.

I had the 4pm to 8pm shift every week night. Not a great paying job, but it was a job and I liked the hours. When my shift was over, I went out the back to my truck. Something was different. OH SHIT! My truck now had new sheepskin seat covers. A note hung from the rear view:

"Thanks for the snack."

Dammit. He's good.

The only thing I could do now was to be totally honest with him and tell him to back off. But how? He seems so sensitive. I didn't want to hurt him and I definitely didn't want him to leave me altogether. But, I didn't want to lose _me_ either.

So, I texted him the next morning.

"Cullen."

"Swan."

"Do you want to hang out?"...Me.

"U mean like ur boob the other day-which was magnificent, btw."

Charming.

"Ha. Ha. I mean, like go for a drive?" ...Me.

"I'll drive."...Edward.

"Fine."...Me.

"10 min."...Edward.

"Fine."...Me.

I waited outside nervously pacing. I'm not used to being thoughtful or tactful for that matter. I had to word this right. 'Listen, Edward, I'm just really not into you..." Oh my stars what a lie. "Edward, you and me are two different people..." Ya, I'm a human and you're a god.

Oh no. What the fuck? A deep, booming snarling engine got closer and closer.

Edward, decked out in a tight, black leather jacket with silver zippers up the sleeves pulls up on a black and chrome Harley chopper. He's got on tight black jeans, black leather gloves and boots. Even his helmet is black with silver trim and a clear face shield.

My knees went weak. He was the sexiest thing to walk the earth and now my Harley fantasy was right in front of me.

He got off the bike, took off his helmet and walked straight for me. Wordlessly, he grabbed me up in a passionate kiss that took my breath away.

"Here," he took my hand and walked me back to the bike. I ran my hand over the handlebars. He brought out a black leather jacket in my size from the saddlebag and a helmet like his. Mine had a beautiful hand painted butterfly on the back with a "B" incorporated into the intricately detailed wings.

"Put it on, " he smiled at my wide-eyed expression, "Let's go."

His expression was so devastatingly gorgeous, I couldn't help but smile back. I hopped on the back and held on tight. We were going so fast, the scenery was just a blur, but I didn't care, I was holding onto Edward's body and I just melted to him. At the stop lights he would reach his hand down and stroke my leg. I didn't care where we were going, I never wanted to let go.

We rode west towards the beach. We stopped on a path leading up to the dunes. He parked and we took off our helmets. His hair was perfect, of course, mine needed a little work. We walked hand in hand towards the water.

I couldn't put it off. I had to do it now. We stood there looking at the grey clouds over the rolling sea. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. I hated myself for what I was going to say.

"Cullen..." I started, looking at our joined hands.

"Swan." He looked at me from the corner of his eye, still facing forward.

I steeled myself, trying to find the resolve I had earlier.

"Edward..." I looked up at him. He turned his head and looked down at me.

"Bella.?" I gulped as his eyes grabbed mine.

"Nice bike. Is it yours?" I suddenly felt like a complete dork.

"Yes. Its' a hobby of mine my Dad indulges me with. Fast cars, bikes, planes."

"Oh."

"Listen, Bella," he took a deep sigh and faced me, taking both of my hands in his. "I know you have plans and I know your plans don't include me. Or this..but.." He had that pained look on his face that absolutely tore at my heart. "I won't hold you back, and I won't get in the way of your dreams. But maybe, while you are here...we could...you know...be together.. until you want to go? I won't stop you, I promise. Or make you feel guilty or stop you in any other way. I swear on my oath. Just...please...let me love you while you're here?"

"Edward..." the tears were flowing taking my resolve and any doubts about us with them.

"I love you Bella! I love you," he cried, grabbing me up in his arms, pressing his lips against mine.

Tossing my fate to the wind, I surrendered myself to my destiny.

**A/N: Hi everybody-all you beautiful Twilighters! Thanks for the reviews and adds-I was a little nervous about the last chapter, but you stood beside Bella and helped kick Black ass! Review and tell me what you think! Love and lemondrops! ...BSL**


	9. Chapter 9: Ballroom Blitz

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Nine: Ballroom Blitz**

**A/N: Well, here it is...the competition has arrived at last. The song Royally Screwed performs is "All Around Me" by Flyleaf. The minute I heard it, I thought it was a perfect Twilight song. Enjoy!**

The weeks to follow became a blur of Edward, school, Edward, work, practice and Edward. When he wasn't with me, I thought about him, dreamt of him, fantasized of a life with him. We didn't do the normal things most 18 year olds did. No movies, dinner dates, walking on the sand or anything like that. He took me places I had never been before. We got on his chopper and went exploring. We visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Yellowstone National Park, the Museum of Modern Art in San Francisco. While we were in San Francisco, he took me to City Lights Books where he bought me volumes of books and had them shipped back home. Including a rare leather bound edition of Jane Eyre. It wasn't that he wanted to shower me with gifts, he wanted me to see the world. I think he felt our time was limited and that made him want to do everything with me while I was still around. I started to wonder, was there some way I could eat my cake and have it too?

In other news, Esme and Carlisle's wedding was approaching, they picked Valentine's Day. Fucking lame, I say. Why not get married on some day not so obvious like Alfred Packer Day? So, Alice is her Maid of Honor, Edward is Carlisle's best man, Rose and I bridesmaids (gag), Jasper and Emmett, ushers or groomsmen...whatever. I was not a happy camper and only got involved when necessary for fittings of my dress. At least the dresses were cool. I was afraid she'd go with some pink chiffon nightmare, but not with Alice in charge of the details.

More importantly, the competition was coming up fast and we still were one song short of the three original song requirement. I took out my notebook, one quiet afternoon at the video store and started thinking. Edward, I thought. Could I tell him I love him? I couldn't. Those words came with a promise I didn't know if I could keep. Things like forever. And stay. I started writing. I decided to focus on the present, how he makes me feel when I'm with him. That's when I wrote my song just for him. I wanted it to be a surprise, so my girls and I only practiced it when he was working. Only a few days to go. I was more nervous about playing my song in front of Edward than a crowded auditorium full of people from around the state.

The night of the competition was finally here. We loaded up the equipment in my truck and headed to the auditorium. We were nervous, but excited. This could be it. Of course, we always thought every time could be it...but this time there was a good chance. It was just a local thing, but you never know, right? We pulled up to the talent entrance on the side of Forks Performing Arts Center and began unloading. Edward, Emmett and Jasper were going to meet us afterwards. We wanted to be focused on the music and not the heat between our legs.

"Oh _shit_, " Rose whispered to me and then motioned with her chin. Jacob, Quil and Embry were unloading Jake's truck at the same time. Alice, Rose and I froze in our tracks and took a group deep breath. We were well armed, and each of us were ready for anything. They spotted us and began walking our way.

"Well, well...look what we have here." Quil said menacingly.

"Looks like our dates have arrived." Embry drooled, looking us over.

"You have a lot of nerve showing up here, Bitch," Jacob snarled at me.

The three of them pushed us up against the wall of the auditorium and leaned in. Like we choreographed it, all three of us girls whipped out our switchblades and held them to their nuts.

Just then, the stage manager stuck his head out the door and called, "Jake's Pack! 15 minutes!" and went back inside.

"This is not over, you'll be on the end of my dick by the end of this night, and then you'll be my bitch forever," He leaned in and licked my face with his hot tongue then backed away towards his truck.

"Ew, I should have stuck him when I had the chance," I mumbled then we went back to unloading.

Jake's band was going on first, we followed, then the other two, Van Helsing and Push Comes to Shove.

The Pack took the stage and Jake's lead guitar just wailed in screechingly high notes that made my ears ring. The crowd looked shocked at first, but then the guys in the mosh pit started throwing each other around and looked like they were having a good time. To our grand amusement, about half way through the first song, somebody threw a beer bottle at Jake's head and the glass broke all over his face. Blood gushed out of his sliced head and dripped down his face and shoulders. All three of them, Jake, Quil and Embry ran to the edge of the stage and launched themselves into the crowd, pounding whomever they could catch.

There really wasn't any security, I mean this was supposed to be a friendly competition and this was Forks, for crying out loud. Things quieted down finally. Jake and his guys calmed down and started removing their stuff off the stage and packing it up. They were eliminated. Ha!

We were all set up behind the back curtain, and had been warming up while all of this was going on. It was hard not to join in the fight, but we were totally focused on winning this thing. Now that one band was eliminated by their own testosterone fueled stupidity, we had a better chance.

Just as we were about to be announced, Edward, Jasper and Emmett appeared stage right. They came out and kissed us good luck, my ass getting a quick squeeze from Edward, which made my whole body come alive.

The curtains parted..."Ladies and gentleman, our second act in the Battle of the Bands Competition -please welcome Forks own: Royally Screeeeeeeewed..."

The crowd went crazy whistling and hollering.

Rose grabbed her mic and yelled-"Our first song was written entirely by our sexy lead guitar, Bella...**this one's for you, Edward** !!"

I was shocked she said that, but launched into "All Around Me," the secret song we had been rehearsing. The words said it all:

My hands are searching for you  
My arms are outstretched towards you  
I feel you on my fingertips  
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being  
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me  
And you whisper you love me  
And I begin to fade  
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway  
The angels singing say we are alone with you  
I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry  
The light is white  
And I see you

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand  
I give it to you  
Now you own me  
All I am  
You said you would never leave me  
I believe you  
I believe

I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healed

I turned to look at Edward in the wings and he had the most brilliant smile on his face. His eyes were soft, his bottom lip was quivering slightly. It took all the strength I had to not put my guitar down and run into his arms. And that's when I saw him.

Jacob Black had launched himself at Edward's back and knocked him to the floor. At the same time, Quil and Embry had run out on stage and grabbed Rose and Alice and flung them over their shoulders, running off stage with them. Smack dab into Emmett and Jasper, who were waiting. Edward rolled into a crouch position, facing Jake, growling furiously. Jacob's whole body was twitching. I heard snarling behind me, snarling in front of me. All six men were making furious animal sounds. What the fuck?

Edward yelled-**"BELLA! GET THE GIRLS AND GET OUT OF HERE **_**NOW!"**_

"NO EDWARD!" I yelled back "I'M WITH YOU!"

"WE CAN HANDLE THIS -**GET OUT **_**NOW**_"

I quickly spun around. Alice and Rosalie had been dumped on the floor while Quil and Embry faced down Emmett and Jasper, who were also yelling at my girls to get out. Quil and Embry, like Jake, were quivering and twitching. I grabbed Rose and Alice's hands and split out the side door leaving the snarling, growling men behind. The ushers already had the auditorium cleared and locked down, waiting for the police to arrive.

I heard the sirens of my Dad's cruiser as we were pulling out. The side door of the auditorium exploded into a thousand splinters. Three huge wolves, with their tails between their legs, crashed through it and took off into the trees, yelping and whining. Edward, Jasper and Emmett stopped pursuit just outside the door and were laughing their asses off.

I sighed. Men!

The sirens got closer and our boys took off in the opposite direction into the night. Charlie pulled up behind me, got out of the cruiser and ran up to my window.

"Oh thank GOD!" He cried and hugged me through the window. "Are you ok??"

"Ya, Dad, of course I'm ok, " I snorted, trying to sound not in the least freaked out, "Everyone's gone, Dad, it's over. Jake's group got a little out of control, but the Cullens chased them out before anyone got hurt."

"The Cullen boys, eh? Hm! Ok...I'll just go in and see what's what. You girls go on along home now, you hear me? Go straight home."

"Yes, Charlie," We said in unison.

I took the girls home and then headed to my house. Edward was outside, casually leaning against his chopper. I flew out of my truck.

"Edward!" I cried out and jumped into his arms. I was so relieved and happy and scared and my heart just exploded to see him in front of me. I attacked his lips with mine and he wrapped me up in his embrace, holding me tightly.

"_Isabella Marie Swan_!" a very drunken Renee slurred/yelled from inside the house," Get off that boy and come in this house!"

"Let's get out of here," I suggested. We hopped onto the chopper and took off.

It was a full moon tonite, it was so beautiful and bright, it lit up the whole sky. I hugged Edward's back as closely as I could, not wanting a breath of space to come between us.

We drove down a long, winding, dirt path for a couple of miles until we came upon a magnificent white house. He pulled up in front and stopped. He took my hand, helping me get off.

"Where are we?" I asked looking at the mansion in front of me.

"My house, well, my Father's house. Let's go in."

"Is anyone home?" The lights were out. It looked empty.

"No, my dad is working graveyard, and my brothers...well, let''s just say your friends are keeping them company elsewhere tonite." He had an impish smile on his face.

"Uh huh," was all I could manage to say as he led me up the stairs and opened the door. My whole body started to tingle at the prospect of being alone with Edward.

He shut the door slowly. I looked around, even with the light of the full moon as the only illumination, the room was huge, but basically devoid of furniture. Except on a raised platform, bathed in the light coming from the bay window it stood in front of, was a beautiful grand piano. Before I could inquire, Edward bent down and pressed his cold, smooth, beautiful lips to mine. A fire deep within me, started to flicker hot and urgent. My whole body came alive and the tingle that had started earlier was no in full bloom. He paused the kiss and said to my lips:

"Do you want to see my room?"

"Sure, ok."

**A/N: How do you like me now?? HaHa!...Thank you for the reviews and adds-you guys are the best! I'm working on getting the wedding clothes on my profile...go look at Esme's wedding dress/shoes...and don't you love those boots for the bridesmaids? OMC the French know sexy clothes! Review or I shall run mad! **

**Love and Lemondrops to all of you beautiful Twilighters!---BSL**


	10. Chapter 10 : Getting Away With Murder

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter 10: Getting Away With Murder**

Edward took my hand and led me up the stairs. Up to the second floor and then up the staircase again to the third floor. Down the hallway to the last door, he opened the door, held out his arm gesturing in.

"Entre vous, mon cheri, sil vous plat," he said elegantly.

The full moon through the floor to ceiling windows cast a subtle glow in the room. He grabbed the remote off his desk and with the push of a button, romantic lights and music filled the room. One wall was covered with a huge CD collection, a grand stereo and speakers dotted all four walls. And then, there was his bed. No, not a bed-a work of art. A heavy, four-poster with intricately carved details all around in ebony and inlaid gold. A thick, red velvet down comforter with gold tassels hanging off the corners and gold pillows of varying sizes lay on top.

"Just how many chicks have you had up here??" I asked, curious at his "swinging bachelor pad" layout.

"Um..." turning his back to me, he went to his CD collection and started loading up the multi-disk player.

"Oh my God ! _That many _??"

I sat down on the bed, not so sure I wanted to go through this now. Edward took off his boots then walked over to me and removed mine. He sat next to me on the bed, a shy kind of smile on his face. He took my hands in his and looked at our entwined fingers.

"Actually," he started. Oh no..he's a man slut!! Of course he is! Look at him! He is sex walking for crying out loud!

"Actually, I've never...well...I'm a...well, like you...if what your Mom said was correct..."

"_YOU_? Edward Cullen?? Are a... a _VIRGIN_??" I was laughing so hard, I fell back on the bed. I couldn't breathe, I was gasping for air, holding my sides.

His mouth was stretched in a hard line.

"What is so funny?"

"Edward...hahahaha...you are the sexiest, the most absolutely without a doubt most beautiful man on God's green Earth and _YOU _can't get laid ??? " I couldn't stop giggling, the thought was so ludicrous.

"I am? Really ?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, of course, you asshat!"

"Hm..well, I never met anyone I wanted to..make love to...I mean, until now, that is..." He laid next to me on the soft comforter, sideways, propped up on his elbow, facing me, staring deep into my eyes with that damned crooked smile on his lovely face. I touched his cheek.

"Edward, " I sighed, he was so beautiful I wanted to cry. He leaned into me, as I lifted my face to his.

Both of our cell phones went off at the same time.

"Alice," I sat up fast, it said '911 911 911" Triple 911 meant something really bad happened.

"Jasper," Edward said...'911 Bella.' His text from Jasper said.

"What Alice what??"

"Call Charlie NOW." My heart stopped.

"He's calling now, bye. Dad? Fuck...fuck...fuck, ok Dad, I'll be right there."

Edward hung up his phone at the same time.

"Edward----" I said shakily.

"I know, come on, I'll take you."

Renee hit a tree on her way to the liquor store. Her Prius was totalled. She, on the other hand, was feeling no pain. She was at the jail, in the drunk tank, sleeping it off for the night. Shit. My life is a living nightmare. I held onto Edward tightly as we sped along on his Chopper. I said a quick prayer of thanks to the heavens for this man. He was my life line, my safe harbor.

Charlie was at the station. His face was gray, ashen and his eyes were red from crying. When he saw me, he came over and hugged me tight to him.

"We could've lost her tonite, Bells." He sobbed.

"What are going to do, Dad? This was too close. I'm scared."

He let go of me and ran his hand over his face, "It's time, honey, it's time to go to Phoenix," fresh tears falling on his worn out face.

He had been researching and planning for this day, but could not bring himself to actually do it. But this was a serious wake-up call. He got on the phone to reserve her a room at the resident treatment facility. To the good folks of Forks, she would be visiting her Mom's for 2 months in Phoenix.

Edward and I stayed with Charlie while Renee slept it off in a cell. Edward let me lean my head on his shoulder while silently holding me. When I tried to stifle a huge yawn, he turned to Charlie.

"I'm going to take Bella home, if that's ok with you Chief Swan."

"Call me Charlie. Of course, and please stay with her, I won't be home tonite and I don't think she should be alone," he stood and extended his hand out to Edward. He took his hand in a manly shake, "Thanks, Edward. Thanks for everything. I heard that you handled the Jacob Black situation at the Performing Arts Center earlier tonite and kept Bella from getting hurt. Thanks for looking after my girl. You're a good man, Edward."

My eyes were moist and overflowing. The two men I loved shaking hands and sharing a moment over me.

When we got to my house, Edward walked me to the door. "I don't have to stay if you don't want me to."

"Don't go, " I said, yawning, "I don't want to be alone."

"As you wish."

He followed me up the stairs to my room. I opened the door and shut it quickly, turning in horror to Edward..

"Um...give me a minute?"

He laughed, "Going to hide the bodies?"

"Ya, something like that. Wait here and don't move."

I went in my room and was a tornado of activity. Underwear, bras, old clothes, dirty sox, dishes, burger wrappers all got shoved into my closet. I opened the window which for some reason, even though I've never opened it, opened easily. Thank the stars I changed my sheets this morning!

I opened the door to let Edward in. He strolled by me and sat on the rocking chair by the window. He opened his arms for me to sit on his lap. I curled up, resting my head on his chest. He rocked us for a while, humming a beautiful song, stroking my hair. When I yawned hugely, he lifted my chin with his finger.

"Why don't you go get your pj's on and I'll tuck you in?" his velvet voice murmured.

"Ok," I yawned. I grabbed my flannel pj's with the yellow and white daisies, a change of panties, my toiletries and headed for the bathroom. I washed, brushed and changed.

When I opened the door to my room, Edward wasn't in the chair. I panicked a bit, feeling sadder than I should have that he split. He cleared his throat. He was in my bed under the covers. What was he wearing? He pulled back the covers of my bed and patted the space next to him.

"Are those Charlie's pajama bottoms?" I giggled.

"Well, yes. I rummaged through his drawers and found these. Think he'll mind? Do you mind?"

"Hm...perhaps you should get up and show me what they look like on you."

He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes at me.

"Come on, Cullen, do the cat walk!" I teased.

He hopped out of bed. He had on a tight white wife beater that hugged his pecs, his abs, mmm so nicely. Gosh, his arms were muscley and well shaped, not too hairy. He had on a pair of dark green and blue flannel bottoms that were a little too big, so they sat low on his hips revealing those 2 lines that guys have that form a V to his...his... and oh! He had a lovely light brown happy trail from his belly button down to his...his.. I got dizzy. I think I stopped breathing altogether.

"Well?" He laughed bringing my attention slowly up his belly, his chest, his shoulders to his face, which was fully amused by my unabashed ogling.

I got under the covers and brought the blanket over my head. "They...you look fine..." I stammered from underneath, too embarrassed to be seen.

He joined me under the covers and pulled them off my head.

"Sleep." He said plainly.

"Oh ya, sure," I said scowling. Then I yawned, my lids too heavy suddenly.

"Turn over, darling, let me hold you," he whispered.

I turned my back to him and we lay there, spooning like an old married couple. It felt so good, so right. I was comfortable and I wasn't sure I could ever sleep alone again.

"Edward," I mumbled, half asleep.

"Yes, love?"

"Stay?"

"Yes, love."

I fell asleep in Edward's arms, so content, so happy. So this is love? I'll take it.

The alarm went off at 7:15 like every other weekday.

"Shit shit shit fucking hell shit!"

"Well, good morning to you, Sunshine."

"Edward!" My eyes flew open. He was sitting in the rocker, changed into new clothes and smiling at me.

"I thought I was dreaming last night!"

"Eat your breakfast, you're going to be late."

Coming from my night table next to my bed was the delicious smell of coffee and a warm cinnamon roll.

"Oh! You spoil me!" He laughed at that. I gulped down the coffee and shoved the deliciously gooey bun in my mouth as I grabbed a sweater and skirt out of the closet, some underwear out of the drawer and headed for the bathroom.

"You go on ahead, I have to go pick up my girls, I'll meet you there," I called out over my shoulder. Stupid three seater truck.

I washed and brushed quickly, throwing on my clothes. I opened the bathroom door to find Edward waiting, leaning up against the wall.

He grabbed me up in a passionate kiss, one hand on the back of my head, the other on the small of my back, pressing me into his body. My right leg, like it had a mind of its own, wrapped around Edward.

He lifted me up and pressed my back against the wall, not breaking the kiss. He reached down and brought both of my legs up around his waist. He broke the kiss, panting and breathed in my ear, "See you at school."

Setting me down on my feet, I grabbed the wall to keep from falling as I gasped for air.

"Bastard!" I yelled after him.

I heard him laugh as he closed the front door.

I picked up my girls and we talked about Renee, the competition and how much we hate Jake, Quil and Embry and how much we love Edward, Jasper and Emmett, or Edwee, Jazzy and Emmie as we call them when it's just us girls.

The wedding was in a couple of days, too. Suddenly I wasn't that disgruntled about it. For some reason I couldn't explain, I was even looking forward to it and the sudden change of heart delighted Esme and my girls to no end.

Charlie flew Renee to Phoenix over the weekend to get her all settled in. He got the judge to reduce the charges for her first offense if she agreed to stay for the full two months treatment along with five years probation. She agreed and off they went, leaving me here with Renee's platinum Mastercard and the house to myself for four glorious days.

Not wanting to waste a moment of freedom, a party was definitely called for. No-a full-tilt, over the top, head banging, fuck the world kind of blow out to end all blow outs.

Word spread fast at school, at the mall, at the college: Friday night at Bella's. Excellent. We got Van Helsing, whom we got to know at the ill-fated competition, to come and play. They were over 21 too, so they came early and made the booze run. Sweet! Edward had to work until 9, but he said he'd bring a mountain of pizzas when he got off.

Emmett and Jasper came over after school and removed all of the furniture and breakables from the living room to the garage to make room for dancing. Alice brought over her stereo which was pretty cool, to play CD's between sets.

Rose and I went to the Thriftway with Renee's Mastercard and charged a shit load of snacks, sodas, a dozen crushed ice bags, juices for mixers and four party trays of crudite. When we got home, we filled two huge coolers with the crushed ice and stuck the soda cans and beer bottles in them to cool down.

The weather, if it cooperated, was forecast to be cloudy, of course, but dry, so kids could hang out outside too. Alice and i dug up the loose brick walkway in front of our neighbors house-hey, they were on vacation-and made a small fire pit in the backyard for the stone heads to stare at and also to keep people warm when they were outside. Emmett found some fallen tree trunks in the woods next to our house and laid them around the pit to sit on.

Cool. Things were beginning to look good. Kids started to arrive around 8 just as Van Helsing was warming up in the living room. By the time they lit into their first set, the house was packed. Alice, Rose and I decided to take turns as the "Blendy" manning the mixed drink station in the kitchen at the blenders. I was at the blenders when the vile Mike Newton appeared in front of me with Jessica, in full slut attire, at his side. Lauren, in similar clothes, slutty, with a drooling Tyler behind her and Erik Yorkie came in with some high college girl. Hm. His skin was clearing. She must be blowing him. The thought made me gag.

My jaw clenched. I began to scan the crowd behind them through the kitchen door for my girls. Shit. My cell was up on my bed.

"This is an asshole free party-I'm afraid you 'll all have to leave." I spat out.

"The party's just getting started, babe," Newton sneered. Jessica, Lauren and the high chick laughed like hyenas. Tyler and Erik just looked brain dead.

"I brought some old friends with me," he snorted out a greasy, evil laugh. The kitchen door closed and locked behind them. Suddenly, I felt something behind me. But in front of me, Jacob Black, towering over Mike and his groupies, appeared, looking not too amused.

"Hello, bitch," He snarled between his gritted teeth. I backed up.

"Hi sexy," Quil and Embry were right behind me,"Let's play." Quil grabbed my hands and painfully held them behind my back. Embry, looking for weapons, I assumed, ran his hands over my body, up my shirt, over my bra, down my sides, up my skirt, over my thong, down each thigh, while I struggled in vain.

"Having fun you dickless piece of shit??"

"Not yet," he drooled out.

"WAIT !" Newton called out and came around the kitchen island to me, "Let's not forget these..."

He bent down and took my boots off. He put one to his face and sniffed deeply, "Aaaaaahhhhh," he let out his breath.

Oh Geez.

"Get her upstairs!" He commanded.

"Edward is on his way-he's gonna KILL you." I screamed at Newton. The music was so loud in the other room, I knew no one would hear me outside this room. Everybody cracked up like I just told the world's funniest joke.

"We sent him on so many fake pizza runs, he'll be busy for hours...plenty of time...for us. LET'S GO-MOVE IT!" He yelled at Quil and Embry. Why was Newton in charge here? It didn't make sense.

I turned to Jake and spat out, "How much is he paying you to be his _bitch_??"

He roared and backhanded me across the face. I tasted blood in my mouth as it dripped down my chin. Tyler, Lauren, Jessica, Erik and the high chick started filing out into the living room, leaving Newton, Jake, Quil and Embry, who was still restraining my arms behind my back.

"Now what, you fucking loser!" I yelled at Newton.

"Well, we're going to take you upstairs and we are all going to fuck you. We may leave you breathing. When Cullen gets here, he can have your sloppy seconds." All of them howled with laughter. Sick bastards.

"No one touches her before I do!" He instructed the others.

"I promise you, Newton," I glared, "I'm gonna enjoy killing you."

"If you live after we're done with you-BRING HER!!"

He went up the back stairs that lead to the second floor. Jake roughly grabbed me from Quil and threw me over his shoulder. He turned to Quil and Embry and whispered, "You guys go up there and take care of him. Bella is _mine _and no one else is going to touch her-understand?"

They flew up the stairs after Mike. A loud racket ensued, furniture smashing, glass breaking. Then silence. Jake sat me on the countertop, spreading my legs, he stood between them. He grabbed my hair in one hand, pulling it sharply. Shit that hurt. I didn't make a peep. His other hand held both of my wrists behind my back.

"I learned, huh? Had them frisk you this time. So no taser to the nuts, no knives, no nothing. Just flesh upon flesh. You and me. It's natural, Bells, we grew up together. I should be your first. Cullen's too much of a gentleman, " he made a gag sound, "I know his type. Bet he said he wanted to '_make love' _to you, like some prissy mama's boy, huh? That's not what you want Bella. You want to be fucked like an animal." He started kissing my neck, biting my earlobe," I know you, you want a real man. You need to be taken and fucked hard." He let go of my hair and ran his hand up my skirt.

'Patience, Bella,' I told myself, gritting my teeth hard, ' Wait. He'll slip up and then you can fuck him up.'

First, I heard an ear splitting growl. Then, Jake flew backward off of me, hitting the wall hard, knocking stuff off the shelves.

It was Edward! Before a nano second passed, he tossed Jake out the window where Jasper and Emmett were waiting holding Quil and Embry in choke holds from behind them. Edward had Jake on his knees in a head lock choking him from behind, bending Jake as far back as he could without snapping his bones.

I got my boots on and went outside. Getting a running start I flew at Jake and kicked him squarley in the nuts. I'll be you could hear him scream in ten counties.

"I'M NOT YOURS!" I yelled at him with all the force I had in me, "I'M NOT YOURS—I WAS _NEVER_ YOURS—I BELONG TO EDWARD!"

And then, as the truth of what I had said hit me, I looked Edward in the eyes and softly said:

"I belong to Edward."

**A/N: Whew! Long chapter eh? Hope you enjoyed it...Have I told you how frikken amazing you guys are? The reviews and adds are just making me dance like the fool that I am! Many surprises next chapter as things between Bella and Edward heat up to boiling! Review! Love and Lemondrops to all you lovely Twilighters!!...BSL**


	11. Chapter 11: Instant Karma

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Eleven: Instant Karma**

The adrenalin was rushing through my veins. Not only had Edward rescued me again, and once again I got to reduce Jacob's chances to reproduce, but I had just publicly declared my love for Edward. I willingly gave him the keys to my soul.

"Bella, love, would you do me a favor?" Edward, although he was choke holding a 225 pound asshole with sore nuts, was talking to me like we were sitting down to tea.

"Yes, of course, my love, my heart, what?" I felt giddy.

"Reach into my front pocket and get my keys? I want you to go bring my Volvo back around here. Would you mind, my dearest love?"

"Of course not, my Edward," I said happily and skipped over to him. Yes, I skipped.

He stretched his left leg a bit so I could reach into his tight jeans for his keys.

"Hm.." I was having a problem getting them out.

"That's not my keys, darling." Edward chuckled. Jacob made a gagging sound, or tried to then Edward tightened his grip so then a choking sound came out.

"Oops, geez Edward. Only you could get excited now!." I laughed.

"It's not you, he's getting a boner holding on to me," Jake struggled to get loose, Edward answered his stupid joke with a twist of his arm to the throat.

"Ok, got 'em, be right back." I bent down and kissed Edward on the lips quickly and took off around the front of the house.

I met Alice and Rose on their way back to find Jasper and Emmett. "Don't go back there unarmed, there's been a little La Push trouble, but the Cullen boys have everything under control...but you may want to poke a few holes in them."

"You fucking slut!" Rose said mockingly,"What did we miss?" And with that, they took off to the backyard, knives drawn. I heard "Ouch!" "Cut it out!" "Hey!""Call off your bitches, man!""Quit it!" from Quil and Embry while Alice and Rose laughed maniacally. I love my girls!

I backed up Edward's car down the driveway into the back yard.

"Thank you darling, pop the trunk!" Edward called out to me and I did.

I came around the back and heard muffled sobbing. There in the trunk, was a bruised, tied up, mouth taped, Mike Newton. Oh yes, i decided to have a little fun. I ripped the duck tape off his mouth in one sharp movement causing him to scream like a little girl.

"Bella! Bella..thank GOD! Get me out of here! They said they were going to do bad things to me! They said they were going to...do to me...what I said I was going to do to you! And I'm a guy! Help me Bella! You've got to help me!"

"Sono spiacente che non parlo inglese!" (Italian for 'I'm sorry I don't speak English').

"WHAT ???" He was panicking now.

"Je suis de'sole' que je ne parle pas anglais!" (In French, this time).

"Am I going mad??? Bella? What did you say???"

"Va te faire foutre fils dickless d'une chienne!" (French for 'Fuck you dickless son of a bitch!') and with that, I stuck the tape back on his putrid mouth.

Edward had easily wrestled Jacob into standing and threw him into the trunk on top of Mike. Mike screamed muffled bloody hell. Before he could make a move to get out, Emmett and Jasper tossed in Quil and Embry. Edward slammed the lid shut, breaking several leg bones. Well, it made it easier to shut the trunk.

"They're fast healers." Edward winked at me.

"What if they phase in there?" I heard Emmett whisper to Jasper.

"Bye bye Newton!" They hi fived , slapped each others hands and snapped. Men.

Jasper and Emmett got in the Volvo and drove off, kissing Alice and Rose good-bye.

Edward took my hand and led me inside. "They 'll let them out in a couple of hours somewhere around Canada," he said reassuringly.

Van Helsing was playing, people were dancing and getting quite trashed. He found a spot on the dance floor and twirled me, then held me close to him, "I love you, Bella." He lifted my face to look in my eyes, "I'll never let anyone touch you, I promise, not while I'm around."

"I love you, Edward." he brought his lips to mine and kissed me softly, gently, swaying to the music.

P.S.: Mike Newton never returned to Forks. Rumor had it that he was so fucked up from what happened, he was found wandering the highway in his tightie whities, singing "Won't You Be My Neighbor," from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. His parents locked him in a looney bin and moved to Seattle. As for the Pack, when the Tribal Elders found out what Jacob and his henchmen were up to in Forks, they were sent to a New Hampshire Tribal boot camp where they are being trained to be an asset to the tribe and getting the holy fuckwad beat out of them daily by sadistic Native American drill instructors. Proving once again that the Universe is a circle, Karma rules and what goes around comes around.

**A/N: Yes, my lovely Twilighters, I believe that about the Universe being a circle and all. Don't get out your Bowie knives-I know this was a shortie! I'll write more tonite and try to post late late tonite or maybe in the morning! Just wanted to finish this part up. Did you like it? Did the Pack and the Vile one get what they deserved? Let me know! Do YOU believe in Karma, that what you put out comes back at you-good and bad? Love and lemondrops...BSL**


	12. Chapter 12:Waiting For The Stars To Fall

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Twelve: Waiting For The Stars To Fall**

**A/N: A little heads up, this chapter is a bit steamy!**

The day had finally come. Alice's family and Edward's family were joining together. Alice and Rose were besides themselves with joy. Partly because Carlisle paid off Esme's mortgage and after the wedding, my girls will live there rent free. I figured he and Esme figured this was a better alternative than to have four horny teenagers constantly doing it under their roof. And partly because they were overjoyed that Esme and Carlisle were so beyond happy together.

The four of us girls spent all day getting ready at Esme's. Carlisle had an army of cosmetologists, hairdressers, masseuses and personal assistants assigned to do our bidding all frikken day. We were pampered with massages, foot rubs, facials, manicures, pedicures, waxings and had our hair and make up done to our specifications. We were lavished with expensive French parfum. Our assistants fed us strawberries and champagne out of beautiful crystal, finger sandwiches and petit fours. Then they helped us into our wedding clothes. I've never been what you would call a girly girl, but I could definitely get used to this kind of lifestyle fast. I wondered if this is what it would be like being a Cullen. Hm...

When Esme emerged from her dressing area, she looked like an elegant movie star from back in the day when they were glamorous and gentile. Her auburn hair was worn up in a twist with long, tendrils falling all around her heart shaped face. A small white rosebud and baby's breath tied in a delicate black silk ribbon was secured with a petite diamond cluster comb to the top of the twist, perfectly matching her dress. A gift from Carlisle, she wore white fresh water pearl drop earrings imported from an island that still gets them old fashioned way, not from a cruel oyster farm. She carried a simple, elegant bouquet of three long stemmed Calla Lillies tied with a blood red silk ribbon.

Alice's dress was blood red silk, cocktail length, off the shoulder, with a black silk ribbon around the empire waist, trailing down her back. She wore black silk calf length stiletto heel, pointy toe boots. She was stunning.

Rose and my bridesmaids dresses were the same style as Alice's, except ours were black with blood red silk ribbons and red silk boots. Our hair hung down our backs in loose curls, our make up was smoky kohl.

We were fucking drop dead gorgeous if I do say myself!

Carlisle sent us a white stretch limo promptly at 5. They were to meet us at the ceremony at Calvary Chapel, a cute little non-denominational 'church' downtown, where Pastor Bruce and his wife Miss Lynette, as the kids call her, have baptised and buried just about everyone who grew up in Forks, us girls included.

Our entourage followed behind us in a black Escalade, ready to massage nervous shoulders, touch up make up or tame a wayward strand of hair.

Esme was the epitome of calm confidence, so positive of her future happiness with this man she adored.

We gathered together in the bridal room for last minute hugs and tears and then we heard the music begin. Jasper was waiting to take my arm outside of the room. He was quite handsome, tall and blond in his Armani black silk suit, skinny red silk tie on a black shirt, white rose boutonaire with a sprig of baby's breath, red silk handerchief. Emmett was dressed in matching garb.

The place was packed with Esme's co-workers from the museum and her friends, and Carlisle's co-workers from the hospital. We started up the aisle and that's when I saw him. Edward. Standing there. I'm sure there were other people around but all I saw was him. He had on a formal black silk custom made tux, complete with tails. A high collarless black silk shirt with bloodstone buttons, white rose bud bouttonaire, red silk handkerchief. His face, so beautiful, his long , bronze hair perfectly coiffed. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't feel my body. His gold eyes held mine with a look of love so deep, so penetrating I felt like he and I were the only two people in the world. I think I actually stopped moving forward as at one point I heard Jasper chuckle softly and whisper, "a little further, Bella" in my ear.

When we got closer, I finally saw Carlisle standing there next to my Edward...my Edward...looking between my face and his son's, beaming a huge smile on his own face. He leaned towards Edward and whispered something to him. Edward nodded his head, never looking away from me and said "Yes."

Jasper placed me on the opposite side and joined the men. Rosalie and Emmett soon joined us. Alice was suddenly there and the music changed for Esme's entrance. I had to force myself to stop staring at Edward. I'm such a dork!

Esme's Dad, an old geezer from some midwest hell hole, walked his daughter down the aisle. She was lovely. She glowed. She only had eyes for Carlisle as he did for her.

The ceremony was ancient, yet timeless, as weddings are. They each recited something to each other so romantic and heartfelt, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Even the Pastor had to wipe a tear from his cheek.

I just gazed into Edward's eyes and he looked in mine, capturing me there.

When the Pastor said "Do you Carlisle Winston Cullen take Esme Anne Platt to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, foresaking all others from this day forward, 'til death do you part?"

At the same time Edward and I cried "I DO!" and we ran to each other and I threw myself in his arms and he kissed me with urgent lips, tears streaming down our faces.

That's when we heard it.

The whole congregation was on their feet, laughing and cheering and then broke out into spontaneous applause, whistling and clapping.

Well, there are not enough words to describe the many shades of red my face turned, as Edward and I realized what just happened. He took my hand and pulled me over to his side and said simply, "Uh..please continue." to the Wedding party.

A visibly happy Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper slapped Edward on the back, laughing. Esme, Rose and Alice all grabbed my hand, smiling, tears falling.

Esme and Carlisle finished their vows without further interruption and we all adjourned to the Cullen Mansion for the reception.

The reception was, cool, in a way, I suppose. They had a small orchestra that was playing classical music along with some light jazz. Edward twirled me around the dance floor, holding me close. Alice came over as the song ended and crooked her finger to us, "Follow me."

It looked like everyone under the age of 25 was making a mass exodus behind Alice. We followed her to one of the huge outbuildings behind the Mansion. We stepped inside. Alice had converted it to resemble a night club, complete with lighting, bar and stage. Our old friends, Van Helsing were playing-AWE FUCKING SOME !

I made a bee line for the bar, but Alice grabbed my hand "Oh nooooo-not in a $3500 silk dress from Milan-come with me! Edward, go find Jasper, he's got your things." Edward laughed and let go of me and we disappeared into the crowd.

Alice lead me behind a series of Japanese screens and started throwing clothes at me. Short black skirt, sapphire blue off the shoulder, long sleeved, silk jersey blouse. Even a black satin strapless bra and matching thong. She thought of everything. She traded me her black silk stiletto boots and put on my red ones. "Meet me at the bar!" she yelled over her shoulder and took off.

I struggled to get into the tight skirt. Geez it hung about two inches below my butt. I bent over to yank the boots on, when I heard a gasp behind me. Edward was staring at my partially exposed back side. So, I bent even lower, grabbing onto my ankles.

"Can I help you, Mr. Cullen?"

He came up closer behind me, holding onto my hips he pressed his body to mine, leaning over my back.

"Bella..." his breathing was ragged. Mine was non-existent as I felt his very prominent arousal through his jeans pressed up against my ass.

He reached under my skirt and squeezed my ass cheeks firmly, letting out a low growl. I wanted him _bad_, I wanted him _now._ I pressed back on him, reaching around to his..

"Have you seen Bella?" I heard..._Charlie! _SHIT! I straightened up fast as Charlie came around the screen. Edward was already gone.

"Hi Dad," I said trying my best to not look like my boyfriend was just about to fuck me.

"I...uh..." Oh, this didn't sound encouraging. "I was at the wedding." Oh no. He rubbed the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable. "Listen Bells, Edward is a good man. If he treats you good and you love him...well..then, you have my Blessing. Ya know, if you..decide to.." OH MY GOD was my father giving me permission to have sex with my boyfriend?? This is not happening.

"...get married." He finished his sentence...whew. I relaxed.

"We'll let you know, Dad," I laughed, "Don't worry, I won't run off to Vegas or anything. You'll get to walk your only daughter down the aisle."

With that settled, he hugged me and took off through the crowd, holding his ears against the strains of Linkin Park's 'Bleed It Out," screaming from Van Helsing.

Now to find Edward. I emerged from behind the changing screens only to be waylayed by Rose. "Come with me, my little bitch." She smiled slyly and lead me over to the bar where a bartender with a stoned smile was setting up three sets of three shots each. I knew what was going on.."OK Bella, it's time for 'I Never'", an old drinking game we liked to play. Where was Edward?

So I started. The object of the game is to state something you've never done, hoping to catch the others, revealing to all something hopefully, embarrasing. You have to down the shot if you've done it...

"I've never had sex in my car." I started. Alice and Rose downed their first shots. "Rose!" Alice howled, "You don't have a car!"

"I know! I had sex in _your _car, Alice!"

"Oh you fucking bitch!" and we all broke out in loud laughter.

Rose's turn, "I never had sex with Edward." All eyes were on me, of course. I smirked but didn't move. "What the fuck Bella !"

"I'm workin' on it-I'm workin' on it!" I laughed.

Alice's turn: "I've never kissed a girl!" I downed my shot, trying not to be conspicuous. Wrong.

"BELLA!" Alice and Rose screamed in shock.

"Well? Angela cornered me under the mistletoe last Christmas!" Everyone within earshot of the bar area was hysterical. The bartender was enjoying this way too much.

My turn now: "Ok my bitches, I've never given a stranger head!" Alice turned her back, but we all saw her slurp the shot down fast.

"What?" She said matter of factly, "It was before I met Jazz, I was bored, I was on-line in the chats..." Rose and I just looked at each other and then lost it.

Alice's turn, she smiled slyly and said: "I've never been skinny dipping."

"Bitch!" Rose and I screamed together and then downed our shots.

"Ok! Rose called out, "we're all even, two shots each, we need a tie breaker, someone's gotta go down-and I don't mean on Jasper, Alice!"

"Fuck you!" I frikken love my girls, I tell ya."Loser has to chug the rest of the shots, let's see that would be three."

"Oh so pretty and she does math too..." I mocked. Rose pursed her lips, then grinned. Uh oh, me and my big mouth.

"I've never had brown hair! HA! In your face La-hoo-zah-her!!!"

"Cheater! Cheater!" I accused and then the bartender lined up all three shots for me. One! Down the hatch! Two! Here's looking up your old address! Three! Here's to swimmin' with bow legged wimmen! Smooth. Now I was feeling gooood.

I stumbled my way to the mansion to pee. When I was done, I opened the door to find my oh-so-sexy Edward standing outside, leaning casually against the other wall. "Where have you been?" I smiled at him.

"Oh, I've been nearby, watching you have fun."

"Edward!" I threw myself...no, I tripped and fell and he stopped me before I hit the floor.

"I think it's time I took you home, my love, " He laughed, leading me out towards the cars.

"Yes, let's take me to bedward...HA! Edward take me to Bedward!" I was cracking myself up.

He picked me up, weaving our way through the throngs of people milling around outside.

"Goodnite everybody!" I called out very loudly, "Edward is taking me to Bedward!!"

WooHoo's and clapping rang out, whistling and laughing as we made our way out. I wrapped my arms tightly around Edward and started kissing his neck. His breathing started to come faster, so I started nibbling and licking.

"Bella..."

"Edward?"

He opened the door of his Volvo and placed me gently on the passenger seat. When he got in his side, I attacked his lips, pressing my body on his.

"Bella... Bella...honey...let's get you home."

"I don't want to go home, take me to your room."

"Now, Bella, I don't think that's a good idea."

"You don't want me?" I laughed, "I don't believe you!" I threw my leg over his lap and straddled him. I lifted my shirt over my head. "Tell me you don't want me now." I sat up so my tits were within a tongues distance of his lips. I felt his cool breath on me and my nipples went rock hard.

"Bella..." He kissed my neck, my shoulders, down my collarbone. My breath caught in my throat as his hands moved from my waist down to my hips. Abruptly, he lifted me off his lap and strapped me into my seat. "Not now, Bella." He panted, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingertips.

"Hmph!" I crossed my arms over my chest. Then I pressed the button, rolling my window down. I stuck my upper body through the window and yelled into the crowd:

"HEY!! Edward won't fuck me! Someone get Alice!" The people surrounding us raised their glasses and cheered.

"_Come on Ed, give it up_, " someone yelled, "_Man up_!" and "_I'll do you_!" from a few guys and a couple of girls as well.

"Bella, put your shirt back on please," Edward said between tight lips, "Here."

Unbuckling my seatbelt, I grabbed my shirt out of his hands and hung out the window again, waving my shirt at the crowd. "WooHoo!" I laughed.

"Nice rack!" Someone called back.

"Well, I think taking you home is no longer an option." Edward sighed as he was shutting and locking my window, "Bella? Where's your shirt??"

"Oops." I giggled. My shirt was now being thrown around the crowd like a frisbee.

Exhaling an exasperated sigh, he quickly unbuttoned his black shirt and put it on me, sticking my hands through the sleeves. Before he closed it to start buttoning it, he looked at my tits and let out a low growl.

"Kiss me Edward."

"No."

"Hmph..then take me home!" I pouted.

He finished buttoning me up and unlocked the doors. That was my cue.

I flung the door open and bolted out of the car into the crowd yelling:

"HELP! EDWARD'S GONNA EAT MEEEEEEEEE !!"

I ran into the Mansion and flew up the staircase screaming all the way. The ladies and gentlemen of Forks elite, sipping their champagne with strawberries in French crystal, looked up briefly, but otherwise continued doing what they were doing uninterrupted.

Edward was hot on my trail and gaining fast. I hit the second floor landing and that's when he tackled me to the ground, rolling us over the plush carpeting. Like a cat playing with a mouse, he let me go and I flew to the first door I came to, slamming it hard behind me.

It was a large office, filled with an amazing amount of books and paintings. I hid under the massive desk. Edward flung the door open. I watched his feet come around the desk. I bolted out the door and took the stairs to the third floor three at a time, screaming bloody murder all the way.

I reached Edward's room and threw the door open so it slammed against the wall. Uh oh...my head started spinning and the room suddenly began to sway and oh look, there's the floor coming up to meet me..

"Whoa Cowgirl.." Edward laughed softly as he caught me up in his arms. He carried me over to the bed, pulled the covers back and laid me gently on his soft soft bedding, laying down next to me.

"Edward?" I mumbled as he stroked my hair, sleep overtaking me.

"Yes, love?" He kissed my forehead.

"Marry me Edward."

"Yes, my love."

"Thank you" I sighed and then I became one with the darkness.

**A/N: This is one of my favorite chapters so far. It was fun to write, which is always the best. I couldn't wait to get it out to you guys. Late last night, I worked some overtime as a favor to a co-worker who needed to spend some quality time with her husband. I'm a sucker for love, what can I say? Good news is, I was able to write a couple of chapters. I love my job! Well, please review and in the meantime, I'll work at getting the next one out! Oh, ya, the song title belongs to a beautiful song from the 80's (wince!) whose lyrics has Twilight written all over it. Love and lemondrops you lovely lovely Twilighters! BSL**


	13. Chapter 13: My Immortal

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Thirteen: My Immortal**

While Esme and Carlisle were on their honeymoon in Ireland, he apparently got an emergency call from his last position in Alaska. Their Chief of Surgery was killed in a freak exploding condom accident and asked..no begged Carlisle to fill in temporarily until a replacement could be found. It could take up to a year, the frantic caller said. Without a moment's hesitation, Esme and Carlisle packed up and left for Denali as soon as they came back.

Edward, Jasper and Emmett were in charge of keeping the mansion in one piece while they were gone on this seemingly magnanimous mission of mercy. It just seemed, I don't know...the story was just sounding too rehearsed. After numerous attempts to weasel the truth out of Edward failed, I felt that a little friendly persuasion in one of my other bitch's directions was called for. So, while Rose was at work, I paid a visit on Alice at her house. I brought along my pal Jack Daniels with me.

"To Esme and Carlisle!" I toasted with shot #1.

"To Mom and Dad!" Alice laughed and drained her glass.

"To Jasper!" I lifted my glass.

"To Jazzy & his magical dick!" Into little Alice slid shot #2.

"To Edwee & his dick!" I smiled and swallowed.

"To Edwee! Long may it wave!" #3 down the hatch.

"To love!" I giggled.

"To _making_ love!" Alice downed #4.

"OK!" I said, although we still hadn't done the deed yet. Hm..."That deserves another!" I cackled and filled our glasses.

After shot number five, Alice and I started singing "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge and it was then I knew she was primed and ready. I had better strike while the iron is hot.

"So...have you heard from your Mom lately?" I casually asked as I filled her glass again.

"Noooooooooo. I won't hear from her for a long long long while." She giggled and then snorted.

"Oh? Why not?" Still trying to sound casual.

"To Vampires!" She called out suddenly, raising her glass.

"And their magical dicks!" I clinked her glass and threw it back a little too fast. I was a bit woozy.

"So, uh..why won't you hear from EzzzzzMay?"

"Well...after Car – lil...Car—lool...Car—lilly..car-ee-okie--dokie bit her..." With that she was rolling on the floor cracking up.

"Car-ee-okie-dokie!!" I lost it, I was next to Alice rolling on the ground, holding my sides.

"Wait..wait.." I snorted, trying to catch my breath, "He bit her?"

"Ya. She's one of the immortals now...oooooWEEEEooooo!"

"Wait a minute...So...Are they actually up there in Denali?"

"Yup, there's another vamp family up there there. It takes a while to get vamp-a-fied I guess, so they're up there there. Shit. They'll be back next spring here there, probleeee." And with that little Alice passed out.

W-O-W.

My cell buzzed.

"Yup?"

"Bella?" It was my Edwee. My boyfriend and his family of dicky neck biters. Hehe.

"Yup?"

"Are you at Alice's?"

"Yup."

"Are you alright?"

"Yup."

"Are you intoxicated?"

"Yup. Yup."

"I'll be right there."

"Car—ee--okie--dokie Bedward!" and with that I resumed cracking up and rolling on the floor.

He showed up about 2 minutes later in his sexy uniform and with pizza in hand.

"I didn't order a pizza, but I will definitely take the delivery boy. Come here and kiss me."

"Bella..." He frowned, looking a bit disappointed.

"Edwee, don't look at me like that, I was on a mission and I had to ply the witness with liquor so she would spill."

Edward looked over at Alice and raised an eyebrow. He put her on the couch and covered her up with the quilt that was folded on the back of it. He started a roaring blaze in the fireplace then went upstairs and got some blankets and pillows. He spread a couple of blankets in front of the couch, sat down and held out his arms to me.

"Come here, Bella." I sat next to him and he wrapped his arms around me. I snuggled in.

"Now, what were you saying about a witness?" He passed me a piece of pepperoni and bacon and cracked open a water bottle for me.

"Edward, " I began, swallowing a drink of water to wash the pizza down. "Did you know your Dad was going to bite Esme?"

"Yes."

"You knew?"

"Yes." He eyed me carefully, "When we find our soul-mates, the one person we are meant to spend our lives with, we mate once for eternity. It was Esme's choice, of course. She could live her life with Carlisle as a human for the next 50 years or so, or she could choose to live with him for eternity. She chose eternity."

My head cleared immediately as my brain processed this information and then my thoughts raced to their inevitable conclusion.

"Edward! Look at me!" I got up on my knees to face him, clutching at the collar of his shirt, looking in his eyes with mine wide as they would go. He held me at my waist.

"Yes Bella-what is it?" His face showing concern at my sudden seriousness.

"Edward!" I looked deep in his gold eyes.

"Yes Bella." He stated firmly, answering my unasked question to my eyes.

"You are my soul-mate." I stated.

"Yes, Bella. You are my soul-mate."

"And..._you_ will give _me_ the same choice...one day?"

"Yes. After we are married."

I sighed deeply, sank back into his arms and drifted off to sleep. My future never looked so bright, my present so beautiful.

Time flew pretty quickly then. Renee came home in April and it was like it used to be when I was younger. The good memories before Renee's drinking got out of hand. I decided I needed to straighten up, too, so I cut way down on stuff that was not so good for me, like beer.

Towards the end of the school year, they posted signs around the cafeteria offering seniors the chance to apply for the exchange program in Europe in the fall. Specifically, Paris. My mind was exploding. Paris. The Louvre. Naked. And then...Edward. Shit. My head throbbed. I slumped down at the lunch table and put my head in my hands. Edward sat next to me and rubbed my shoulders.

"Bella, are you ok?"

What could I say? I was completely torn. Then he placed a small stack of stapled papers in front of me.

"What's this?" I asked from under my hands.

"An application for the Foreign Exchange Student Program." He said, smiling hugely.

My head throbbing now reached new levels of pain.

"Bella, come on. I'll help you fill it out."

"Fuck you Edward. Just FUCK YOU-OK??" I ran crying out of the cafeteria towards the girl's room.

"What's wrong with Bella?" I heard him ask.

"Jesus! You _are_ an asshat!" Rose snapped back at him. Then I heard the click of her heels running after me.

Alice and Rose burst through the bathroom door. I was at the sink washing the tears off my face.

"Now what do I do ? WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I AM GOING TO DO NOW??" I moaned.

"Well, first, you can calm the fuck down!" Alice put her hand on my shoulder.

"Honestly, Bella, you haven't even been accepted into the program yet," Rose pointed out.

"Yes I have." I pulled the acceptance letter out of my back pocket.

"Paris! You're going to FUCKING PARIS, Bella!!" Rose and Alice were jumping up and down excitedly, squealing.

I just burst into tears sobbing loudly. Edward flung the door open and wrapped his arms around me. Rose and Alice left quietly.

"Shhh...Bella, love...shhh...Come on, come with me?" he put his arm around my shoulder, leading me out to his car.

We drove out to the beach. To the place where he first asked me to let him love me while I was here. Only so many months ago, seemed like years. We held hands, walking along the shore.

"Remember when we were here that first time?" He finally spoke, turning to face me. He took my hands in his and looked me in the eye. I couldn't read his face. It was blank, emotionless.

"I told you then I would never hold you back, or make you feel guilty or stop you in any way from achieving your dreams. Do you remember?"

"Yes, but..." I looked down, the tears were filling my eyes, threatening to spill.

"Look at me," He lifted my chin gently. "This is _happy _news. You're going to Paris, Bella! This is what you've dreamed of. I'll be here if you decide to come back to me."

"If??"

"That's right. There's one thing I've learned over the years, you never know what's around the next bend in the road. Enjoy your life Bella. You are young and free. Be happy."

He was sincere. He meant what he was saying. They weren't just words. He loved me enough to let me go. Even if it cost him his own heart.

I looked out over the rolling ocean. Brown pelicans dive-bombed into the water. The clouds were gray. The air was misty and cold.

"Take me home." Was all I said.

**A/N: Ok ok- untwist your panties – this is not a reverse on New Moon! GAH! I couldn't take him leaving her the first 25 times I read it and I can't take it here! This chapter was hard to write in some ways. But fun! Next chapter is going to twist and turn like the Top Gun Ride at Great America! Is Bella going to woman up and be the ugly Americain ala Francais? Or will she wuss out and stay home? Review and I'll write faster! (I'm like Pavlov's dog that way!)**

**P.S.: Oh My Frikken Carlisle you guys are blowing me away with your reviews and adds! Closing in on 300 reviews!!! I'm doing my happy dance! Love and Lemondrops...BSL**


	14. Chapter 14: Over the Hills and Far Away

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Fourteen: Over The Hills & Far Away**

**A/N: Hang with me, you lovely Twilighters, here we go:**

School ended. Whoopee. Summer is here. Yup. I worked full time at the video store to save up my money. I was going to Paris in the Fall. Edward was right. I had to go. I would hate me if I gave up this opportunity and more importantly, and he felt I would come to hate him because I allowed my feelings for him to stand in the way of my dreams. I didn't believe I could ever hate Edward, but he did and I couldn't bear to let him feel that way. Ever.

Renee told me that our love could certainly withstand a little time apart. But could I? Every day that clicked by, was one day closer to when I was going to be leaving. No one made me feel in the least bit guilty about going, but they sure poured it on, making me feel horrible for even thinking of staying. Especially Edward.

So, I threw myself into my Advanced French classes at Forks Community College. I emailed my sponsor family weekly with updates. We corresponded in French only to help me with reading and writing their language until it became fluid.

Edward only spoke to me in French, but because the way he murmured anything in French to me sounded incredibly sexy, I was constantly turned on.

"Bella, mon amour, voulez-vous aller au diner maintenant?"

(Bella, my love, do you want to go to dinner now?).

"Le non, mais moi veulent que m'embrassierz."

(No, but I want you to kiss me).I leaned in.

"Quand vous 'etes fait avec votre lec,on pour aujourd'hui, je la consider'rerai."

(When you are done with your lesson for today, I will consider it).He smiled crookedly.

"Ce qui si je forcais moi-meme sur vous?"

(What if I forced myself upon you?). I was getting to the point where if he didn't I was going to.

"Avez-vous l'intention de me violer?"

(Do you intend to rape me?). He said smirking now.

"Vous ne voulez pas me faire l'amour du tout?"

(Don't you want to make love to me at all?). I pouted.

"Plus que vous savent."

(More than you know). He smiled shyly.

"Edward..." I breathed.

"Finissez vos lecons et je pourrais vous laisser embrasser le mon..."

(Finish your lessons and I might let you kiss my...).

"Embrassez le votre ce qui??" (Kiss your what??).

"Levres de fille cours-sale." (Lips of course-dirty girl.)

"Vous m'aimez que la maniere...vous sont un garcon sale." (You like me this way..dirty boy.)

"Finissez vos lecons!" (Finish your lessons !). He laughed and went back to his book.

August came very quickly. Too quickly. You'd think I was going in for major surgery, not going to Paris. It was supposed to be a happy event. Why was I dreading it so much?

I didn't want a going away party which really upset my girls-_me _not want a blow out? Charlie and Renee even offered to go away for the weekend so we could do it up right. Anything to brighten my spirits.

But I just felt like my soul was being ripped from me. But I couldn't let anyone know and I had to go through with this even though my heart was breaking. It's only two months, Bella, get a grip. Two months without Edward-how was I going to live?

The night before I was to go, I told Edward not to come over. I was not going to say good-bye to him. I couldn't. I called him, putting on my beat smile in my voice:

"Au revoir, mon amour, je vous verrai en Octobre."

(Good-bye, my love, I'll see you in October.).

"Je serai ici." (I'll be here.) Was all he said and then he hung up.

I paced in my room for a minute. I got in my truck and raced over as fast as I could push the old engine.

I scrambled up the stairs of the mansion. The door flung open and I leapt into Edward's arms. He picked me up and kissed me and kissed my face and my neck and my lips. He ran up the stairs with me in his arms, up to his bed and shut the door.

I arrived in Paris around 2 in the afternoon. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I rented a car at the airport...well, it was a European shoebox...and took off for the Louvre. What can I say? It was even more magnificent than I'd imagined. Dancing naked was not going to be possible, but I did manage to discreetly remove my red lacy thong, hang it on the foot of the bronze statue "Artemis on the Hunt with Bow and Arrow" and take a quick picture with my cell phone. Hehe!

I attended their version of high school, causing quite a stir amoungst the Parisian student body. As the new novelty, I got asked out a lot, but politely, well mostly politely, refused. The female population was for the most part indifferent towards the American, but some were curious about life in the U.S. And so we spent hours after classes discussing high school and of course boys.

A bunch of us girls got together on Friday night and went to the local watering hole popular with the younger crowd called, 'Chanson De Sexe' (Sex Song). It was pretty fancy, so I figured this would be a great time to pull out the $3500 black silk number from Esme's wedding along with those fabulous red silk boots. The French boys were very responsive, to put it mildly, but I happily ignored them. We took seats at the bar and immediately got set up with shots of something clear. I don't know what it was, but it tasted a little like black licorice and was fucking strong. The barman kept pouring and soon I was up and dancing first with Claude, then Jean, then Francois and then Pierre. Pierre was a short-ish, cocky little prick about 22. I guess he was nice looking, but next to my Edward, he was a toad. He very politely, asked me if I would accompany him outside to get some air and have a smoke. I agreed, needing some cool air myself. First, he had to get his cigs from his car, so we walked down the street a bit and he got in.

"Come in, I want to play you a CD-have you heard of The Vines?"

"I love The Vines!" I said and got in the passenger side.

"It's in the glove box," he said as he reached over me with his left hand. I sat back against the seat so he could open the box. Instead, his hand went up my dress, while his right hand grabbed at my tits.

"What the Hell do you think are you doing??"

"Shut up! I'm going to fuck you." He said matter of factly. Gah! Different country-same assholes.

Be cool, Bella, I told myself, be cool and wait for the opening.

"Oh! Let's go in the back seat then, shall we?" I purred, lifting my dress exposing my blue satin thong.

"Oui!" He quickly got out of the front seat and opened the back door for me. "After you!"

I crawled in, laid down on the bench seat, pulled my skirt up and spread my legs. The trap was set. This was going to be easy. He unzipped his trousers, pulling them and his silkies down just enough to give me a good look at his throbbing 3 inches, then I...

**Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z**

**500 EURO VOLTS RIGHT IN THE CROISSANT !!!**

He fell back onto the wet street screaming and whimpering like the pig that he is.

I hailed a cab. In the taxi, I texted my friends at the bar that I was going home. All in a day's work, I laughed to myself.

My flight got into Port Angeles at 2 a.m. Renee, Charlie, Alice and Rose met me outside of customs. But no Edward. I didn't ask. I was afraid of what the answer would be. I made the decision before I left that we shouldn't correspond while I was in Paris. It would have made it too hard to stay. But I thought he would be here to greet me.

Charlie and the girls grabbed my suitcases and loaded them into the trunk of the cruiser. Alice and Rose got into the MGB and took off. I walked up to the cruiser, but Charlie put it in drive and pulled out onto the highway. Did they forget me? Na, this is a joke, they'll be back. Any minute now. Guys?

"FUCKING HELL !!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"No, this is Port Angeles. Fucking Hell is two towns over."

Edward was across the way, leaning against his Volvo, holding a bouquet of blood red roses.

"Edward!" I flew into his arms.

"Welcome home."

Edward and I locked ourselves in his house the whole weekend.

Jasper and Emmett and my girls made themselves scarce, leaving the entire mansion at our disposal for four days. I don't think we left a surface unhumped. We did it on all of the couches, beds, chairs, tables, floors, up against the walls, bent over credenzas from the 16th century, even on Carlisle's old mahogany desk. In the week that followed, we were kicked out of the Thriftway, McDonald's, the movie theater in Forks and Port Angeles, the bank, the bathrooms at Nordstrom's and Prada and asked never to return to the Aquarium ever again.

When we emerged on Tuesday to go back to school, my girls filled me in on the goings on while I was gone. The biggest news was that Rose and Emmett snuck off alone and eloped to Las Vegas. I pictured all the clichés you hear, you know, Elvis ministers and drive through ceremonies, but she pulled out her pictures and the little chapel was really lovely. Rose and Emmett looked so happy. She moved into the mansion where she and Emmett share a suite of rooms. Jasper moved in with Alice at her house.

"And you?" I said, turning my attention to Edward who was sitting behind me trying to inconspicuously remove my bra under my jacket.

"Hmmmm?"

"What did _you _do while I was away?"

"Well..." He pursed his lips in thought.

"Shit, Bella, he was all mopey and emo and shit!" Emmett roared with laughter, "What a fucking pussy!"

"Fuck! He was a total titty baby!" Jasper chimed in, "Quite pathetic actually. Playing "Siren's Song," by Mortal Coil full blast and watching "The English Patient" over and over again, wailing,'Oh God! Where is my Bella?? Where is she?? Come back to me Bella!!"

Edward gently moved me and tackled Jasper to the floor of the cafeteria, straddling his chest and pounding his face with both fists. "TITTY BABY HUH ? HUH? HOW'S THAT FEEL?"

"_MR. CULLEN !!!" _Mr. Banner boomed, _"OFFICE __NOW__!!"_

With one more smash to Jasper's face, Edward stood up stiffly and walked off towards the office still clenching his fists.

Well, I wasn't about to let my boyfriend serve detention alone, so I hopped up onto the table and shouted:

"FUCK YOU MR. BANNER YOU DICKLESS BASTARD !!"

"_MISS_ _SWAN_ !!" His face was purple with rage, "_OFFICE NOW_!!"

Well, my plan backfired on me-I guess I went a little too far, or not far enough, actually, with the dickless bastard thing. Edward got two days home suspension, I got two days inside suspension. Fuck. The worst part was that Jessica and Lauren were both serving three day sentences for who the fuck cares.

They sat across from me glaring at me and whispering to each other, looking at me and saying "Slut" and "Edward's Whore," which I took as a compliment.

"Hey Jess, they let Newton out of the nut house yet?" I smirked.

"You'll be the first one to know," She laughed.

"Ya, I wouldn't walk down any dark alleys alone if I were you, stupid fuck." Lauren added.

"I'd like that actually. I owe him a kick to the nuts."

"You're so lame, Bella. Only a Cullen weirdo would want to fuck you," Lauren spat out.

That was it- insulting me was one thing, but insult Edward-she must die. I lunged across the table, my hands within reach of her hickey laden neck, when someone grabbed me around the waist.

"Calm down, love," Edward gently restrained me.

"Did you hear what this cunt said ??" I was furious, struggling against him to let me go.

Edward leaned over the table and spoke to Lauren in a low, menacing voice:

"Tell Newton if he even thinks about touching Bella, I'll throw him in a trunk he won't be able to get out of next time. And if you ever threaten her again, I won't stop her from ripping off your ugly head and sticking it on a pig pole. Do we understand each other?"

She nodded furiously. He turned to Jessica: "That goes double for _you_, Stanley!"

At this point an ever widening pool of liquid appeared under Jess's chair. She peed herself!

"Nice!" I smile at Edward.

"Come on, darling, it's time to go," he took my face in his hands and gently kissed me as the final bell rang.

I felt it was necessary to make a point, so I whipped out my Bowie and stabbed it hard into the table in front of Lauren.

"Don't EVER say Edward's name again!" I spat at her.

Drip, drip, drip as a growing pool of pee appeared under Lauren's chair. I put my knife back.

Edward looked at me proudly, smirking, "Sweet!"

I met up with Alice at Fork's Pizzeria. Rose was working so we went to keep her company. Edward was working also, but between deliveries he came over for a quick snog and a pinch of my nipples..

Rose brought us our orders. I got the spinach tortellinis in garlic butter sauce, Alice got cheese ravioli with Alfredo sauce. She had a quick minute, so she sat down and we fed her bites of our dinner. I popped a couple tortellinis in her mouth. I looked down at her beautiful diamond and ruby wedding set and a thought occurred to me:

"Rose?"

"Ymm?" She took a swig of my coke to wash down the pasta.

"Is Emmie...Are you going to?...Is he going to...?"

She bit her bottom lip. Alice and I leaned closer.

"After graduation," she whispered, looking around cautiously, "We're going to Denali."

"Oh..sure..of course." I smiled and put my hand on hers.

"Um..Bella?" Alice looked down, moving her raviolis around on her plate absent-mindedly.

"You too, Alice? Yes, of course you are." I smiled a little and sighed, "Well, of course I'm happy for both of you. You'll make...uh...fucking awesome vampires!" We all laughed, breaking the tension.

"What about you and Edwee?" Rose asked and Alice popped a ravioli in her open mouth.

" I don't know." I frowned in thought, "we haven't talked about it since I've been back. Maybe he's changed his mind." I shrugged.

"I seriously doubt that," Alice looked at me like I had two heads, "Have you guys talked about after graduation plans at all?"

I looked down, my face probably a nice shade of crimson, "Actually, we haven't done much talking at all," I admitted.

Rose and Alice burst into laughter.

"You sah-lutt!!" Rose slapped the table laughing.

"Geez, Bella, you've turned into a dick fiend!!" Alice could barely breathe.

"Can you blame me?? He's a gorgeous fucking sex god!"

"You girls are having fun, huh?" Oops it was Edward. Shit.

"Lovely shade of red, by the way," He kissed my cheek and sat down next to me.

I buried my head in my hands. "How much did you hear?"

"Well, if I heard correctly, it seems that you are a dick fiend," a wide smile spreading across his face, "And I am a gorgeous fucking sex god."

"Just kill me."

"I'd rather fuck you alive," He started kissing my neck, one arm around my shoulder, the other hand inching its way slowly up my thigh. I clamped my legs together.

"Edward."

"Yes, Bella," he murmured against my throat, his hand attempting to pry my knees apart.

"You'll get fired.." He was trailing his tongue down my throat, towards my cleavage. His other hand was up my skirt, tugging at my thong.

"Edward..." I sighed, my head fell back and my knees opened in surrender.

"DELIVERY UP !!" Angela's Dad called out from the kitchen.

"Edward.." I was panting, his fingers teasing me, "Edward, go...you've got...to...go."

He groaned in my ear, nibbled it and walked off towards the kitchen.

"Oh my God, Bella, he practically fucked you right here!" Alice giggled.

"I know! It's like the more we do it, the more he wants to do it more!" I laughed.

"Not that you're complaining, right?" Rose pointed out, giggling.

"Not even a little!" I giggled back.

"You guys _really _need to talk about next summer." Alice was right. But how?

**A/N: Am I forgiven? Sigh...amore...This chapter was filled to the brim! Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. You guys are so wonderful..no...you're wicked awesome! I was actually going to end it with the Paris trip, but the voices in my head named Bella and Edward said they weren't ready to go yet...so lucky us! Hehe!**

**Review please..I'll be ducking your Bowie's as they fly! Love and Lemondrops...BSL**


	15. Chapter 15: Beautiful Soul

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Fifteen: Beautiful Soul**

Well, my girls and I sat in our booth at the Pizzeria for a bit contemplating what my next move should be. I mean, I didn't want to be one of those bitches that corners her boyfriend into settling down. I liked the way things were with Edward, but if getting married to him meant I could be with him for all eternity as his soul-mate with fangs, then that's what I would do. I also was aware that the only two times we ever talked about marriage, I was three sheets to the wind, so that didn't count.

"Well," Alice frowned in thought, "you could like, not have sex until he talks to you."

Rose and I burst out laughing, "And just who is this supposed to break, me or him?"

Angela stopped by our table, with a big smile on her face, "Hi guys! Guess what? Our friends Van Helsing got signed to a label!"

"Wow, really?" I remarked. Alice and Rose looked at me, "Thats..that's great Ang."

"Ya, well it seems that someone at the reception was a friend of the cousin of a record producer or something like that, and heard the band and mentioned to him or her or them...whatever and the rest is history! Isn't that cool? Gotta run, seeya !" And she took off into the kitchen.

I let my head fall on the table a little too hard. "Ow...can this day get any worse?"

Always always the wrong thing to say. Edward came through the front entrance and over to the table. "Um..love? I'm done for the day...let's go for a ride?" Oh fuck. I didn't like the sound of that. And that weird look on his face. Not good.

I groaned, "Ok."

When we got into the car, he took my hand, but kept his eyes on the road. "Edward, just get it over with." I said moisture forming in my eyes as I spoke these harsh words.

"Ok." Then he hesitated a bit. "Will you...go on a date with me tomorrow?"

"What?"

"Will you go on a date with me tomorrow night?" He repeated it slowly like I was mentally challenged, which at the moment, I felt like I was.

"How about 6? We can go to dinner. Or dancing. Or both, if you like." He looked nervous.

"Why do you want to go on a date? Honestly Edward, do you really need to go to all this elaborate planning just to break up with me?" That's it, the tears were flowing now. I looked out the side window at the trees rushing by.

He snorted and then looked at me, "Oh! You're serious! Are you crying??" He pulled the car over on the shoulder and screeched it to a stop.

He unbuckled me quickly and pulled me onto his lap, holding me to his chest..

"Shhh...Bella...I'm not breaking up with you...hush now, Bella. I love you..."

I couldn't stop. Now I was sobbing loudly.

"Bella! Listen to me. Shit...I was...I want to...Oh fuck it! Bella, will you marry ?" He just blurted it out.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed. It was night, the bright beams from the full moon lighting up my room in an eery glow. I sat up straight, "Edward!"

"I'm here, love." He said softly. He got up from the rocking chair and crawled across the bed to me, "Are you awake now?"

"What happened? Where? Oh, I was dreaming?" My face fell. I dreamt he asked me to marry him. Shit.

"Well, it seems that after I proposed to you, you fainted!" He chuckled softly, "You never did answer me, and by the way, my feelings are quite injured, " I could see his beautiful lips pouting, "very disconcerting to have the girl that you are asking to spend the rest of eternity with pass out at the mere thought of it!"

Tears were streaming down my cheeks in rivelets down my neck. "Yes Edward oh Yes!"

I threw my arms around him and we hugged each other tightly.

"Thank you, Bella...Oh wait a minute..." He stood up and retrieved a little black velvet box out of his jeans pocket. "Love?" He held his hand out to me to stand.

I stood up in my blue duckie pj's as Edward sunk down to one knee. Taking my left hand in both his hands, he looked up into my eyes. The soft gray moonlight created a feeling of surrealness.

"Isabella Marie Swan? Will you marry me?"

"Yes, Edward, yes."

"Thank you." He slipped his Mother's ring on my finger and kissed my hand.

I threw open the door and ran down the hall. Flinging open Renee and Charlie's door I screamed:

"MOM-DAD I'M GETTING MARRIED!!" Charlie sat straight up in bed snorting loudly.

"What? Burglar?? Where's my gun?" He patted the bed.

"No, Charlie, Bella's getting married..." Renee said half asleep. Then, bolting straight up she screamed:

"BELLA 'S GETTING MARRIED !! CHARLIE WAKE UP !!"

"WH-WHAT?" Charlie was still fog bound.

I just laughed maniacally and jumped on their bed. "LOOK!" I shoved the ring in Renee's face. Renee took my hand in hers and showed Charlie. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"Edward!" Charlie called out.

Edward shyly appeared at the door, looking down, hands in his pocket.

"Come in, son." Charlie held out his right hand for Edward to shake. Edward took it and Charlie pulled him down to the bed and hugged him, "Welcome to the family, son."

"Come here and kiss your Mother-In-Law, Edward! _AAAAAAAHHHH_!" Renee screamed laughing, "I'm a _MOTHER-IN-LAW!_!!" She held out her arms and Charlie passed him over to Renee who hugged and kissed his cheeks.

I just cracked up. The look on Edward's face was a combination of shock, horror and relief that Charlie and Renee were happy at the news. Happy is putting it lightly. Renee started forming the guest list in her head. "We'll have to fly my Mom in and put her up in the Motel 6 on highway 101..and then there's your Mother and Father. Geez we'll have to get separate rooms for them, maybe separate hotels...Oh! And we'll get Pastor Bruce to perform the ceremony...Oh! And we can have that Italian restaurant cater or should we have it at Sal Weber's restaurant or is Forks Pizzeria too informal for the Cullens? Oh! I'll have to call Esme in the morning in Alaska..." Then turning to me, "Oh! Have you kids set a date yet?"

"Uh..no...this summer, after graduation sometime, right Edward? Mom, let go of Edward!" She had her arm around him and snuggled in between her and Charlie. Charlie went back to sleep and was snoring away. He turned over in his sleep and put his arm around Edward, trying to feel his man boob.

Edward looked up at me with pleading eyes. "DAD!" I shouted, laughing, "Stop trying to feel up my fiance!"

"Come on, Renee, your parents are asleep..." He slurred, snuggling up closer to Edward.

"CHARLIE! GET OFF OF EDWARD!" Renee reached over Edward and smacked Charlie on the head.

"What!What! Burglar? Where's my gun?" He turned over the other way and fell back asleep, snoring loudly.

"Come on Edward, before you change your mind about joining this freak show! Goodnite, Mom!"

"Goodnite Bella! Goodnite Son-in-Law!" Renee cackled happily.

"Goodnite, Mrs. Swan," Edward said from the door.

"Call me Renee, for now... _Mom _after the wedding! Goodnite you two!"

"Oh my God, Edward," I buried my head in his chest once we were in the safety of my room.

He chuckled softly, kissing the top of my head, "I like Charlie and Renee. Your parents are cool."

"Cool is not the word I would use in connection with Charlie and Renee. Eccentric. Weird. Wacko. Ya, those are much more descriptive of them."

"It's two a.m. Let's get you in bed, shall we?" He said with an evil grin.

"Edward, now don't start anything in my room..."

"Who me?" He said innocently, while he shut the door."Now, get in bed, Bella, you need your sleep, tomorrow's gonna be a big day."

"Oh? What's happening tomorrow?" I asked, yawning hugely, getting under the covers. Edward started undoing his shirt. He removed it and laid it over the back of the rocker and then unzipped his jeans, placing them on the seat of the rocker. There was my fiance in nothing but his tight red boxer briefs and a beautiful smile.

He climbed into bed with me. "Turn over, my love, let me hold you." He snuggled up behind me and put his arm around my waist.

"Thank you, Edward.." I sighed, fighting the sleep that wanted to overtake me.

"For what, love?" He whispered in my ear and then nibbled on it.

"For wanting to marry me. For making me your bride." A tear slipped out of the corner of my eye and disappeared into the pillow case.

"You have it wrong, Bella. Thank you for wanting to marry me, making me your husband. I swear I will endeavor every day to be worthy your love." He said softly.

"Edward," I tried to argue, but it came out as a sigh.

"Sleep now, Bella, my love, my bride. You have made me the happiest man that has ever walked the Earth. Tomorrow we tell Alice and Rose. I'm sure they'll want to celebrate."

**A/N: Ahh...Edward. In red boxer briefs. In bed under the covers. Sigh. Once again, I am a dancing fool from your reviews and adds! You Twilighters are just the frikken best! So, this is a little light fluffy filler to tide you over. **

**Hey, you know the saying "Revenge is a dish that is best served cold.?" Not sure what it means, but I think the future Mrs. Edward A.M. Cullen is going to learn it first hand next chapter...hm? **

**Reviews have this magical effect of making my fingers fly faster...not sure why...hehe. Love and lemondrops ...BSL **


	16. Chapter 16: I Hate Everything About You

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boy?**

**Chapter Sixteen: I Hate Everything About You**

I woke up with Edward holding me. What a beautiful way to start my day. I couldn't fucking wait to get married and have him in my bed every day. My parents, Bless their pointy little heads, are way cooler than most parents and actually didn't give me any grief about Edward being in my bed. Or in my room at 2 a.m. Renee told me once that she would rather me doing 'stuff' in my room than on the street. Little did she know we were doing 'stuff' in my room because we were not allowed back into most public places since we can't seem to keep our clothes on when we are around each other.

It's not like any of the other kids in this town are any more virtuous. We would have the highest teen pregnancy rate, except we have a very educated, logical parental population raised in the 'make love not war' generation that understands about teenage hormones and that expecting teenagers to fight against nature is well..unnatural. Sex is a natural pleasure in life, the 'hygiene' teacher taught us when we very young. It's not something to fear; natural human sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. So, we are all either on the pill or can just stop by the local 24 hour Planned Parenthood for a very generous free bag of condoms. We don't have an abortion issue because there isn't one. Or, like me and my girls, who have vampire soul-mates who cannot impregnate humans or catch/transmit STD's. Life is sweet!

Edward went to work and I met Alice and Rose at Starbucks for coffee. I ordered an iced white chocolate mocha, Alice a hot caramel marchiatto, and Rose a light latte with a double espresso shot. We walked over to the comfy cushiony chairs. Two pimply faced freshman dorks were sitting there with their hot chocolates. We stood there, the three of us dressed to kill, literally, and waited for them to leave, which, of course when they looked up at us, they did immediately, shaking in their tightie whities. We got comfy and sipped our coffees. I smiled into my mocha. All of a sudden Alice screamed:

"AAAHHH! BELLA! YOU'RE ENGAGED!" Startling everyone in the place, coffees flying all over, the poor kid behind the counter jumped, flinging hot coffee all over the other two people back there who screamed holy hell. Rose spit her latte all over the back of a passing customer's purse, who didn't seem to notice.

"BELLA!" Rose squealed in delight, "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" They stood up and grabbed me in a group hug.

So I told them all the lovely details of the proposal, the tears, the Charlie-Edward man boob groping, all of it.

"Well, you know what this calls for don't you?" Alice said as we left and walked arm in arm in arm down Main Street.

"A really, really stupid no holds barred blow out??" I answered knowing what the answer was.

"You know it!" Alice and Rose said at the same time. I love my bitches.

"Definitely at my house," Alice's eyes were wide with excitement, "Anyone working tonite?"

"Not I" says I.

"Not I" says Rose.

"Tonite it is! Bella you and I are off to the Thriftway, meanwhile, I'll get on the phone and start calling people, Rose-you're in charge of blowing someone over 21 to do the liquor run. Meet back at my place. YAH FUCKING YAH!" Alice opened her little mouth and let out an ear splitting holler.

All of us whipped out our cells and called the guys. Edward had to work, but was getting off at 6:30, Jasper was tutoring a kid in Elizabethan Poetry until 7 and Emmett would be teaching his Krav Maga class at the Y until 6:45, but all would be at the party as soon as they could.

Alice and I were busy filling up our cart with snacks and sodas when I got a call from Steel Slyyt, the frontman from Van Helsing.

"Slyyt! Hey girl!"

"Bella, hey, you got a minute?"

"Sure, hey Slyyt, congratulations on getting signed...you guys are fucking awesome, we're really happy for you, bitch."

"Um..thanks Bella...hey, what are you doing tonite?" She laughed.

"Well, funny you should call, we're having a blow out at Alice's and you and the guys are fucking invited...so I'll see your asses around 6 ok?"

"Fuck ya! Want us to stop by the Liquor Mart?"

"Aww, that's why I love you! Ya, call Rose before she gives head to some lucky college geek."

"Oh shit! Ok-bye!"

Things were coming together for the party. I dropped Alice and the groceries off and headed home to change. Renee was in the kitchen, on the phone, a notepad in her hand, pacing furiously.

"Mother...Mother...please calm down, " Renee was yelling into the phone, "Look, I know I was 15 when I got ...no, Bella is not..." She put her hand over the mouthpiece and looked at me and whispered, "You're not are you ??"

"Not what?" I said drinking some oj out of the carton.

"Pregnant!" She whispered loudly, still holding the mouthpiece.

"No, Mom..." I rolled my eyes. She winked at me.

"Well, Mother, that's a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think? Yes you do, you know exactly what I mean Mother! No... No! What?? LOOK, MOM ..." She was shouting in the phone now, "YOU WERE FUCKING 14 WHEN YOU HAD ME SO SHUT THE FUCK UP! No, I'm sorry Mom...yes...I'll call you later, love you." She hung up the phone, sat down and collapsed on the kitchen table, "Thirty years later and she can still make me feel like I'm 6."

I laughed, "Wedding plans coming along?"

"So far, so good. I'll need a guest list from you and Edward, and your bridesmaids, maid of honor, Best man,ushers, groomsmen, that kind of stuff..and the date, I'll need a date as soon as you can. Have you and Edward talked about it yet?" She was scribbling on the notepad.

"Um. No. I'm spending the night at Alice's. I'll work on that for you when I get a chance."

"Ok, don't take too long, though, these things take planning you know." The phone rang. She grabbed her pencil and pad and was talking with I don't give a fuck who about I couldn't give a fuck less, so I went up the stairs. Vegas is looking better and better.

I shut my bedroom door and went to get my duffle bag out from under the bed.

Jacob Black was laying on my bed.

Oh fuck.

Before I could open my mouth to scream, he jumped up, slapped his huge hand over my mouth and yanked my hair back. He grabbed a scarf from my closet doorknob and shoved it tightly in my mouth, taking a black handkerchief out of his pocket and tied it in between my lips around the back of my head.

He pushed me roughly on the bed face down and tied my hands behind my back with some cord he had in his pocket. After he yanked my boots off, took my Bowie and stuck it in his knife sheath, he tied up my ankles. He turned me over and leaned over me, face to stupid face. He kissed my restrained lips while I struggled in vain.

Patience, Bella, patience. I told myself. Then Jacob Black is going to die.

I looked at him with hate in my eyes. His eyes...were soft... his face a gentle smile on it. Huh? He was stroking my hair like a lover.

"Bella..." His breathing was starting to pick up. Then he stood up, threw me over his shoulder and leaped out of my open window. He landed on the pads of his feet and took off running into the forest. He kept a hand on my ass to keep my from falling, but he glided smoothly through the brush and debris. He ran with me until the sun dipped low in the sky.

We were deep in the woods when we came to a clearing. A smouldering fire was outside of a small tent with room enough for two. He leaned me against a tree stump near the fire and started poking at the embers until they blazed up, then he stuck a couple of thick, dry logs on it.

Turning to me with a goofy smile on his face, Jake crawled over and sat next to me. He reached up and cut the tie restraining my mouth and I spit the scarf in my mouth out. He opened a canteen and held it to my lips to drink. My mouth was completely dry, so I drank. Be cool, Bella, be cool, I repeated to myself like a mantra to calm down.

"Jake? What are we doing here?" Trying not to make it sound like 'I don't care why we're here you're going to die.'

"Listen, Bells, I've had a lot of time to think while I was at camp." He snorted, "_Camp_, if that's what you want to call it." He looked away into the trees. "Ever see that movie 'Holes?' It was a lot like that, forced labor. It was awful. We got like 5 hours sleep tops, very little to eat and what we did get, was disgusting. They tried to break us. And for the most part it worked." He was looking down at his bare feet, "Some of us broke. Broke bad." He looked off into the trees again, far away.

"I had no idea, I heard it was like, some kind of Native American outdoor adventure camp in New Hampshire. You know, crafts, counciling, that kind of thing."

"Well, that's what they told our parents so they'd agree to send us. Quil and Embry didn't make it back, they're in a psycho ward in Nashua. Fuck, when I saw them, they were clinging to each other like monkeys or something. Damn, they couldn't even phase. Of course we got that idea zapped out of us the first couple of days. Anytime we got the least bit angry, our choke collars jolted us. Fucked us up. I don't know if I can phase anymore myself."

Jake looked like a scared little boy in a hulking big body.

"I'm sorry, Jake, I really am for the most part anyways. But what you were going to do to me...I'm not sorry." I said cautiously, trying to inconspicuously wriggle out of my wrist restraints.

"Well, I don't blame you, there, Bells," he sighed and then pursed his lips in thought, "But, I've come back to do it right. I didn't do it right the first time."

Oh fuck. This time there won't be any rescue. No one knew where I was. No one could hear me scream. I had no weapons, no cell.

"Jake, how 'bout you untie me? I don't know where the fuck we are, and I know enough about these woods that I'm not about to go out into them without knowing where I'm going." I put on my best friendly smile, "I think we really need to talk about this. I'd like to be friends with you, like we were when we were kids, remember?"

"Hm. Friends." He seemed to be thinking hard, "In any case, I don't think you'd be stupid enough to run. So ok. Come here." He lifted me onto his lap and started to untie the restraints around my wrists and then my ankles. He saw the bruises the ankle ties had made and started to rub my feet, "Geea, Bells, you're feet are freezing!"

He got up and went into the tent and came out with a thick quilt. He stood me up like I was a doll and wrapped it around me and then sat me down. He poked the fire and sparks flew up into the night sky. I was wondering about my girls, they must be worried about me by now.

"So," He stared at the fire, biting his bottom lip in concentration, "We're going to get married. That's what we're going to do. One of the elders on the rez is going to do it. I got it all arranged."

"Married," I stated, "We're going to get married."

"Yup. We're gonna move into Billy's until he kicks off, which should be soon. You'll pop out a few Jake Jr.s, about one a year and we'll be happy. Good plan, huh?" He looked at me with a big smile on his face. I felt like I was gonna barf.

"Sounds like you've got our whole future mapped out," I stuck a smile on my face, but inside I was praying for death. Then I thought of something, "Well, then, you wouldn't mind waiting until after we're married...you know...before we...um.." I looked down sheepishly.

"Cullen still hasn't closed the deal !?!" He was incredulous, "Fucking pansy-ass mama's boy! I knew it! Ha!" This seemed to amuse him to no end.

"Then you don't mind that I'm still a virgin and that I want to wait until we're married?" I thought about my Edward and I let a tear slide down my cheek. And the Oscar goes to...Bella Swan in "Jacob Black is a Stupid FuckWad."

"Wow, Bells," He put his arm around me, "Of course not, what kind of a fiance would I be if I didn't want my bride to be a virgin on our Wedding night." Huh? I don't even want to know on what planet that makes sense on.

"So, what are we doing here then?" I tried to sound lighthearted.

"I wasn't sure you'd go along with the plan, so I was planning on using some outside persuasion."

"Outside persuasion? Like, what?"

As if on cue, I heard the sounds of someone coming closer. The beam of a flashlight broke through the trees. Then he stepped into the clearing. By the light of the roaring blaze, I recognized Mike Newton's pasty face. Yup, I was definitely going to hurl.

"What the fuck? He is your outside persuasion?"

"Well," Jake looked at Newton and then leaned in to whisper to me, "I was going to give you the option of him or me. He thinks I brought you here so he could fuck you. But there's no doubt in my mind that you would've chosen me over that thing." He laughed.

"No doubt." I'm in a living nightmare where my choices are not good or evil but dweeb or dork.

"Ok, Black you can go now!" Newton sneered at Jake as he came around the fire and stood before us.

"There's been a change of plan, Newton," Jake sneered back, twirling a strand of my hair.

"I don't think so. Get the fuck away from her you red-skinned piece of garbage." Lame, very lame.

Jake stood up slowly, making sure that Newton got an eyeful of all 6 foot 7 inches of him, muscles flexing. "The lady has made a choice and it's not you, so fuck off, little boy!"

"LITTLE BOY???" Newton screamed so high-pitched I heard cats hissing in the distance. He whipped out a long bladed knife and swished it menacingly in the air.

Jake displayed his hunting knife and crouched low, and started circling.

"Jake, baby!" I called to him, "Throw me my Bowie, let's cut him up together!"

Jake seemed amused, laughing hugely and said "We're a team huh, Bells?"

"Like it was meant to be. You and me." I smiled, echoing his own words back to him.

"Here!" He tossed me the Bowie, which I caught easily.

We turned to Newton and a look of absolute terror spread all over his stupid face. He screamed like a little girl, pissed his khakis and flew into the woods.

Jake started laughing hysterically, turning to me in triumph. Jake didn't see it coming as I flung my Bowie knife with pinpoint accuracy, cutting through his throat, severing his windpipe and spinal cord. He gurgled for a bit, then fell forward into the blazing fire.

"I told you. I belong to Edward."

**A/N: Wow. What part of my frikken psyche did that come out of ?? Yipes! ****One down, one to go-wouldn't you agree you lovely Twilighters? **

**And by the way: ****OMC!! This story is approaching 400 reviews and 20,000 hits! GAH! Happy dancing in the moonlight over here! Thank you so much..Extra Love and Lemondrops for everyone!!!... BSL**


	17. Chapter 17: The Kill

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Seventeen: The Kill**

Two things that Jacob Black hadn't counted on: One: That I loved Edward Cullen more than life itself, so I would fight for that love until either he or I was dead and Two: That I, like he himself, grew up in the woods around Forks and La Push so I knew exactly where we were. He may have taken a long away around to try and get me lost, but essentially, we were two miles North East of the rez. So I ran into the forest towards the general store where there is a pay phone.

But, it was dark and cold now and my Bowie was skewered in Jake's cranium en flambe. I double backed to the camp to look around in the tent for any other weapons or provisions before I set off again.

First thing I came upon was Newton's flashlight and pig sticker he dropped along with the remains of his manhood on his way out. Entering the clearing I noticed the fire had died and I could no longer smell the stench of burning flesh. As I got closer, I saw that Jake's body was gone and there were drag gouges in the dirt leading away into the forest like someone or probably something dragged it away. Hm. I didn't know bears liked BBQ. I mused to myself.

I found my Bowie, still wet with Black blood and Jake's hunting knife. I entered the tent and checked out his knapsack. Inside I found some really disturbing shit. Alot of rope, disgusting human/dog porn magazines, some duck tape, rat poison, a can full of kerosene and a shovel.

Marry me, right. Maybe in hell. I shuddered to think what he really had in store for me and then said a quick prayer of thanks for having been Blessed with spot-on instincts. I would never have survived this night.

I grabbed the quilt, wrapped it around my shoulders and secured it with a length of rope. I cut out pieces of the canvas tent, duck taped them around my feet to keep them off the forest floor. Not stylish, but warm and practical. I tucked my Bowie, Jake's blade and Newton's pig sticker into my rope belt, slung the canteen over my shoulder and set out with the flashlight into the woods in the direction of the rez.

The loud, unmistakable growl of a bear called out just to the right of me through the brush. I was downwind, thank the stars. Then I heard a high pitched scream that was cut off suddenly into kind of a gurgling. Something whipped through the shrubs and landed at my feet. I jumped back, shone the light on it. It was Mike Newton. Well, it was part of him. His head, bit off cleanly and tossed aside by a bear that I was too close to. I high tailed it out as fast as my feet would carry me. Fuck!

If I were honest with myself, I didn't know who I felt more sorry for. Newton or the bear who was sure to have a stomach ache after ingesting the vile thing. The bear, definitely.

I jogged for a bit and then heard the sounds of hound dogs barking and men calling my name. Then, the most beautiful sound in the world. It was Edward crying my name.

"Edward! Edward I'm here!" I yelled and flew towards the voice of my very soul. I aimed my flashlight in front of me. I saw him running quickly to me, ducking around trees and calling "Bella! Oh my God! Bella!" We ran into each other's arms and he grabbed me up in his crying and kissing me all over my face, my neck, my head, my hands.

Charlie came up fast, tears streaming from his face when he saw I was alright.

"I'm fine, Dad, I'm ok." as soon as Edward let my lips free for a moment. Charlie wrapped his arms around the both of us.

We were joined by Angela's Dad and his hunting dogs. Even Jess and Lauren's Dads were there. And then the Newtons.

"Dad," I spoke softly, "Mike Newton's body is about a mile and half from here...a bear."

"Ok, I'll take care of it, you go home with Edward." He kissed my cheek. Then turning to the other men, "Sal, Bob, Frank, Tommy, bring your shotguns, we got a bear to go after. I'll radio the station to put out a man-eating bear warning."

I recognized Sam and Paul from the rez there with the group. They walked over to me, somber expressions on their faces..

"Jake's gone," I said to them.

"We know. And we're sorry for what's happened here. It's not our way." Sam spoke, looking at me in the eye.

"I know." I said and nothing more.

Edward re-wrapped the quilt around me like an eggroll, then picked me up and carried me out of the forest to his car, where there were clean, warm blankets and hot chocolate waiting for me in a thermos. Edward started the car and handed me his cell phone.

"Would you _please_ call your bitches before they gang rape me!" He laughed.

"Ha! Like you wouldn't just love that!"

"I might if I didn't know they would probably kill me in the process, and if they didn't, you surely would." He touched my cheek.

"Ha!" I looked at the cell clock, "One A.M.?? Shit! I missed the party!"

"There was no party, when you didn't show and Renee didn't see you leave, well we all gathered together to find you. We followed his stench, but it took us all up into the mountains all over the fucking place. Jsper and Emmett took off back to Forks to stay with the girls." Then he was silent, but his eyes, on the road ahead, were pained.

"Are you really fine?" He said softly.

"Yes."

"Did he...did he...touch you?" He said through clenched teeth, gripping the steering wheel.

"No Edward. He agreed to leave me a virgin until he and I got married." I laughed.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Edward listened in silence as I launched into the whole story about the kidnapping, the lies, the marriage plans, what was really in the tent, and then, as we were pulling up in front of my house, the killing of Jacob Black.

Just then Renee flew out of the house screaming my name. I opened the door and she tackled me against the car.

"I'm fine, Mom, really."

"I know, Dad called me, I'm just happy you're ok."

Edward came around and said, "Listen, Bella, I have to go meet up with Jasper and Emmett, I'll be back to tuck you in." He smiled and winked at me. He bent down and kissed me hard, his hands trailing down my back, to my hips, down to my ass.

"I love you," He whispered to my lips.

"I love you, Edward." I panted back.

Well, I slept the whole next day, woke up briefly to eat dinner and pee, then went back to bed. Renee told me Edward came over after school just to hold me while I slept. Knowing him, he probably did a lot more than just hold me. Dammit, I love that man.

The next morning, I woke up bright and early, showered and got ready for school. I met my girls out front in the parking lot of Forks High.

"Hey slut and sluttier!" I called out merrily.

"Hey fuckface!" Alice greeted me.

"Sperm breath!" Rose laughed.

"You dickfucks owe me a party!"

"Well," Alice put her hands on her hips,"If you can manage to hold off the drama for a night, Saturday is on."

"Tell the drama to leave _me _alone!" I pointed out.

"Speaking of...did you hear what happened last night?" Rose was serious now.

"What? I was snoozing."

"Newton's store burned down." Rose whispered.

"Porn or sports store?" I asked.

"Sports, and it was arson, not an accident," Alice stated.

Jessica and Lauren arrived at school and got out of Lauren's VW. I couldn't resist, Jess looked so lost and alone.

"So, Jess, " I said casually, leaning up against the wall, "Now that Newton's gone, who you gonna blow for spare change?"

She stopped. She turned. Pure hatred on her face. She let out a maniacal scream and lunged for my throat.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" She shouted trying to claw at me.

Rose had her in a head lock and was giving her noogies while she struggled in vain. Alice pantsed her, revealing her pink grandma panties to the world, then kicked her in the ass hard. At the same time, Rose let go allowing the full force of Alice's kick to send her flying into the wet street. Lauren ran to Jess to help her up.

"This isn't over Swan," Lauren spat out.

"Oh ya, it is." I laughed and the three of us went inside to our first class.

We met the guys at our table at lunch. They seemed pensive, distracted.

"Edward?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Come with me..." I knew how to be a bigger distraction.

"Bella..." He frowned as I took his hand and lead him into the ladies room. I saw feet under a stall.

"GET OUT!" I yelled . Gasp, flush, door opened, freshman ran out.

"Now, then," I hopped up on the counter, opened my legs and pulled him to stand between them, "Just what has the three of you so distracted and deep in thought?" I grabbed his firm, round ass, bringing him closer. I took his hand and placed it under my shirt.

He groaned and leaned in to kiss me, moving his hand up over my stomach. "Nothing, Bella, you're doing a good job at distracting me now," He started to kiss me down my neck, while his hands reached around and unbuckled my bra strap.

The door banged open loudly, making me jump.

"MR. CULLEN!!" Fucking hell it was my personal warden Mr. Banner the dickless. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE—COME OUT _NOW _!!"

Edward sighed, hooked my bra strap back together and helped me down.

"Go to the office Mr. Cullen." Then, turning to me, " I'm sorry to say I'm not surprised to see you here, Miss Swan." He shook his head.

"Ya know, Mr. Banner, why don't you make us all happy and go get laid??" I said over my shoulder walking away.

"MISS SWAN!!"

"I know, I know..office."

We were both ordered to wait while Renee was called in. Esme had asked my Mom to act as temporary guardian while they were in Alaska, should anything like this occur.

Renee came in, looked at the two of us, winked, and then sat down opposite Principal Diggler.

"Mrs. Swan, teenagers these days need strict parental supervision...blah blah blah...morality issues...blah blah blah ... promiscuity...blah blah blah...family values...yadda yadda yadda...maybe you should pay more attention to what these children are doing.."

Renee sat there, patiently tapping her foot, smiling politely until he finished. "Are you done?"

"Yes, I believe so, " Principal Diggler looked quite pleased with his fat ass.

"Well, that's a pretty speech, Dirk, but perhaps you're forgetting that you fucked _me_ behind the gym after band practice when we were 14! Not to mention, my sisters, my Aunt Judy and my whole women's hygiene class. And lest we forget, your pride and joy, Dirk Jr. was sent to Juvie three times for getting caught molesting himself outside the girls locker room! SO DON'T TELL ME ABOUT HIGH MORALS YOU FUCKING PERVERT! Come on kids," she said turning to Edward and me, "let's go-we have wedding plans to make!" She stood up, head held high and walked out.

"G'bye, Dirk," I giggled. Edward took my elbow and out we strolled, laughing our fool heads off.

"Honestly!" Renee exclaimed when we reached her car. "People in this town forget we were all horny teenagers together! Now, you two, follow me home, we have to settle a few plans right away."

Renee set a calendar before us and started making lunch for me and her. "Now you two pick a date. I've spoken to Esme and she and Carlisle can free up their schedules with just a few weeks notice. I've circled graduation here," she pointed to June 4th, "so we have the whole rest of June if you want to be a June bride, Bella." She said in a kind of sing-song wistful voice, clearly happy with that idea.

"I think that would be great, Mom."

She clapped her hands together once and her face was beaming, "A June Bride! Isn't it romantic?"

"Ok, Mom..." I laughed, "Edward?" I said turning to my beloved who was just looking at me like he had just won a prize. "Do you have any preferences for a date?"

"As long as you are to be my bride, I cannot possibly care, tomorrow is not too soon for me." He leaned over to me and kissed me softly, " I love you Bella Swan, I cannot wait to be your husband."

"Oh Edward..." Both Renee and I sighed at the same time. Then all three of us cracked up.

"How does June 21st sound? Summer solstice." Edward offered.

"Sounds good to me. Mom?"

"At Twilight?" She smiled.

"Perfect. A sunset ceremony." Edward agreed.

"Yes." I sighed, leaning back into Edward's arms, "Perfect."

"Well..." Edward stood and swept me up in his arms,"If you don't mind, Bella and I have some serious making out to do!" and with that he ran us up to my room. I heard Renee giggle with delight as he slammed the bedroom door.

Edward got dressed, kissed me and left for work around 5. I lounged around in bed for a while, then got up, grabbed my stuff and took a hot, steamy shower. Edward had a way of making me feel so light, so carefree. Like there was nothing we couldn't overcome.

When I came back in my room I had a message from Steel Slyyt to call her back. She was at the Pizzeria having dinner and wanted to know if I could join her. Alice and Rose were working tonite, so I could also spend some time with them too. Cool.

When I arrived, Slyyt was sitting in a booth talking to Alice. Slyyt looked like a seasoned rock star already. Black leather corset, little red velvet jacket, black leather micro mini, red suede thigh boots that I would kill for. Her long, platinum blond hair was in a loose braid down her back. Sigh. That's what it looks like to hit it big. If I were lez, I would make her my queen. Hehe. But then, Rose sauntered over to say hi. Even in her server outfit, she was a knock out and everyone, including Slyyt, paled sadly in comparison. Emmett worshipped her. Alice was no slouch either, second in beauty only to Rose.

"Hey cock masters!" I greeted.

"Hi bitch." "Slag." "Whore fuck." Was the warm greeting I got in return.

"Hungry Bella?" Alice asked, getting her pad out, "Or did Edward fill you up already?"

"Ha. Ha."

"Ya, Bells, it's on me tonite." Slyyt said to me.

"Ok," I looked at the menu, "I'll have the stuffed manicotti with meatballs and cheese."

"I'll have the lasagne with creamed spinach."

"Got it, I'll get your drinks. Be right back, skanks."

"Thanks, Alice!" Slyyt and I called out together.

"Ok, dick sucker," Slyyt said, eyeing me carefully, "I heard about Jake, weird, huh?"

"Oh ya. Weird doesn't cover it. So what's up?"

"Well, I know you know we got signed by Virgin-A Records...they booked us studio time next week. Well..." She bit a breadstick and chewed it slowly, looking around.

"That's cool, Slyyt." I said knowing something was coming.

"Well, we, the band I mean..."

"Yes...?"

"We want you to sell us the rights to "All Around Me." We want to record it for our first single." She said that fast.

"What?" I was a bit shocked. Conflicting thoughts and feelings flew about my brain. It was my song. My song to Edward. But, then again, this was a dream come true. My music is going to get heard. That's what's really important. It will always be my song to Edward, that won't change.

"Listen, Bells, you would be listed as the songwriter. You will get all the credit. And of course there's a very hefty royalty package my agent wants to offer your agent. Fuck Bella, you'll have to get an agent! Also, there's an oh,... what the fuck do they call it, fuck! It's like an upfront wad of money...not a retainer...oh fucking hell!" Then she started talking fast and excited, "Anyways, once the album is cut, and the single released, we start our tour. We already have a killer itinerary that includes Seattle, San Francisco, Fresno, Chicago, Boston, New York. We're gonna fucking open for Pearl Jam at Madison Square Garden. Can you fucking believe it?? Your song will be heard from one coast to another, Bella. It's going to happen!"

I was stunned. I was speechless. _Me_.

**A/N: Well..well..well...the vile Mike Newton's head became a bear's bowling ball. I think it's a fitting end. Like Mufassa tells Simba, "The antelope eats the grass, we eat the antelope, we shit in the grass – it's the circle of life..." or something to that affect. Anyways...on a less toothy note, my lovely Twilighters, you have made me so happy with your reviews and adds--over 56 reviews for the last chapter alone! OMC! Just for you, tomorrow I will write an extra special chapter...now, should it be action-packed or fluffy? Hm... what would Bella want?..Love and Lemondrops!...BSL**


	18. Chapter 18: Welcome to the Black Parade

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Eighteen: Welcome to the Black Parade**

I left the Pizzeria in a daze and the name of a couple of good agents that had shown an interest in representing me, according to Slyyt. Alice and Rose both informed me already that their future plans didn't include the band; they were leaving for Denali shortly after my wedding. And it's not that the band was as important as the music. We were just a garage band.

I invited Slyyt home to mess around in the garage and play her the music for the song on the keyboard. I hadn't committed to giving her the song as yet, but I was excited at the prospect. She followed me in her 65 Corvair convertible down the winding streets of Forks to the outskirts of town where we lived. Renee's car was gone, it was her parole officer pee-in-a-cup check in-day in Port Angeles.

Something looked weird as I pulled up. The garage door looked like someone took a sledgehammer to it. Fuck. I pulled up on the rope and the door crashed to the ground in a loud, metallic thud. Fuck fuck fuck. The whole garage was thrashed. My guitars, the keyboard, Alice's drumset, even Rose's new Shure mic was pulverized beyond recognition. Slyyt just stood there, mouth open, trembling.

"Slyyt" I spoke loud so she would hear me the first time,"Go home, I'll call you later."

Then I got on the phone and called Charlie, who came with lights and sirens blazing, along with Deputy Sheriff Mark, who took pictures of the crime scene. Charlie and Mark drew their guns and went inside the house. They came out about 20 minutes later.

"It's clear, looks untouched," Charlie said to me, holstering his pistol, "I closed and locked your window, Bella, you really shouldn't leave it open, it's like throwing money out the window with the heat on and all. Listen, are Alice and Rose home?"

"No, they're working late tonite, why?"

"I'm going back to the station," He scratched his head and smoothed out what was left of his hair and spoke, "anyone home at Edward's? I don't want you to be here. I'm going to call Renee and tell her to get a hotel room up in Port Angeles for the night until I can secure this garage later on."

"I'll call him, you go back to the station, Dad, I'll go to the Pizzeria." I got in my truck, "I'll let you know where I am, ok?"

"Ok, Bells, Gee I'm glad you weren't home. Whoever did this didn't leave much intact." He hugged me through the window and watched me drive away.

When I got to the Pizzeria, Edward, Jasper and Emmett were sitting in a booth way in the back with their heads close together discussing something. From the frowns and tight lips I would say it was pretty serious. Rose saw me come in from Table #3. She and Alice, who saw me from the kitchen, grabbed my arms and took me into the girls room.

"Listen, something's going on. The guys have been whispering like this for a while now." Rose stated quietly.

"The night Jake grabbed you, Jasper and Emmett took off for a couple of hours. Then after were found safe, the three of them met on the outskirts of the rez." Alice continued, "Rose and I followed them. They snuck into the rez itself, like, crawled on their bellies at one point."

"Ya, they were looking in windows and shit. We had to go, someone was coming up the road. Someone in a big truck, but we couldn't see what it was. We almost got popped." Alice said.

"Did you ask the guys what was going on?" I asked, wide eyed, "Does this have something to do with Newton's (we all spit on the floor at the mention of his name, this became our ritual) store burning down? And my garage??"

"We did ask them," Rose started and then, "Wait. What about your garage??"

"Someone trashed the garage! All of our equipment has been fucking destroyed."

"WHAT??" Rose and Alice screamed at the same time. The bathroom door flew open and all three guys rushed in. They were all tensed and ready to kill. The look on their faces was...well funny. The three of us cracked up.

Edward tried to be cool..."So, um..Bella. How ya doin'?" He leaned up against the wall.

That just made us laugh again. But then, "Edward, my garage and all of the equipment has been thrashed."

The three boys looked at each other and then Edward spoke. "I want the three of you to go to the Mansion. Lock the doors and stay there until we get home. Don't answer the door. Don't go outside you got it? Do you hear me Bella? Will you please do as I ask?"

"Listen, Edward." I took a breath. He needed a serious reality check. "We've been taking care of ourselves pretty well for 18 years now. As you may recall, I've been serving you back your nuts on a platter since you moved here."

"Yes and you've been dining on them ever since." He smirked.

"Ha. Ha. If anyone can get to the bottom of this it's us." The three of us stood together, arms folded across our chests, "We are not damsels in distress."

"Or little helpless femme chicks." Alice said, a scowl on her face.

"We may be beautiful, but we are _definitely _not delicate." Rose stated almost fiercely.

"No one is going to accuse you of being delicate, that's for damn sure." Emmett laughed. Rose hissed at him.

"Then stop treating us like you're our protectors or some shit like that. We don't need protecting. We need to find out what the fuck is going on, who is doing it, use him as a pin cushion and get on with life again. Do you dig me Cullen?" I was in his face now , neither of us backing down.

"NO," Edward looked at me, saw my resolve, and turned to his brothers who were nodding in agreement, "We do this alone. You will just have to sit this one out."

That was it. Who was he to tell me what my place was? This was about more than just him being all macho and shit. He really didn't think we were capable, at least that's what it sounded like to me. If I didn't love him so much and he wasn't made of granite, I would've stuck him in the gut.

"You've got to admit, Edward, when the three of them are changed, the six of us are going to be a mighty force to be reckoned with." Jasper laughed.

"He hasn't asked me to spend eternity with him yet, Jasper." I said through clenched teeth glaring right at Edward, "and it seems that the prospects for that happening are getting slimmer and slimmer as we speak."

Oh fuck. The look on Edward's face. The pain I saw in his eyes for a brief fleeting moment before they became hard, unemotional glass. He backed up and turned to Alice and Rose, his jaw clenched tightly.

"I'm going to talk to Sal about letting you girls go home early. Katie is on and it's dead out there. Go straight to the Mansion, Alice, don't stop at your house to get anything. Ok?"

Everyone except Edward was staring at me with their mouths open. Clearly shocked at my stupidity. Oh, but I could be much more stupider than that because in my embarrassment and ok, my shame of having spoken in anger I snapped,

"Fuck you Cullen you arrogant asshole. We don't need you to change our diapers for us!"

Obviously he had had enough and turned to me with the look of murder sprinkled with pain twisting his beautiful features.

"You know if you would just stick to sucking my dick with that mouth instead of talking we'd get along just fine!"

"I don't think you're going to have that particular pleasure for quite a while." I spat back.

"Children! Children!" Jasper interrupted, "We can discuss your sex life, or future lack of it or so it seems, later. Right now, let's go talk about what we know. I think the girls are right, that we need to be working together as a team." He held out his hand to Alice, smiling into her eyes. Alice visibly melted, a big grin spreading over her face as she took Jasper's hand and came to him.

"Rose," Emmett held out his big hand to Rose who smiled. She took his hand, he twirled her around once like they were at a dance and then into his arms. The four of them left the ladies room together.

Edward and I just glared at each other.

"After you," He said between clenched teeth, holding the door for me.

"Drama Queen..." I muttered under my breath.

"Stubborn Hard ass." He muttered back.

"Hmph!" I walked out and found my girls and their boys at table #15, which is a long booth and seats 5 on each side. Edward and I sat opposite each other, still glaring. I could see this was going to get really stupider before it got better.

"Ok. This is what we know." Jasper started talking, "Quil and Embry escaped from the asylum a couple of nights ago. They have been stashed away in one of the houses on the rez. We think they're behind the crime spree, but we're not positive at this point."

The three of us gasped. Edward briefly smirked an 'I told you so' look my way. I spit on the floor. Ha! I wasn't aiming for it, but a little bit landed on his boot. Edward growled at me. An exasperated sigh came from Rose and Alice. Jasper and Emmett rolled their eyes and smiled.

"Listen, you two," Emmett scowled and raised his voice, still whispering, " Cut the crap, NOW. This is serious. We're dealing with two certified psychos and you've yet to hear the worst part."

"What?" I snarled.

Edward spoke. "Jacob Black is still alive."

**A/N: Ok! Ok! Put away the hangin' rope! Yes! I resurrected Jacob Black. I just didn't think his death was painful enough! HAHAHAHAHA! Review! Love me? Hate me? Awww. I love all you lovely, lovely Twilighters! Sorry this took so long...I had to work and then I was struggling with the fluff...so that will come in a bit! Love and Lemondrops...BSL**


	19. Chapter 19 : Heaven Beside You

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter 19: Heaven Beside You...Alice In Chains**

"Edward..." I choked out, reaching for his hand across the table. Now I was scared.

He got up and started to come over, but I was quickly descending into freak out mode. I stood up abruptly and got out of the booth.

"NO!!" I slammed the point of my Bowie into the top of the table. "I stuck him with this-right in the throat. I saw him fall face first into a roaring fire! He's dead! He's dead! I killed him!!"

I ran out of the Pizzeria in a blind panic. I got in my truck and started it. Edward opened my door.

"Bella.." He said softly reaching in, turning the key and shutting off the engine.

"Edward! He can't be alive. He can't be." Tears were threatening to spill. Shit! I was such a girl.

He turned me so my legs faced him and got between them. I let him hold me, comfort me. There haven't been many times that I've been scared out of my wits. For the most part I'm cool in a crisis, in control of the situation. But this...this knocked me for a loop. I didn't like the situation to feel so out of my control. I felt helpless. I felt...I felt Edward feeling me up.

His lips were trailing kisses up and down my neck around the front to my throat. His right hand was under my shirt, his left was making its way up my skirt.

"Edward..." I was breathing rapidly now. I laid back on the bench seat as Edward did a lovely job of distracting me.

We eventually made it to the Mansion where the others were waiting.

"I take it from the level of Bella's disheveled-ness and that goofy grin on Edward's face, you two made up?" Jasper laughed gesturing towards us.

"Geez-where did you get kicked out of now?" Alice giggled.

"Na, we were in the back parking lot in my truck..I'm sure no one was around...well, actually, I don't actually know if anyone was around..I didn't care either...OH!" I exclaimed, feeling my ass.

"What?" Edward was curious as to why I was frisking myself.

"My panties!"

"Fuck!" Edward closed his eyes, "They're on the ground next to where the truck was parked!"

Alice and Emmett giggled. Well, Alice giggled, Emmett snorted loudly.

Jasper got up and started pacing as we all got comfy on the couches. "We spotted Quil and Embry first, 2 days ago. They seemed pretty messed up, even for them. We've been keeping tabs on them as much as we could. The night Black kidnapped Bella, the night of the party, we just happened to all be working, unfortunately, leaving you girls unprotected. That is an error that shall _never _occur again, I give you my word of honor." He leaned over and stroked Alice's cheek.

Edward and Emmett stood up next to Jasper, putting their hands over their hearts they stated all together and in absolute seriousness, "Upon our word of honor, upon penalty of death, we will never leave you unprotected again."

"Edward," I began, getting ready to protest.

"Bella, you are my mate. I am going to protect you with my life. Protest is futile." He gestured towards the three of them, "As your mates, we are sworn to defend your honor." Edward said firmly. Jasper and Emmett nodded to my girls.

Ok, things just went from weird to weirder in our little circle. Well, I suppose a girl from a small town could do a helluva lot worse than having a gorgeous vampire as her defender.

The guys settled back down. Emmett continued with the story.

"The night of the kidnapping, Jasper and I were at the rez as soon as we suspected some shit was happening. Edward joined Charlie and the search party. We saw a big truck pull up to the rez. Quil and Embry unloaded something big that was wrapped up in moving blankets. We got closer, peeked in the windows and saw the Tribal Elders gathered around, chanting and doing some kind of ceremony as they opened up the blankets."

"Did you see what was in the blankets?" Rose asked.

"It was him wasn't it?" I said.

"Yes," Edward continued, "But he was really fucked up. He was burnt over 90 percent of his body, all of his hair was gone, his face was featureless for the most part. They had him on a table and Sam Uley was sewing his neck up with leatherwork tools. God it was gross! The Elders brought in a horse trough filled with some kind of orange goo; they picked him up, emersed him in it and then started scraping his burnt clothes off his burnt skin. If I could've barfed I would have."

"You said he was alive?" Alice's face was scrunched up and green. Jasper guided her to lay down on the couch until her head was resting in his lap. He gently rubbed her back.

Jasper answered, "Well, no human could have lived through that, that's for sure. You did a fuck-of-a-job on him Bella, I'll give you that! If he's alive, it's certainly going to take a while before he's functional. But with the extent of his wounds, it's hard to say if he will in fact be fully functional. In the meantime, it's time to deal with Quil and Embry in a more permanent fashion. But, for tonite, all is quiet. Charlie took them in and right now, they're behind bars pending questioning."

My eyes widened. "Oh," I let out a sigh in relief, "Alright then. We can relax for now."

"Absolutely. So, you and Alice are our guests for a while and I think a drink is called for." Edward got up and held out his hand to help me up, leading me into the kitchen.

Alice and Rose left to change out of their uniforms. Jasper and Emmett picked up the Xbox game controllers and started battling each other. In the kitchen, Edward went into a cabinet and got a tray with 3 dozen shot glasses on them. He went to another cabinet and got out 6 bottles of liquor: Absolut, Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo, Bailey's, Bicardi, and Boone's Farm. Separating the shot glasses into rows of six, he poured 6 shots of each bottle, then transferred them to the kitchen island and put them in a big circle, alternating the shots.

I watched in fascination as he did this all so fast, I didn't even get a chance to ask if he needed a hand.

Alice and Rose came in and sat on a couple of the bar stools. I eyed them curiously. They were wearing an unusually large amount of clothing for being inside the house. Jasper and Emmett came in, taking seats next to them. Edward and I sat down.

"Ok, kiddies...What should we play? "Flip, Sip or Strip." "Fuck Me," or "My Vagina/My Penis?" Edward rubbed his hands together looking at the circle of drinks before us.

"I think we should start with Flip, Sip or Strip, and then progress to Fuck me or My V or P. I've got the quarters, you've got the shots ready, let us begin." Alice decided, digging the change out of her purse.

So, we flipped our quarters at the same time, easily catching them. Alice and I had heads, the rest had tails, so Alice and I got to choose sip or strip. We chose sip and downed our first shots. She got Jack, I got Absolut. Nice way to start. Next time we would have to take a piece of clothing off. Next flip, Jasper and I lost. I took off a boot, Jasper downed a shot of Jose.

The next shot was Boone's Farm which is a really cheap Strawberry wine. I chanted over my quarter...win win win. Fuck. I chugged the Boone's Farm, Edward got Absolut.

This went on for a half an hour. I was in my Navy blue lace bra and a pair of green and blue plaid flannel boxers that Edward lent to me earlier. Alice was in her pink thong and a cropped t shirt, Rose was wearing only her long sleep t shirt that barely covered her, Emmett was in his tight red t shirt and orange briefs, Jasper was in his yellow wife beater and Sponge Bob boxers and my lovely lovely Edward, was wearing only his tight tight black boxer briefs. You know, I'm so glad girls don't have penises. At least when we're aroused, we don't display a big flag for everyone to see. Because all three men were flying their colors.

The shots were gone, we were feeling very giggly.

"Now it's time for "Fuck Me!" Alice giggled. Edward and Emmett began refilling the shot glasses.

"Ok", Alice said, "Everybody pick a fuck name."

"I'll be Tittie Fuck," Rose giggled.

"I'll be Face Fuck," Alice cracked herself up.

"I'll be Hard Fuck," I chimed in.

"I'm Ass Fuck," Emmett laughed.

"I'm Deep Fuck," Jasper drawled. His southern accent getting thicker as the night progressed.

"I'll be Skull Fuck," Edward said boldly. "oooooo" we all said and cracked up.

"Ok, Alice, start us up!" Jasper said to his beloved.

"Alright," Alice sang out, "Everybody fuck me!" So we all started to beat the table, yelling fuck me and clapping. Thump(fuck), thump(me), clap clap. Thump thump, clap, clap.

"Face Fuck, Face Fuck better than a Tittie Fuck"

"Tittie Fuck, Tittie Fuck better than a Hard Fuck." Rose sang out.

"Hard Fuck, Hard Fuck Better than a Crack Fuck," I sang proudly. Everyone cracked up.

"Not _Crack _Fuck you shit bag!" Alice corrected, "Take a shot!"

Damn. I daintily took the shot of Jack and threw it back. Woa.

"Everybody Fuck Me!" I sang out, "Hard Fuck! Hard Fuck! Better than a Skull Fuck!"

"Skull Fuck! Skull Fuck! Better than a Face Fuck!" Edward sang out.

"_Ass _Fuck not _Crack_ Fuck---Ooooh!" I giggled and lost the beat of the game, "Bugger!".

"HAH! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!" The group chanted. And down the Bicardi went.

"Shit! Ok, ok..."Hard Fuck, Hard Fuck, better than a Face Fuck," I sang proudly.

"Face Fuck, Face Fuck better than a Dick Fuck...NO! Deep not Dick!"

This went on until once again we all drained the shot glasses. Alice, Rose and I then treated everyone to a sparkling drunk rendition of "Closer to God" by Nine Inch Nails, the three of us bumping and grinding each other's asses, garnering a raging flag salute from the guys. Then we segued into "I Don't Know How to Love Him," from Jesus Christ Superstar which we did with our arms around each other and then finished with "Kyle's Mom's A Bitch," which, of course, Eric Cartman sang in the South Park Movie. The guys sat there on the couch, cracking up, enjoying the sight of all three of us in various states of undress, singing our hearts out like idiots. By the time we were done, my girls and I were rolling on the floor cackling like morons.

"Ok," Edward got up, wiping tears from laughing so hard from his eyes, "Time to put the ladies to bed." He swept me up in his arms and carried me up the stairs.

"Edwee? Are you going to make love to me?" I asked, licking and biting his throat.

Edward let out a sexy growl and laid me on his bed. "Edwee huh?" He laid on top of me, spreading my legs with his knees, running kisses across my throat. Oops, did I say that out loud?

"Well, Bellwee," he laughed into the hollow of my neck, "The guys and I are going to the rez to keep an eye on things."

"Right now?" I said running my hands up and down his back, my body responding below his.

"Well, maybe not right at this moment.." he had a sexy grin on his face as his lips touched mine, his tongue begging entry into my mouth. He rolled me over gently til I was on top of him. His left hand grabbed a handful of my hair and brought me closer to him, his right hand trailing down my back. With a flick of his finger, my bra was unhooked.

Edward, Jasper and Emmett met in our room an hour later. I wrapped myself in the sheet and walked Edward to the front door. When we got to the door, Edward took me in his arms, touched my cheek and ran his finger over my lips.

"Should I be worried about you, my love?" I touched his face, looking into his eyes.

"No, Bella, never worry about me, I'll be fine. Make sure you lock yourselves in. We won't be long." He bent down and kissed my lips and then, he was gone.

**A/N: Why does my fluff always turn to sex?? Hm...makes me wonder. Oh well! Hope you liked the chapter! I needed to give them a little rest from the drama, but...Bella, being the danger magnet that she is...Well...she's in for a bumpy ride and a certain Wolf pack is going to provide the bumps. (A note within the note: The Cullens don't get drunk, per se, but they do get very relaxed when they drink.) And as Newton's (everybody spit!) blood cries out from the grave for vengeance...who will take up his cause?? Ah...lovely Twilighters...so many questions...And may I just say this about all the wonderful wonderful reviews and adds: W-O-W !!!!!**

**Review and let me know how you're doing!...Love and Lemondrops...BSL**


	20. Chapter 20: Gotta Get Away

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Twenty: Gotta Get Away...The Offspring**

Rose came down and punched a code into a recessed panel on the wall and huge metal shutters descended over the windows and doors. The three of us went to the bedrooms in an effort to sleep off the evening. There was a glass of water on the nightstand next to the bed. I reached for it, but dropped it on the carpet, spilling its contents. Fuck it. I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours before I got up and got dressed.

I got on my cell to call Edward, but got no signal. Damn metal shutters, blocking the reception. So I got on the land line in the kitchen. Hm..no dial tone. The lights began to flicker. I went to the junk drawer and pulled out the flashlight there. The lights flickered a couple more times then went out. I ran up the stairs to Rose's room. She was snoring loudly.

"Rose! Get up!"

No answer. But a very loud metallic ripping sound came from the front of the house. SHIT! With the power out, the shutters were useless.

"ROSE! GET UP NOW!!"

She turned over and snorted, then went back to snoring. Fuck! I looked at the empty glass next to her bed. There was a powdery substance sticking to the sides. That's when I heard it. A wolf's howl. It was so loud I couldn't tell whether it was inside or out. I ran to the guest room. Her bed was rumpled, but Alice was gone. The same powdery substance was on the drinking glass next to the bed. I ran back to Rose; I was going to drag her down the stairs with me. She was gone. I began to shake. Whatever took them was still in the house.

I got out my Bowie and flew down the stairs. The front door was wide open. I surveyed the room and saw nothing. Panicking now, I ran out the door and into my truck. Still no one. I kicked up rocks and headed to the Police Station.

I got on my cell and called Edward.

No answer. Shit.

I called Jasper's cell.

No answer.

I called Emmett's cell.

No answer.

I called Charlie's private line at the station.

No answer.

I called home.

No answer.

I called the main number at the station.

No answer.

I called Esme in Alaska.

"Hello?" Thank God she answered!

"Esme! This is Bella.." I was panting and my voice was an octave higher than usual.

"Bella, what is wrong. What happened." Statements, calmly spoken.

I told her all I knew about Alice and Rose being missing, not being able to reach anyone on the phone, the Jake/Newton (spit) problem, the garage thrashing. Carlisle got on the phone.

"Where are the boys?" He asked, calmly yet anxiously.

"That's the thing, Carlisle. I don't know I can't get them on their cells."

"Neither can I. I was attempting to call them while you were talking to Esme. I can't get your Dad either or anyone at the station for that matter. My God Bella! Why didn't anyone tell me what was going on?" He raised his voice a bit, but got control quickly, "We are the strongest when we are a family. Esme and I will be on the next plane home. This is what I want you to do."

"I want you to drive to the airport in Port Angeles and wait for us there. We are already in the car. Esme has arranged us seats on the next flight from Fairbanks on Alaska Airlines."

I was driving, I don't know where I was going. I drove towards Port Angeles, maybe my Dad had joined my Mom at the Port Angeles Inn. My mind was going in a million different directions as I tried to make sense of what was happening. _Where was Edward_? _Where was my Edward?_

"Bella? Are you listening?"

"Yes, Carlisle, I'm just a bit freaked out."

"Of course you are. But let me tell you, this family has been through much worse than this and we have survived. It's just a lot of unanswered questions. But when we arrive, the three of us will figure it out. I need you to stay calm. I know it seems like an impossible situation right now. But you're no good to Edward or anyone else if you fall apart. Do you understand? We all need you to hang in there and be strong. Do you think you can do that, Bella, honey?"

"Ok." I was crying now. Where is Edward? Is he hurt? Where are my girls? Why did whoever is doing this leave me alone?

"Bella," Carlisle's voice was tender, "We'll be there before the sun rises. That's only a couple of hours from now. Try to keep safe until then. Go to the airport and wait near the security portals, the uh..metal detectors. Stay there and don't move. We will find you. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I'll wait for you by the metal detectors at the airport." I repeated, wiping my nose on a napkin.

"Esme wants to talk with you. We love you, Bella. We will find out what is going on together, have no fear of that."

"Bella," Esme was calm, "Have you tried to get in touch with your Mom? I tried her at the hotel, but she checked out already. We're going through some mountains, so we may get cut off...Listen, dear, don't worry about anything. We will be there soon. "

"Checked out? In the middle of the night?" If this was in Renee's drinking days, I would just have chocked it up to the fact that she probably found a party or a warm bed elsewhere for the night. Maybe Charlie got her and they went somewhere else. Frik. Too many questions.

"...B...lla...we...going out of range...Love...oo..." and then the phone went dead.

Fabulous. Now I really felt alone. It was around 3 A.M. When I pulled into the parking lot at Port Angeles Airport. It was pretty much empty except a for a few cars. I had to leave the Bowie and my taser in the truck, but I kept my stiletto pig sticker in my bra.

I locked up the truck, looked around and ran flat out for the automatic doors. They opened. There were no guards at the metal detectors. Fuck.

"Fuck Fuck Fuck!" I screamed.

"BELLA! BELLA!" It was Edward yelling my name.

"EDWARD WHERE ARE YOU??" I was screaming at the top of my lungs, running, running. I couldn't find him. The airport was empty, my footsteps echoing off the walls.

"Bella!" Edward called. Something grabbed me, shook me. ACK! It was Edward. What??

"Bella, Love, it was a dream, you're safe, you're here in my arms." Edward was holding me tightly to his bare chest. I blinked furiously. He kissed the tears from my cheeks.

"Oh! Edward!" I whimpered weakly, clinging to his broad, firm shoulders.

"That must have been one strange dream. You were calling my name and yelling fuck! The only thing wrong with that is that you weren't yelling 'fuck me, Edward!' " He laughed and my heart slowed down to normal. My nipples were rubbing against his beautiful, sculpted chest through my bra, getting hard.

"Fuck me Edward," I breathed.

And he gratefully obliged.

**A/N: I'll be hiding in my closet if you need me...put away your Bowies and chains please! Hang in there with me! Love you Twilighters! Review! **

**Love and Lemondrops...BSL**


	21. Chapter 21 : Cold Hard Bitch

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Twenty-One: Cold Hard Bitch...Jet**

**Disclaimer: I am just a wanderer traveling this Earth, the fair Lady Stephenie owns Twilight and I own nothing. My soul belongs to my Edward, wherever he may be.**

I took a cue from my dream and asked Edward if he would call Carlisle and tell him what was going on here. We couldn't live like prisoners in the Mansion, although waking up with Edward holding me was quite addicting. We had to unite and be a family. People were getting hurt, killed. Esme and Carlisle were flying in into Port Angeles tonite.

Meanwhile, with Quil and Embry in the pokey, we weren't expecting the next bit of news. Charlie called in the morning to check in with me and then asked to speak with Alice. I brought the phone into Alice and Jasper's room and let them have privacy.

Alice came into our room in kind of a stupor, her eyes glazed over. "It's gone." Was all she said, "It's all gone." She gave the phone back to me and then she went back into the guest room and laid down.

Jasper came in and shut the door. "Alice's house burned down last night." He whispered, "I don't want to leave her alone, she's in shock." He left quietly, closing the door behind him.

Emmett and Rose came in and sat on the bed. "What are we going to do?" Rose whispered. She looked at me with a stern look. "We gotta do something, Bella. You know how this is going to end." She looked at me and then to Edward and back to me.

I got up, clothed only in Edward's ivory button down shirt and went to the window. The shutters were lifted when the boys got home. I looked out onto the swaying, green tree tops and the misty covered mountains. So beautiful. I pursed my lips. Felt my resolve building.

"I'm going to the Rez." I stated plainly, firmly.

"No way!" Emmett's voice boomed in disapproval.

"It's the only way to make it stop." Rose agreed with me. She and I have been together for a long time. She knows the rules of engagement in a war. And this was definitely war. "We're dealing with out of control boys. They haven't gotten the point that they are fucking with the wrong people."

"We go to meet them." I turned around.

Edward's face was ...shit, he was pissed. His beautiful lips were thinned to a scowl, his eyebrows knitted into a deep frown. His jaw was tense, his arms were crossed over his chest. He was standing like he was about to throw himself in front of me should I bolt for the door.

"Edward, the rules of war state you do not wait for the enemy to come and find you. You go to meet him. I'm going to the Rez. I'm going tonite. I'm not going to cower inside this beautiful prison and hope it all magically goes away. He's not going to stop. He's never going to stop." I closed the space between us. Reaching up to touch his cheek, I said tenderly,"I love you. You are my heart, my soul. I can't live without you. If he can't get to me..." Anguish choked the words in my throat.

Edward turned and kissed the palm of my hand. A tear slid slowly down the corner of his eye. I caught it with my finger and put it in my mouth.

"Mmmm..." I smiled, "Venom."

He laughed once and smiled at me, although his eyes still held the agony of my decision.

"Look, we'll dress for battle. Nothing less than a 20 gauge on me and my girls. A taser in each boot. Poison tipped throwing stars. I'll wear frikken body armor, for Christ's sake. Anything to make you feel better. Wait, if I can get in my Dad's safe, he's got a 45 magnum." I turned to Rose, my little thief.

"I'll get on it as soon as your Dad leaves for work." Rose stated, "Should we arm the truck with the roof mounted Gatling gun?"

"That wouldn't be a bad idea. Hey! What ever happened to that grenade launcher that we took down the water tower with last year?"

"Ah...yes, my Captain! It's still in Alice's trunk, last time I looked. I believe we still have one grenade left too." Rose was bouncing up and down on the bed in excitement, "We should mount it in the back of the truck bed, that way we can say good-bye properly!"

Edward and Emmett just stared, jaws dropped slightly, eyebrows arched.

"Let's go Emmett!" Rose ordered, "I've got to release some of this energy and you are going to help me!" She threw her head back and laughed maniacally. Emmett just followed like a good minion. He closed the door behind him.

I hopped up on the bed, actually happy at my decision. Edward clearly was not. He sat next to me, and took my hand, looking down at our entwined hands.

"Edward..." I laid him back on the bed and straddled his middle. "This is nothing to worry about. I admit I was scared yesterday for a while, but I had some time to think about it and you know, my girls and I have been through something like this before, but with a slightly different species."

I leaned over and started kissing his neck from his collarbone to his earlobe. He held onto my hips and moaned quietly. I trailed wet kisses over his Adam's apple to his other ear lobe which I took in between my teeth and bit. He growled low. His body was responding even if his mind was occupied.

"Bella," his voice was rough, "I can't let you girls go alone. I can't go on the rez though, if I break the treaty, it's war and Forks will be in the middle." He unbuttoned his shirt on me and kissed me from my collarbone and proceeded lower.

"I believe," I panted, "war has been duly declared and Forks is already suffering. Battle lines have been drawn. People are choosing sides."

He tried to turn us over, but I stopped him.

"Relax, my love, let me do the work tonite." I murmured into the hollow of his neck.

After Charlie left for work, Rose and I went about securing my truck for battle. Alice and Jasper went to the airport to pick up her Mom and Carlisle. They would be dealing with the police and insurance matters, stuff like that and then meet us around lunch time at the Mansion. Edward would not leave my side, even to the extreme of waiting for me outside the bathroom. Oh brother.

I went under my bed, well, I attempted to, but Edward thought I should just stay bent over for a while. Geesh, he's insatiable...it's one of his endearing qualities.

"Edward, darling, " I laughed as he lifted the back of my skirt, "we've got work to do."

"In a minute, love, in a minute." I love that man.

Well, after a couple of interruptions..ahem..I finally was able to get the trunk out from under my bed. I opened the long rectangular box's lid and smiled at my old friends. Three sets of one piece black thigh, shoulder, ass and chest protecting body armor, crossed reverse shotgun holsters, leather strapped thigh accommodating quick release weapons holders, fresh tasers, 3 pairs of steel toed boots, 3 pairs metal mesh meat cutter's (anti-teeth) gloves lined in fleece and covered with black leather, anti assault helmets with night vision goggles.

I sighed in appreciation of the beauty of it all.

"I'm impressed. Is it comfortable?" Edward asked, picking up the one-piece.

"Oh, totally. It fits like a second skin. It's light and the material breaths."

"Put it on...let me see you in it?" He said with a wicked grin.

I started getting undressed to Edward's enjoyment.

Rose stuck her head in the door. "Hey! You got the armor out, cool. Let me grab mine while I'm here."

"I think we should put it on now, before we go meet Esme." I said, "I'll pack Alice's set for when we see her."

"Good idea, Captain," Rose winked, grabbed her gear and went to the bathroom to change.

When I was done slipping on the one-piece, the boots and the gloves, Edward was sitting back against the bed, just staring in awe and lust. I stood in front of the full length mirror on my closet door, adjusting the suit. I French braided my hair and clipped the hanging braid in a circle to my head. I looked myself over..."Hm! Still fits snuggly. Cool."

"I'll say it does. Hey, what's this?" He was pointing to the row of silver snaps starting below my bellybutton area and ending at the small of my back.

"It's so you will expose yourself as little as possible when you have to have an in the field human moment." I answered matter of factly, knowing full well what was coming next.

But of course, he wanted a demonstration, which meant he unsnapped all of the snaps to see if it would accommodate his fleshly intrusion. Oh boy, it sure did.

A very naughty male laugh and a sexy female giggle told me that Emmett was enjoying the suit on Rosalie as well.

I covered my suit with somewhat loose fitting khakis and a black long sleeved t shirt. I packed a duffle bag with Alice's gear and another long one with my helmet, weapons, etc.

Rose opened the safe easily and I shoved Charlie's 45 into the ass holster, Rose had Charlie's baretta in hers. The shotguns, the tasers, and other stuff went into the duffle. I stashed the not as yet tipped stars in my tit flaps, and shoved a bunch in the duffle. Edward looked at me proudly and I smiled back.

"Edward?" I asked, curious about something.

"Yes, love?"

"Do you ever wish you'd fallen in love with someone more...girly? I mean, you know, someone who doesn't know how to throw a star with dead on accuracy or doesn't even know what body armor is?" I asked sheepishly, sticking my sheathed Bowie in my pants.

"You mean someone more at home in aprons and make up? Someone who will worship me? No, Bella, if the gods came to me and said I could design a girl for me to love, it would have been you, my darling. I worship you. I love that you are tough, independent, smart, beautiful and a warrior. I love that you are with me, that even though I'm a pompous ass, you love me. Even though I don't deserve you whatsoever, you love me. I want you to live with me for all eternity. Bella..." He crossed the room and sunk down to one knee at my feet and took my hands in mine.

"Bella, my dearest love, will you please spend the rest of eternity with me as your mate?"

"You want to change me, so we will be immortal together?" The smile on my face was huge and filled with hope as he spoke the words I longed to hear.

"Yes, Bella. You and me. Immortals together for eternity." He looked deeply into my eyes.

Could he have any doubt as to what my answer would be?

"Yes, my Edward, yes, there is nothing I want more than to be by your side as your wife and as your immortal together for eternity."

"Thank you..thank you." He kissed my hands.

Rose, Emmett, Edward and I met Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper at the Mansion around 1 o'clock. After we exchanged heartfelt greetings, Esme lead us into the kitchen where she had lunch from the Pizzeria waiting for us. Platters of stuffed manicotti, lasagne and antipasto salad were on the kitchen island in a lovely display. To think that just a few hours ago we were sitting around in the same spot playing silly drinking games in our underwear. Today we were in our battle gear and would be discussing the escalation of war in Forks.

The three of us discussed strategies and weaponry. Carlisle seemed to be impressed with my girls and my knowledge of self preservation.

"What was it that you mentioned about taking out the water tower with a grenade launcher?" Edward asked me,"Was that a prank or something else?"

My girls and I laughed at the absurdity of that statement considering the city of Forks was nearly leveled and everyone in it killed.

"Well," I began, I got up and paced the kitchen as I recalled the story, "basically and to cut to the chase, a coven of demon worshipping spell casters moved into Forks a few years back and were tainting the water supply with certain herbs that brought the town to it's knees. This coven of Vampires from Volterra, Italy...they call themselves The Volturi..they're really a bunch of old geezers with paper looking skin and they smell funny. Anyways, they came to town and threatened to wipe Forks off the face of the planet if we didn't get rid of these maniacs. At first everyone all laughed in their faces, but then, this little bitch ripped the mind of the Mayor of Forks right out of his brain in front of the whole town. Well, no one laughed after that, but were paralyzed to do anything, because these sorcerers had spiked the water so that whoever drank it, fell under their command."

"Yes, of course I remember that, it was a horrible time. No one knew what was happening. But the girls, they were amazing. They saved the town. That's why the city gives basically gives them carte blanche in these kinds of matters." Esme interjected proudly, hugging Alice who was now decked out in her battle gear.

"Anyways," I smiled at Esme and continued, "the girls and I are more beer drinkers than water drinkers, you know? So we were clear. Since no one in the town was going to man-up, we kind of took care of things. We found out where they were holed up and it was the water tower, naturally. So, one night when they were up there chanting over the water supply, we got out this grenade launcher that we lifted from the armory and blasted them. Story over."

"You came up against the Volturi?" Jasper's eyes were huge.

"Ya, you know them?" Rose asked everyone.

Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle looked at us incredulously.

"Yes, we have had dealings with them before." Carlisle stated. "They're very powerful."

"Well, I suppose they scare most people, but to us...eh." I said plainly.

Edward was staring at me. I couldn't read his face. Then, he suddenly stood up and took my hand, pulling me behind him out of the kitchen.

"We'll be right back," he said over his shoulder and lead me up the stairs and into his bedroom.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I was worried at his urgency.

He shut the door and pushed me up against it. His mouth found mine and kissed me hard, holding my face in his hands.

"Edward, what?" I managed to say when his lips moved to my neck.

"Listening to the story...your bravery...I..I'm incredibly turned on and I couldn't stand not kissing you for another second."

Edward's need was hot and fervent. He ripped my khaki's off and opened my snaps in one swoop. Right there, up against the door. Oh, my darling Edward.

We rejoined the family, who just shook their heads at us and giggled.

Edward shyly said, "Sorry for the interruption." More giggles.

Carlisle was so happy to see his son in love and so happy, he was practically beside himself, smiling proudly and just beaming.

"Well, shit Edward, are you going to be humping her during the fight?" Emmett laughed.

I didn't see him leap, but all of a sudden Edward was on top of Emmett on the floor pounding his face in. Jasper came behind Edward and dragged him off, but not before he gave Emmett a hard kick in the face.

Esme took my hand, "Girls, let's go into the other room before it gets really stupid."

"I think it's too late for that, Mom," Alice laughed.

We sat around on the couches asking Esme questions about the change and married life with Carlisle. She made it sound so wonderful, like a fairytale. Esme was glowing. Her new life as a vampire really looked good on her. She was nice looking before, but now she was just unbelievably gorgeous. Her pale skin was smooth and creamy, her long auburn hair softly fell in waves down her back. But more than that, her love for Carlisle and his for her was so evident it made me blush when they looked at each other. We talked about my wedding plans. Carlisle and Esme would be staying until the wedding and then all eight of us would go to Denali together.

All four boys were now fully engaged in tumbling around the floor, roaring loudly, fists flying. We looked at our men, then each other and cracked up.

"I'm so happy to be home." Esme laughed and grabbed us all in a group hug.

**A/N: Oh Edward is such a naughty boy! As the girls prepare to battle for the good folks of Forks, will the Cullens man-up and join them or retreat behind the treaty? And, if Quil and Embry were locked up – who did the job on Alice's house? Can Edward get his mind off Bella's snaps to be of any help?? **

**Thank you, you absolutely delicious Twilighters for your reviews and adds! You know the thing about reviews is that they are like a shot of writer's adrenaline!**

**...Love and Lemondrops!...BSL...**


	22. Frikken Author's Note

**Sorry, but this is only a FRIKKEN AUTHOR'S NOTE!!**

**OMC you guys made me write an author's note as a chapter and I HATE DESPISE LOATH AND OTHERWISE DON'T LIKE when author's waste a chapter writing an author's note...but I wanted to tell you lovely Twilighters that due to a glitch, Chapter 20 was reposted as 21...Geez, as soon as you guys give me the pieces of my ass that you chewed off...and you know who you are :-)...go back to the story, click on the author: BloodsuckingLeech and it will take you to my profile page...go to the story (and check out my others, if you like-shameless promoting, I know) and click on the title and then go to the chapter drop down and click on 21...sorry it's the long way, but that's what happens when a fuck up happens. **

**Sorry about the problem...I wasn't trying to fool you or piss you off as some of you have suggested and the inferences to my intelligence were sorely felt, ...**

**But as a very wise and sexy vampire once stated:**

"**No blood, no foul"**

**I love you all, and thanks for sticking with me! Chapter 22 is on the way...here's a quote:**

"**I'm thinking I'm just going to have to walk up, say hello and blow his fucking head off," I stated as I removed my two shotguns from the duffle bag and sheathed them in the leather holsters I had strapped to my back.**

**Love ya! BSL**


	23. Chapter 22: Common People

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Common People**

So, as the sun was going down, Charlie called to let me know that Quil and Embry had been released into the custody of Sam Uley. They couldn't pin anything on them and Alice's house burnt while they were behind bars. All eight of us huddled around the dining room table, since the boys turned the kitchen island and chairs into so much kindling.

Suddenly, the Immortals all stood at attention at once, their attention turned towards the front door.

"Someone's coming." Carlisle hissed.

"One of them." Jasper growled out low and menacing.

"Good. Let them come." Emmett smiled, showing his venom coated teeth.

"Bella Swan!" A female voice called out from the front yard. "Bella Swan!"

"It's Lauren Mallory...what the fuck does that cunt want with you?" Edward spit out, looking out of a split in the heavy drapes covering the front window. "She's holding up her hands like she's unarmed. Her car is parked at the end of the drive. Looks like that Stanley hag is in the passenger seat. She's got balls coming here like this, that's for sure."

I put on my black leather trench coat to cover my weaponry and headed for the door.

"Woa now...hang on." Edward caught my arm as I reached for the doorknob, "We go together." He kissed me as I drew my magnum. He opened the door quickly We stepped out on to porch.

"Christ, Mallory...what the fuck do you want?"

"J-Jacob Black sent me." She stuttered, obviously nervous about the gun barrel pointed at her ugly face from about 15 feet away.

"You've got 2 seconds to spill before I shoot your stupid face off. What does he want?"

"He wants to see you. _Only_ you. At the rez. That's it, I swear." Her hands were up over her head now; she was visibly shaking.

"You miserable piece of shit, give me one reason why I shouldn't blow your head off. Just one and I'll let you go." I said and cocked my gun.

Lauren Mallory pissed her expensive designer jeans.

I almost choked on my own spit I was laughing so hard There was rolling laughter coming out of the house behind us. Edward shook his head, putting his hand on my shoulder and laughing like hell. I lowered my gun.

"Get out of here, you pathetic worm." I snorted, gesturing with the gun for her to go now.

She ran down the driveway, clearly uncomfortable with her wet, stinky pants to the absolute delight of our family.

"Run, piss ass, run!" Emmett called after her with his booming laugh. She got in and I heard Jess yell _"EW!"_ at Lauren before they squealed out.

I stuck my gun back in my ass crack where it belongs. Edward kissed me and then we went back into the house.

"Well, ain't that an unexpected turn of events-an invitation." Rose smirked.

Carlisle and Esme had changed into more appropriate attire. Black turtlenecks and dark cammo pants, black combat boots, black beanie. They looked like a spread for "GQ Goes to Combat." The boys were dressed in all black, black turtlenecks, tight tight black skinny jeans with the legs tucked into black shitkickers, black baseball caps. I couldn't function Edward was a complete turn on. Breathe, I had to remember to breathe. I turned to our beautiful and deadly group.

"Let's go get ready to pay a call on my old friend, Jacob," I cracked my knuckles and grinned, "Although I'm thinking I'm just going to have to walk up, say hello and blow his fucking head off," I stated as I removed my two shotguns from the duffel bag and sheathed them in the leather holsters I had strapped to my back.

I distributed the rest of the weapons to my girls. Throwing stars and darts, tasers, twin machetes for Rose; wrist-mounted crossbow with laser site and razor tipped, exploding point arrows for little Alice. We tucked our hair into our helmets, attaching our field communication headsets and doing a radio check.

Our three guys just stood there, awestruck with raging hard ons as they watched us prepare for battle like the true warriors that we are. Alice handed out headsets to the guys. The bastards started talking dirty to us and almost undermined our focus. Alice and I had to pull Rose back as she started to unsnap herself and pounce on Emmett.

"Easy girls," I reminded them, "Keep frosty."

Carlisle and Esme joined us for some final strategy talk. Alice handed them their headsets. They would go first in my weapons laden truck and park off the main road to La Push as back up and supply. We hugged and kissed each other and headed off to the garage. The six of us piled into Emmett's jeep. I took the high ground, sitting on top, straddling the roof, watching the road behind us for followers, shotgun in hand. Edward was not happy with this arrangement, but acknowledging my skills, quietly acquiesced.

As we rode along the bumpy Main Road to the rez, I thought back to Jake and me as kids. It wasn't all bad. Sure, he came out of the womb with an erection, but we also shared some good times. When we would go to the 7-11 as kids, sometimes the Forks brats would tease him, calling him stupid names and picking on him. That's the year I learned how much more effective a water balloon dropped from an over head tree limb can be. Lauren and Jess learned it, too, on the receiving end. I can remember Jake holding down the vile Mike Newton (spit) while I pummeled his face bloody after he stuck gum in Jake's hair. Dropping rocks from the overpass on cars. My first kiss in the first grade was with Jacob and then Jacob got his first broken nose after I walloped him for kissing me. And the classic flaming bag of dog poop. How many times had Charlie stomped them out? Last count was 16 times including the one I pulled last week. Good times. And here I was, on the way to finish the job I started at the campfire.

**A/N: This is short but sweet! Thanks for hanging in there with me, all you lovely Twilighters! Thank you so much for your reviews and adds...you guys are giving me warm fuzzies! Ha! You wish! More coming soonly! Review, it's like Bawls to my fingers! It's an energy drink you pervs! Hehe! **

**See ya soonly...BSL...Love and Lemondrops!**


	24. Chapter 24: Seven Nation Army

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Twenty-four: Seven Nation Army**

The ride to the rez was uneventful although tense, but we kept our cool. The Vampires pierced the darkness with their enhanced night vision, the Humans aided with our night vision goggles. We checked in with Esme and Carlisle before we crossed the boundary line. They were in place. If we got separated, the rendezvous place was Forks Pizzeria. Edward kept talking to me during the ride, obviously very uncomfortable with our not being together.

Emmett pulled up to the Black's modest little home. Geez, it hadn't changed in 15 years. The boys did some recon around the house. Emmett stood guard at the back door, Jasper in front. Standing at attention on the porch were four guys I recognized as pack members, standing with their tree trunk-like arms folded across their massive chests.

"Paul, Seth, Brady, Collin," I nodded to each of them in greeting.

Sam stepped out of the front door and waved once in greeting to us. "Bella, Alice, Rose."

"Sam." I nodded to him, "And of course, you know Edward, Jasper and Emmett, our mates."

"_Mates_?? You mean you brought your bloodsucking sex toys with you." Paul spat out.

"Edward," I stated, ignoring the comment, "and Emmett and Jasper will be out here. A little insurance."

"Are you sure your leeches are housebroken or do I have to put out a litter box for them?" Brady laughed and the others just giggled.

Edward tensed and took a step forward. I held out my arm in front of him. "Easy, love."

Seth and Paul tensed in reaction and took a half step forward. Sam barked something in Quileute. They backed down.

"They're waiting inside for you." Sam spoke in a a serious voice. Then he spoke to the four behind him in Quileute.

"The bloodsuckers have to go." He looked at me, brows furrowed. "This is not negotiable. My boys will escort them off Tribal lands. We agreed to let you and the females come. They must go NOW."

I took Edward's hand and looked at him in the eye. "Love, you and the boys get out of here. Don't look at me like that. It's actually ok. I need to know you are safe so I don't worry. It's important to have my mind clear and detached. You dig me?" I leaned up, whispering, "Look, I'm armed like Fort fucking Knox. Plus, if I go down, I'm taking the frikken house with me, I'm booby trapped."

Edward's eyes grew wide and tears were forming. "Shhh...my love..." I stroked his face as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "It's a last resort. I'm going now...I love you."

"I love you. Come back to me." He bent down and kissed my lips. I took the tear that fell on his cheek onto my finger and kissed it.

Alice and Rose kissed their mates and then joined me. We watched Seth and Paul walk over to the guys and they all walked out to the main road, leaving the jeep behind.

My girls and I walked up the path to the porch arm in arm like were going for a stroll around the mall. The very epitome of cool confidence.

Sam opened the door and we slid in. The group waiting for us inside in the tiny living room immediately spread out as we entered. Billy Black was in the middle, flanked on the left by Old Quil Ateara, whom the girls and I know as Old Queer, and on the right was Sue Clearwater. Little Quil and Embry stood in the hall outside of Jake's room. But over by the window...was that Charlie?

"Dad?" I looked incredulously at him. He cast his eyes to the floor...embarrassed?

"Uh...hi...Bella."

Old Queer spoke in a raspy voice so dry I thought I saw flour coming out of his mouth.

"Isabella Marie Swan, Daughter of Charles Marion Swan...when you were born, your father and our Elder Billy Black entered into a sacred, binding pact to keep the peace between our people and yours. You were betrothed to Jacob Tiberius Black while you were still in the womb."

"_WHAT?? CHARLIE?? WHAT THE FUCK???"_

"Woa" I heard Rose behind me.

My head swirled.

"This enmity between the two of you stops today." Old Queer pounded his carved wooden cane on the floor boards, "We have prepared the Taking of the Virgin Ceremony to commence in 30 minutes."

"The _what?" _Alice laughed.

"Listen, Old Queer, do they _both_ actually have to be a virgin?" Rose giggled.

"Dad! You can't be serious." I was pleading with Charlie, who had yet to look in my eyes. "Does Mom know about this??? I can't believe she'd go along with this!"

"I'll see you at the ceremony." He mumbled and made a hasty retreat out the front door.

"DAD!"

"Your groom is waiting for you in his bedroom. You will go to him now." Billy spoke, "We will all adjourn to the Ceremonial area, we got an open bar going." He announced to a mumble of excitement.

"You bet I'm going to go to him now. Girls, keep an eye on Beavis and Butthead while I go talk to my..._groom. _Will ya?" I spit out between clenched teeth.

Quil and Embry looked down at me with blank expressions. I waved my hand in front of there eyes.

"Hello? Anyone home?" I said to them. No response. But they parted and let me through.

I turned to look at Rose and Alice one more time before I entered the bedroom of my enemy. They gave me the thumbs up signal, then took defensive stances opposite the moron twins.

The room was dark and smelled woodsy. There were dozens of white pillar candles and clumps of sage burning on copper plates around the room. Jake was laying in bed on top of the covers wearing a white terry cloth robe. The hood was up and it threw shadows on his face. I could only see his black eyes glowing in the candlelight. He was watching me walk around the side of the bed. He had feet and hands and some type of body, but I couldn't see his face. It hadn't been too long since he was toasted, but I had no idea how long or short the Werewolf healing process takes.

"Jake." I greeted him from across the small room. I kept my arms loosely by my sides in case he lunged at me.

"Bella." He sighed.

"It appears that you survived." I said plainly.

"So it appears." He said darkly.

"So? Now what?"

"Would you relax for a minute? Look at you, all armed and shit." He gestured towards my outfit.

"Well considering our recent history, it seemed appropriate." I smirked.

"True that." He looked out the window and the candlelight lit up his face for a moment. Woa.

"Jake?"

"Uh huh."

"You've got to know that you and I are not a thing, right? That we were never a thing and we're not going to be. Right? Come on, tell me after all we've been through since you've been out, that you get this, right?"

"Ya, I guess I've known that. I've known about the betrothal between us too. I was hoping I wouldn't have to force you to marry me, I figured you'd just want me without my having to go all Tribal on you."

"Shit, Jake, what made you think we'd end up together? That's fucked."

"Ya, I know. So let's just forget about it ok? Be friends again like we used to?"

"Um...Let me think that one over." I said knowing full well that if he comes anywhere near me I'm going to have to fuck him up again.

"Well, have it your way, Bella, friends or not, we're getting married in 20 minutes."

A bunch of things happened at once. My whole body stiffened. He shifted on the bed, looking like he was trying to get up. I heard a scuffle outside the door. I reached into my helmet and grabbed my headset. Jake reached out and smacked it out of my hand. He got up and his hood fell back.

Involuntarily, I gasped. His head was completely bald, his skin looked like candle wax had melted on it and where I threw my Bowie into his neck, there was a black and red scar that looked like railroad tracks. He had no ears, no eyebrows, his nose looked like it was silly puttied into place. Fucking hideous.

"Pretty, ain't I, Bella? Do you like your handiwork?" He approached me slowly. I backed up. "You know, I was going to be good to you. I was going to keep you all to myself. But not now. You see, our pack shares everything. I'm gonna let Quil and Embry fuck you first right after the ceremony. Well, after I'm done anyways. Hell, my Dad's been horny for you since you were 6. Tomorrow morning he's going to serve you breakfast in bed." He laughed at this, a scary hysterical tinge to it. "Old Quil can't get it up anymore, but he's got a collection of toys in his pantry that would make a hooker blush. Oh ya and Sue and Emily are going to have you tomorrow night right at the council meeting. A little entertainment."

A wave of nausea floated through me. I had to swallow hard to keep the barf from spilling out. I began to see that I had only one way out of this. I steeled my resolve and planted a seductive look on my face.

I heard Alice and Rose banging on the door. No doubt they had already taken care of Quil and Embry. "Rose, Alice, why don't you go to the jeep and listen to some Green Day. Jake and I want to be alone."

Green Day was our signal for 'Get the fuck out of here and don't look back.' I heard stomping and the front door slamming. The roar of Emmett's jeep filled the silence, then faded into the distance.

"Ok Jake, everyone's gone. You want to fuck me? Or did your weenie get bbq'd too?"

Stupid stupid stupid. He dropped his robe. From the neck down he was perfectly fine. Well, too fine as now I was staring at his huge excitement coming at me. Be cool, Bella. Wait for it.

"Wow, Jake. Don't you want to wait for the ceremony?"

"I have just enough time to do you and then get dressed."

Geez a whole 10 minutes.

"Ok. Fine. Let me get undressed. Take all this crap off." He stood there, arms folded over his chest, flag flying, as knives, guns, stars, darts, the taser and various other blades were extracted from pockets and holsters and carefully placed on his dresser. Next, I carefully removed my one piece body armor suit and laid it carefully on the end of the bed.

I stood there in my black satin bra, matching thong and combat boots. The breath whooshed out of him in one big puff as he stared at me with that disfigured face of his. Geez, he made Freddie Krueger look sweet and cuddly.

"Do you mind opening the window? Get some air in here? The sage is making me kinda nauseous." Actually it's your face.

He ran to the window and as he did I saw my chance. Zip Zip! Two weighted, razor edged stars flew through the air, effectively severing his spine in two places. He crumpled to the floor screaming.

I flipped the switch on my one piece and looked at my watch. 30 seconds. I had thirty seconds until the plastique I wired into my chest protector exploded.

"Bella you bitch! What have you done to me?" He screeched.

"You are pure evil Jacob Black and I'm sending you back to hell where you belong!"

I grabbed a few things off the dresser on my way out. I threw the bedroom door open, jumped over Quil and Embry who had multiple throwing darts and several of Alice's special tipped crossbow arrows implanted in their foreheads and ran out the front door. The minute I hit the bottom step, Rose pulled up in the jeep with Alice and the guys, spun the thing a 180 and plowed down the dirt road out of there. We hit the main road out of La Push and then

**B O O M**

The Black family abode was reduced to sawdust.

We all cheered and then I finally relaxed into Edward's arms.

"It's over. It's finally over." I breathed deeply.

Edward held me tightly in his lap, kissing every place he could reach. He took off his black turtleneck and put it on me. It fit me like a dress with really long sleeves. Alice broke out the beers from the cooler and distributed them.

"To my girls," I lifted my bottle of Bud, "Damn sexy, lethal and smart...what a combination! What say ye?"

"Here! Here!" Was the happy response, as we all took a deep pull.

"Hey...what's this?" Rose said suddenly, looking at the road ahead.

"What the fuck?" Alice squinted.

There was a roadblock preventing us from going any further.

"What the fuck is _she_ doing there?" Emmett said incredulously.

As Edward defensively positioned himself in front of me, he gritted his teeth,

"And what the fuck is she holding??"

**A/N: Hi everybody! Well what do you think? Sorry about the cliffie..I couldn't resist! The reviews, the adds, OMC you guys are making this so much fun! Thanks, all you lovely Twilighters, all this happy dancing I'm doing is getting me in shape!**

**Until next chapter...Love and Lemondrops!...BSL..**


	25. Chapter 25: Psycho Killer

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Twenty-five: Psycho Killer**

Angela stood in an offensive stance before us in the pouring rain. Bazooka perched on her shoulder, aimed at us point blank. Her van was parked behind her, blocking the road.

"GET OUT OF THE JEEP _NOW_!" She yelled in a loud, deep voice.

"Angela? What the fuck??" Edward asked. What the holy fuck was she doing?

"Have you lost your fucking mind??" Rose screeched at her.

Rose, Emmett, Alice and Jasper slid out of the jeep slowly, hands up. Edward got out before me and helped me down. When Angela saw me, a burning look of incredulity and hatred flashed on her face.

"YOU'RE NOT _DEAD_??? HE DIDN'T KILL YOU??? WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD???" She stamped her feet, screaming in a hideous sounding snarl.

Angela let out a feral yell, "AAAAHHH---- I can't fucking be-_lieve_ this! Stupid stupid stupid dog! I'm going to kick his flea bitten ass and then I'm going to fuck the holy hell out of him and then I'm going to kick his ass some more and then I'm gonna..."

"Are you talking about Jacob Black?" Alice inquired.

"You mean my mate," Angela's face softened a bit and she relaxed her grip on the bazooka.

"You're WHAT??" I screamed.

"That's right, Bella, you ignorant slut, Jake and I imprinted. But the only way to break that stupid Tribal marriage contract is with your death. And after you're dead..." she laughed maniacally, scaring the crap out of us in it's twisted hystericality, "then, I am going to sell your songs to Van Helsing, and me being your manager..." another nauseating cackle, "...I would take _all_ the royalties. Then Jakie and I will live happily ever after!!!"

I guess her mate never told her about the times he tried to "kill" me with his penis. And my instincts told me that this was not the time to tell her that Jake is not going to service her doggy style any time soon.

"Ok..the rest of you assholes get over to the side, it's her I want!" Angela spat out.

"NO!" My girls yelled and stood in front of me. The guys joined them and we all stood together, facing down the bazooka in the hands of Daffy Duck.

"Ok, it's your funeral...well if there's any pieces of you left to bury. HAHAHAHA!"

Then the two most beautiful words came floating through the air. It was Esme:

"**G R E E N. . D A Y !!" **

My truck was flying backwards down the dirt road , Esme at the grenade launcher.

Before a fly could fart, the guys picked us up and ran like the wind into the woods, the rain slapping our faces like a cop trying to force a confession. They kept running until we heard

**B O O M !...B O O M!...B A H-B O O M!!!**

The impact wave blew through the forest knocking us all to the ground. The sound of twisted metal and a rain of sparks and smoke fell on the road.

"Esme! Carlisle!" I screamed in horror. The six of us flew back the way we came.

Angela's van, now a burning, stinking pile of refuse, was on top of Emmett's Jeep which was now a molten pile of scrap metal. Angela, or what was left of her was looking more like primordial goo than human.

Back at the Cullen Mansion, Carlisle 'debriefed' me on the goings on at the rez, including the marriage pact that betrayer Charlie Swan was expecting me to adhere to. Edward held me on his lap as I recounted the horror show that was my life recently.

"I think the best thing to do is lay low for a while. I'll take off for a while, maybe head East." I said, looking out the window.

"Let's not do anything hasty, now. Let's take some quiet time to contemplate our options." Esme spoke tenderly, "We are a family, Bella. We do everything together for the good of all of us."

"Your going off half-cocked will not serve the purpose you think it will," Carlisle added with authority, "Esme is right. Let's take some time to consider all the angles. Is that okay with you Bella? Will you give us 24 hours at the most?"

"I don't think I have that much time, Carlisle. I think I need to act fast."

"I honestly don't think so. Clearly there is no doubt about the necessity for your actions. Matter of fact, I think I owe Charlie a good thrashing." Carlisle said with narrowed eyes.

"Well," Edward's voice sounded small, choked. He's such a titty baby...but as long as they're my tits I'm happy, "Let's at least get you upstairs and cleaned up. Not that you don't look spectacular in my shirt." He said as he nuzzled my neck.

"Ok." I kissed him on the check and inhaled his fragrance deeply into my soul.

Edward lead me into the bathroom and started the shower. He undressed himself slowly and then turned his attention to me. He moved his hands slowly up my body, lifting his shirt up up over my head.

When we reappeared all nice and clean, Esme had prepared a light dinner for the humans.

She and Carlisle retired to their bed chamber to clean up and make some phone calls. Except that it didn't sound like they were getting much work done. Rose and Emmett, Alice and Jasper were all nice and scrubbed and glowing. It's a house filled with horny sex fiends! How lucky could a girl be?

We sat around the new kitchen island and chairs. Rose got out the Absolute and 6 shot glasses. "We need to relax. Christ, it was a victory today. Tradition merits a good inebriation, yes?"

"True that. No need to get all serious and shit," Alice said. "We've been through worse. Although I think we can kiss our jobs good-bye."

"Ya, obliterating the boss's daughter is surely not going to earn us employee of the month." Edward laughed.

I raised a glass, "Here's to becoming a burden on society! What say ye?"

"Here here!" All answered and threw the shot back.

Jasper poured us another round. "Here's to sleeping late and getting laid!"

"Woo Hoo!" we raised our glasses and our voices.

"Let's play a game to loosen up, eh?" Emmett suggested.

"My Penis/My Vagina?" Jasper spoke with a cute grin on his face.

"Ok, you start us off, brother." Edward said to his blond sibling.

"Alrighty...My penis is adorable."

"My vagina is beautiful." Alice chimed in next.

"My penis is cocky." Emmett chuckled.

"My vagina is do-able" Rose giggled.

"My vagina is Edward's," That was me, of course.

"My penis is fucking amazing," Edward claimed proudly. To which I said "Here here!" and we all threw back a shot.

"Well we made it through the first round unscathed, so everybody: Down the hatch!" Jasper refilled and started us again, "Gee..Gee...My penis is good to go."

Alice..."My vagina is H...H...well it's not hairy...FUCK!"

"Chug chug chug!" We chanted and Alice took one for her and one for the team.

"Fuck that's good...HORNY!" Alice exclaimed suddenly.

"What?"

"Horny...H...my vagina is horny...dammit!" We all cracked up.

Emmett's turn..."My penis is incredibly large." Edward and Jasper razzed him good, threatening to pull down their boxers to compare right there on the spot.

Rose...My vagina is M...frik..."

"Shot shot shot!" and two went down the lovely throat of Mrs. Emmett Cullen.

My turn..."My vagina is kissable!"

Edward..."My penis is lickable!"

Jasper..."My penis is manly!"

Alice..."My vagina is naughty."

Emmett.."My penis is obscure."

"FOUL!" I called it. "That's a three shot foul, Emmie."

"Three? Why three?" He asked as three shots of Vodka were put in front of him.

"One for you, one for the team and one as a lesson that intelligence is not welcome in a drinking game." I stated like I knew what the fuck I was talking about.

"Alright fair enough..that was an obscure reference to my diddle."

"Down it. Down it. Down it!" Emmett paid for his smart brain with 3 shots.

My cell phone rang, but after 6 or 7 shots... or more like 9 or 10, the closest I got to it, was to pick up a banana and slur "Hello?" to the absolute delight of all present.

After Edward picked himself up off the floor from laughing so hard, he handed it to me. The cell and my Bowie were the only things I picked up from Jake's dresser before he became a 4th of July attraction. Frik, it was Renee, the wife of the traitor Charlie Swan.

"Bella?" She whispered quickly.

"Ya Yo Yo Ma." I cracked myself up.

"Look, your Father (I think I heard her spit?) is in the other room talking with some of the Quileute Elders. I can't explain but you've got to get out Washington and I mean _fast._ I overheard them talking about some sort of Virgin Contract between your Dad (definitely a spit sound) and Jake Black. They are coming to get you. I was in the kitchen but they said that since Jake was no longer available then you and Billy...oh my God! I can't even say it."

"_WHAT???? _Mom-are you plastered??" My mouth was open in disgust. I sobered up fast, going over to the coffee maker and making some extra strong.

"NO! I haven't had a drink, but I was thinking about getting my nipples pierced."

"_EW_!!" Damn. I wish she'd have just slapped me.

"Anyways, Bella, I'm packed and heading to my Mom's. Then she and I are going to Vegas. I'll meet you outside of the Mansion in 10 minutes. I don't want you to hang out too long, but I want to see you before we split. Ok?" and then the phone went dead.

Edward was already filling in Esme and Carlisle on the upcoming horror show.

"Geez, the Blacks sure are a perverted lot, aren't they?" Esme remarked, "Well, why don't you get ready to meet your Mom...we'll be in here if you need us." She came over and gave me a hug, as did Carlisle. Then they took up positions in the living room, closing the drapes and peering out between the splits.

I drank three cups of strong ass coffee, puked in the sink and then had another cup. My girls were doing the same thing, drinking the badass coffee I made and puking in the sink. I had some cold water and readied myself to say good-bye to my Mom.

I heard a car drive up. Then another one. Fuck. Not good.

Stepping out of the first piece of shit car was Sam Uley, Seth Clearwater, Billy Black, and Old Queer. But the second car...oh my fucking Grapes...it was my Dad with his arm around Lauren Mallory. Jessica Stanley got out of the back sporting a faux hawk.

They formed a line about 20 feet in front of the porch and watched us intently as the six of us filed out and took similar positions opposite them. Calisle and Esme stayed in the house, ready in case we needed back-up.

"Bella, you're coming with us." Charlie called to me. Lauren was leaning her body into my Dad's side, her hand on his beer gut, her other hand doing I don't want to know what behind him. If I had something to barf, I would have spewed at the thought.

"She's not going anywhere, Swan, you miserable bastard." Edward yelled loud and clear.

"Shut up you stupid fuck monkey! I'm going to take pleasure in cutting your dick off and personally shoving it down Bella's throat," Lauren laughed, brandishing a deboning knife.

That was it..."NO ONE TALKS TO EDWARD LIKE THAT!" And like poetry in motion, my Bowie flew out of my hand and floated threw the air, landing square in Lauren's frontal lobe. She squeaked, fell back and expired. Charlie shocked into paralization, looked at her on the ground.

Billy, Old Queer, Sam, Seth and Jessica all lunged forward at the same time. And like a coordinated ballet, Edward, Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie launched titanium point throwing darts, each landing point blank between their eyes. They fell like puppets whose strings had been cut.

Leaving Charlie in front of me. His face was purple with rage, the veins in his neck and forehead sticking out like wriggling earthworms under his skin. I quickly glanced at my Bowie stuck in Lauren's skull. Charlie caught the look. He stepped on Laurens' neck and wiggled the Bowie free. Turning to me, he pulled his arm back ready to throw. I gasped, seeing my family in slow motion springing into action to tackle me out of the way before my knife made contact. Charlie stopped suddenly, a surprise look on his face, fell forward, a large knife sticking out of the back of his head. Renee, still in her offensive stance, had nailed Charlie.

It was silent for a moment and then she and I screamed, flat out running to close the distance between us. We gripped each other in a tight embrace, tears falling from both of our faces onto each others shoulders.

Esme and Carlisle built a huge bonfire on the front lawn and started tossing odd pieces of furniture and the bodies in.

Mom was still planning to go to Vegas, but Carlisle and Esme talked her into waiting until morning. Then the three of them adjoined hand in hand to their bedroom to "discuss" some things. Geez..I took a nosedive into denial before I even let that sink into my brain.

Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett all went upstairs to their own rooms.

Edward and I sat curled up on the couch together and enjoyed the quiet for a while.

**A/N: Sick, twisted...yes...I am all of this and more...and you love me for it! HAHA! Well, was this worth the death and/or dismemberment threats, the parade of fish laid at my door, the voodoo dolls? You betcha! Review and let me know! Were you surprised?? Can you guess what comes next? Love to hear from you! Until next time...**

**Love and Lemondrops for all you lovely Twilighters!!...BSL**


	26. Chapter 26: Whole Lotta Love

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Twenty-six: Whole Lotta Love**

My girls and I slept pretty good that night, wrapped in the arms of our guys. When morning broke through the blanket of night, we all gravitated towards the kitchen. The smell of freshly brewed coffee from the kitchen had us all filing down the stairs in a kind of zombie shuffle. In the kitchen, Carlisle, flanked by Esme to his left and Renee to his right, greeted us very cheerfully. Esme and Renee were positively glowing. Carlisle looked like he just won the lottery. We single filed it by the coffee pot, grabbed a cup and sat at the table opposite the three of them. Carlisle cleared his throat. He was radiant, his smile was ear to ear.

"My sons and daughters, the three of us have an announcement, of sorts, to make." He put his arms around the two women seated next to him. He turned and kissed Esme on the lips.

Then he turned towards Renee and kissed her on the lips.

"The three of us have decided to be married together. Renee is joining our family as my other wife." The three of them giggled. Clearly, they were either high or very happy with the situation.

The six of us, on the other hand, were stunned silly.

"Ain't it great, Bella?" Renee's smile was...well, I've never seen her smile like that. She never looked happy in my whole life. Not like this. With Charlie, she lived a life trapped in silent desperation, which resulted in her drinking herself into fuck town every night. It was painful to watch the years creep up on her, knowing that she probably felt she had made the wrong decision to stay with him, yet feeling totally powerless to do anything . I never saw them showing any affection in public let alone hearing them doing it in private.

"Yes, Mom...I guess I'm really happy for you...Wow!"

I put my index finger under Edward's chin and closed his mouth. Emmett roared with a kind of laughter of approval. Jasper smiled and nodded his head. Alice and Rose were down with it. I mean, you look at the three of them and shit, they're happy-like someone turned a light switch on in their hearts.

"Ok," Carlisle continued, "On to business. Boys, it's time. We're leaving Forks and it's time to tie up loose ends."

"Time for what?" I turned and faced my love, "Edward?"

My girls and their mates left the table and headed up to their rooms. Edward stood with quite a serious look on his face, held out his hand for mine and lead me up the stairs to his room. He sat me on the bed still holding that look on his face. I didn't like that look, so I thought I should change it for him. I laid back on the bed and reached my arms out over my head, arching my back in a long muscle stretch. Edward watched me and his expression did change. He smiled, narrowed his eyes and pounced on top of me. He held my wrists in one hand, trailing kisses down my jaw, down my neck to my collarbone. His tongue licked my carotid artery and it tingled.

"Bella..." His cool, sweet breath drifted over my neck. "I love you, my angel."

"Edward..." my breath increased until I was panting, " I love you."

"It's time, my love," he said, his serious face returning.

My heart stopped, my breath caught. I stared into his eyes and he smiled. His golden eyes captured mine in their dazzling light.

I swallowed hard. "Time?"

"Yes, we're moving out very soon. Tomorrow, matter of fact."

I panicked. Hard. He had a very amused look on his face.

"Ok. I'll bite. What's so funny?"

"Exactly."

"Don't make me beat the fuck out of you." Frustration mounting.

"I'd rather you fuck the fuck out of me."

"Don't even think you're getting any."

"Oh really?" He lifted an eyebrow and my shirt. He started talking to my boobs, vibrating the twin peaks.

"Ok! Ok! You can have me...now what time is it?"

"10:32a.m."

"Smartass."

"Ok, it's like this." He lifted his head out from under my shirt and went back to dazzling me.

Here it comes.

"Carlisle thought it would be wise to change you girls before we left for Alaska."

"Before who left for Alaska?"

"Fuck Bella! _All_ of us. Geez you get hit with a stupid stick this morning?" He laid back on the bed cracking himself up.

That was it. Call me bitch. Call me slut. But call me stupid? Uh Uh. He was going to pay for that one.

I leapt on top of him, ripped his sweats off and tortured him til he cried out my name.

So when he recovered enough to make a coherent sentence, he begin to tell me what was involved with changing a Human into a Vampire.

"We will have a short ceremony in Latin and then I'll bite you."

"Is it painful?"

"Yes, it's a difficult language, but Carlisle has been studying his syntax." Oh, love him or kill him...? He's was walking a fine line here.

"Oh. My .God, Edward." I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"What??"

"What about the biting, the changing, the Vampiring? Is it painful?"

"Meh...a little painful...a little messy...then it's over with-two, three days tops."

Hm...a _little_ painful and messy? Why do I think 'little' is an understatement. Sort of like when your friend is trying on a totally skanky outfit and she asks you...'Does this make me look slutty?' and you answer...'Um..maybe a little.'

"Then you will awaken." He continued, ignoring the 'you're so full of shit' look that was no doubt plastered on my face. "You will be thirsty, sexed up as hell and feeling really good. I'll be there, of course, to assist you with this." A sparkle in his eyes and a shift in his nether regions told me it would be not be altogether unpleasant for him. Horny bastard.

"So, when do we do the deed?"

"Well, Carlisle is preparing for the ceremony. It's not necessary, but we do it anyways." He walked over to his closet and got out a red garment bag with my name lavishly embroidered on it, "Then, when the ceremony is complete, you and I will come back here, I'll do you , then bite you, drink you a bit and then..." he looked out the window for a moment, pursed his lips, " and then zip zip zip, you'll be changed."

"Wait, what _aren't_ you telling me." I walked in front of him and put my hand on his stomach. He didn't answer, "Edward?"

"Well, sometimes it's not easy. Sometimes it takes longer, or it's more painful or it doesn't..." his jaw tightened and he sighed, "sometimes it doesn't work at all."

"Meaning...?"

"Well, occasionally there have been cases where the transition results in death or worse."

"Worse than death?"

"Yes, but we don't have to worry about that..come on, try on the robe."

"Ed." I was losing my patience now.

"Bell." Oh, no he is not going to play this, not now.

He sighed a big one and reluctantly started talking. "Sometimes, it results in madness, or violence or sometimes the effect is delayed or then, rarely, the blood rejects the venom. It's effects are temporary, but it's not pretty while it's happening."

"Temporary insanity? Violence? I can deal with that. " I crossed my arms over my chest. No problem.

"Yes, but can the rest of us?"

I looked at him with narrowed eyes and I swear I was going to lose it. "So, tell me Edward, is there anyway to kill a vampire?" We stared at each other for a long time. Then, there was a knock at the door.

"Time to go Mr. And Mrs. Butt-head." Emmett called in a girly voice.

**A/N...I know, it's a shorty...and no, Carlisle, Esme and Renee aren't Fundamentalist Mormons, they practice a polyamorous life style. Hope you enjoyed this chapter...I certainly am enjoying your reviews..you Twilighters are frikken hilarious! Review and make my fingers fly!**

**Until next time...Love and Lemondrops...BSL**


	27. Chapter 27: Forever

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**A/N: As you will note the change from Human to Vampire is very different than in canon and since this is AU, I am using my author's discretion. I borrowed a little bit here and there from various books on Vampire changing and ultimately came up with what I did. I don't think that my Humans should endure excruciating pain and suffering in this story, it doesn't work here (well, except if it's Bella causing it--roll in your grave vile Mike Newton ! (spit). And besides, Edward is a horny devil and says the biting is very sensual. So, your indulgence please as I present to you this chapter:**

**Chapter 27: Forever**

Up in Edward's bedroom, I showered and put on the floor length, white silk robe that was hanging in the red garment bag with my name embroidered on it. Edward was dressed in a similar robe in black silk. His exquisitely pale white face and his resplendently, soft bronze hair in contrast to the black of his silks took my breath away. He took my hand and lead me downstairs. Carlisle was waiting for us in the small library off the main living room. Lit only by pillar candles and a roaring blaze in the fireplace, the walls were lined with leather bound books and scrolls tied up in elaborate ribbons. He was dressed in a blood red silk robe that hung to the floor.

Alice, Rose and Renee will be doing the ceremony if they choose to. It is a very personal choice and one done in private. Regardless, tonite is the night when all of us will be leaving our Mortal selves behind.

Edward and I stood in front of Carlisle, hand in hand. He looked at the two of us with love and pride. He adored Edward and the joy in his expression brought a tear immediately to my eye. This was more than a simple thing, not just a biting ceremony. The joining of Edward and I went beyond the joining of two people. As Carlisle read the ancient texts, I came to realize that.

"Quisnam est tendo hic hodie?" Carlisle spoke. "**Who is presented here today**?"

Edward was clearly choked up, "Isabella Marie." He squeezed my hand gently.

"Quisnam sto per suus hodie ut suus conjux?" "**Who stands with her today as her consort**?"

"EGO operor, Edward Anthony." "**I do, Edward Anthony."**

"Ex is dies porro , Ut ye es vinculum in Cruor, Ye exsisto vinculum in Animus."

"**From this day forward, As ye be bonded in Blood, Ye be bonded in Soul."**

He put his left hand on top of our joined hands and said:

"**Cruor ut Cruor Blood to Blood"**

"**Cruor ut Animus Blood to Soul" **

"**Letalis ut Immortalis Mortal to Immortal"**

"**Insquequo subsisto ye ut futurus Until cease ye to exist" **

Carlisle spoke the ancient words with reverence and then turned to me saying, "Isabella Marie, come ye here with a free will and open heart?"

"Yes." I whispered.

"Isabella Marie, do give ye freely your heart, your blood, your mortal soul to your husband Edward Anthony?"

Husband?? "Yes!" I choked out.

Carlisle, turning to Edward, "Edward Anthony, ye have presented Isabella Marie today. Do ye freely take her heart, her soul and her mortal life to you as your wife until cease ye to exist?"

"Yes, oh yes!" Edward answered.

"Isabella Marie," Carlisle spoke, "Give unto Edward Anthony your hand of betrothal."

I gave Edward my left hand. He slipped a beautiful diamond and sapphire ring on my 3rd finger. I looked into his eyes as a tear slowly rolled down his cheek. I reached up and caught it on my fingertip, as he caught the one rolling down my cheek on his fingertip.

"Vado ye quod complexo vestri fatum," "**Go ye and embrace your destiny."**

Edward leaned down and gently kissed me on the lips. He swept me into his arms and ran up the stairs to the 3rd floor. He stood me up next to the bed, still kissing me, his urgency intensifying. He gently, gently slid the white silk robe off my shoulders and it pooled around my bare feet.

Although this wasn't the first time he had seen my body, I suddenly felt nervous and shy, covering up my breasts and my v with my hands. My body heated up in a full body blush.

Edward laughed softly in my ear as he kissed me down my neck to my shoulder. "Bella, love," He breathed into the hollow of my throat. His cool breath tingling me from my toes to my head, "I have seen every inch of you unclothed, you are beautiful and now you are mine."

I wrapped my arms around his neck. He shrugged out of his robe and there we were, married in the ancient tongue, naked and about to begin our lives together as Immortals.

He picked me up and laid me across the bed.

"Mrs. Cullen, my Wife." He beamed.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen, my Husband." I touched his face.

He was overcome with emotions, crying out my name and kissing my lips feverishly. When he calmed down and started kissing my neck, he backed up and looked into my eyes.

"Take me, Edward. Make me your Immortal." I breathed out.

He positioned himself between my legs and kissed my neck. I stretched my neck over, exposing my throat completely in absolute submission.

I felt the gentle press of his lips and then the piercing slice of his razor sharp teeth puncturing my vein. I heard him growl, soft and low, almost a purr, as I felt him pull the blood from my body. My body became excited, filled with burning desire as he drank my very essence into himself. He was all over me and I couldn't get enough of him. His lips pressed to my throat, his body pressed into mine. His breathing became ragged and he broke away abruptly.

With my blood glistening on his lips, he kissed me with a vengeance, thrusting his tongue into my mouth. Everything around me became magnified, bright and loud. I was going to spiral into panic mode as the sites, sounds, smells and tastes became suddenly overwhelming.

"Bella!" Edward said sternly to get my attention. "Take me now. Bite my vein and draw into you our blood and venom together. It will help you. Do it now."

"What?" I was confused and scared.

He pulled me onto his chest and bared his throat to me. "Do it _now,_ Bella!"

"Edward, I don't want to hurt you!" I was crying, clearly panicking.

"Bella-look into my eyes and believe me. Look at me." He took my face into his hands, "You will not hurt me, but you need to do this now for the change to happen. You must do it now, do you hear me?"

"Yes," I squeaked out and then straddling his hips I positioned myself over his throat. I bit him. My teeth sunk into his skin and into his blood and venom swollen vein. My whole body came alive at once. I felt a tremendous euphoria permeating every inch of me: My skin, my heart, my mind and my body were tingling with sensual pleasure. Edward coupled us and I thought I was going to explode with sensation. Then...just like that, an overwhelming tidal wave of intense distress swelled inside me. I panicked. I cried out. The last thing I remembered was Edward's voice screaming my name. And then blackness swallowed me.

I awoke not much later, Edward and I were still coupled and he was rubbing my back, singing softly.

"Hi." I cleared my throat, my voice sounded different.

"Hi there." Edward kissed the top of my head and I got off him.

Edward's neck was chewed raw. I can imagine mine looked the same way.

"I'm going to turn on the shower and then I'll come get you. Stay here." Edward grinned at me and I melted. I was feeling pretty good. A little shaky, a little freaked out perhaps, but generally not too bad. In the background I heard the faintest sound like the roar of the ocean in my head. Edward lifted me out of bed gently, set me in the warm shower spray and started soaping me up. Ya, I think I like being married.

After we exited the bathroom, I heard the wacky sound of Alice laughing coming from downstairs. Edward wanted to stay and start packing his CD collection. I told him I had to investigate. I picked up a shirt of Edward's off the floor and sniffed...it smelled just like him. I sighed as I put it on and headed towards the merriment.

Alice was sitting cross-legged on the couch. She looked great. Her pale skin was glowing with health. On her neck, she had the telltale sign that Jasper had been there. She was wearing one of Jasper's black t shirts. Jasper was sitting on the floor in front of her, wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a black muscle shirt. I got closer to check out what Alice was doing. She was looking at stuff on the coffee table and had a look on her face like she was concentrating on something very intently.

She had her Tarot cards spread out, her I Ching sticks arranged and her Rune Stones displayed. "Ahhhhh...yessssss..." she said and then..."OOOOOOOhhhh...I see...This," she spoke, pointing to the cards, "is very good. " She gestured to the sticks, "This is not so good." Nodding to the stones she said, "And this could go either way depending on the phase of the moon and the migration of Egrets this spring."

She had the strangest look on her face, her eyes were wide and wild, her hair was pointing in a million different directions. She also had a pillow on her lap that she would stroke every once in a while like it was a cat. Jasper was rubbing his hand over his face like he was trying to get a grip on the situation. Oookaaay. This must be part of that temporary shit that goes on. I let out a deep breath, thanking the stars that I was cool.

Suddenly Rosalie screamed from the top of the stairs--**"V A M P I R E !!!!"** and flew down the stairs completely naked and ran out the front door. I saw the bite marks on neck, her pale skin as she whizzed by. Suddenly, the ocean roar I heard in my head got loud as I panicked at the sound of her urgency.

"**AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! V A M P I R E !!!! **I screamed and ran after her, leaving Edward's shirt behind.

I heard Alice scream as I jumped off the porch _**"V A M P I R E**_** ??? WHERE?? NO ! STAY AWAY FROM ME !!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!" **I heard footfalls right behind me. I took a quick peek behind me and there was little Alice naked as the day she was born running behind me and catching up quick.

I followed Rosalie's...well, her scent...I could smell her and I knew somehow it was her. She had run deep into the woods, and was about two and a half miles in front of me. Suddenly I slowed down, I couldn't smell her anymore.

"Psssst." I heard her. Alice had caught up with me by then. "Psssst...Bella, Alice." She whispered. I looked up. There was Mrs. Rosalie Cullen standing on a tree limb about 200 feet off the forest floor.

I hesitated for a second then started climbing up the rough brown tree trunk. Shit, it was easy, like I had tree frog pads on my fingers and toes and no gravity at all. Cool. Fucking cool. The sounds and smells of our men running swiftly our way came up quick. I hastened my pace and Alice started climbing fast. We made it to where Rose was in no time. We looked at each other wide eyed and smiling, but didn't dare make a sound.

We watched as Edward, Jasper and Emmett slowed down underneath us and started to look around. Obviously they didn't smell us anymore. They looked to the left and to the right as we held our breath. Then, Emmett looked up right at us. Fuck. Before I even thought about it, I leapt out in a swan dive off the tree limb into the air. I turned myself about half way down and landed with pin point accuracy on top of Edward. I flattened him. He was totally shocked but by the time he could recover, I had taken off into the forest.

Behind me I heard Rose scream "BONZAI!!!" and Alice "GERONIMO!!!" followed by screams of terror from Jasper and Emmett.

"Bella! Wait up Bella! Fucking wait up will you??" Edward was quickly catching up to me.

And then, I smelled something wonderful from up in front of me. I ran up a tree to get a better view. There about 150 feet in a clearing up ahead, was a nice fat deer herd. I was suddenly thirsty beyond belief. Edward joined me in the tree. I said "Shhhhhh" quietly and pointed. A huge grin spread upon his lovely face and he cupped my ass check. Giving him a quick peck on the cheek and a return squeeze, I dropped silently to the forest floor and moved swiftly through the trees, Edward right behind me.

We easily caught up to the grazing animals. I had already drank 6 of them before I saw my girls with their husbands out of the corner of my eye drinking and throwing the carcasses in a pile. We left the bodies for the use of the other forest creatures.

"That was fucking amazing!" Alice exclaimed. Jasper came up behind her and snuggled.

"Who'd a thought I would be ripping the throat of a deer and enjoying it?" Rose chuckled. Emmett wrapped his arm around her waist and nuzzled her neck.

"Geez, Rose, I didn't know you shaved your cunio." I laughed.

"Emmie likes it that way, " She sniffed.

"Edwee likes a bit of fuzz, so I trim. " I said matter of factly.

"I have a runway." Alice cracked up and soon all of us girls were giggling.

"What about Emmie, is he smooth too?" I asked, curious for God knows what reason.

"Like a babies bottom!" Rose revealed to her delight, laughing uncontrollably.

"Edward trims around the base and nuts, it's nice...he's got very soft, light brown pubes, almost a brown blond."

"Jasper shaves his balls, but just trims around the base. His curls are strawberry blond" Alice had tears flowing she was cracking up so hard.

I'm not sure how the convo got started, but it was frikken funny and the three of us were totally losing it. I had to hold my stomach I was in pain from laughing so hard. Rose was laughing to hard, her voice left her and a small hissing took over.

The boys, however just stared in mute shock. They were beat red.

"Here, love, take this, time to go home." Edward laughed nervously. He peeled off his red t shirt and slipped it over my head.

Jasper and Emmett took off their shirts and gave them to my girls to wear for the run back home. Edward and I took off hand in hand, side by side, running together through the trees towards the Mansion.

When we got home, Edward and I went to Carlisle's room to check on Renee. I knocked on the door gently. Carlisle, blond, beautiful and refined was stark naked, dripping wet and holding a towel in front of his hips. He seemed happy to see us, though.

"Hi kids, everything go okay? You look good Bella. Did you feed?"

"Uh, ya. Um...how's Renee doing?" I said, trying my best to look casual and not at him.

"She's just fine." But the smile on his face told me that things were better than just fine. I giggled.

"Bella took off into the woods naked...well all the girls did, but we caught up to them and some deer, so we're cool." Edward added.

Carlisle laughed, "You did the same thing, Edward, I had a helluva time catching you."

Then a sopping wet towel hit Carlisle in the back of the head, spraying water all over him and us. Renee and Esme were giggling from somewhere behind him, "Come on Carlisle, we're waiting for you..." More female giggling.

Carlisle closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as water was running down his face. "Ladies, ladies, _please!" _He was giggling to himself.

Two sets of hands wrapped around his waist, grabbed the towel from in front of him and dragged him into the room, kicking the door closed. Sensual male growling amid female purring emanated from behind the door.

"Oh brother.." Edward and I moaned at the same time and when I peeked I saw Edward in the same position I was pinching the bridge of our noses.

**A/N: Wow! You guys had some widely varying opinions on the last chapter! Very cool. I love to hear your thoughts! Some did not like the idea of a polyamorous relationship at all, a couple of ya didn't like Carlisle being shared (I personally think he is man enough!). I wondered why some didn't think Renee's being happy for the first time in her life was important . Yet, the merry mutilation of Mike Newton (spit) and the gorgeously gruesome death times two of Jacob Black, and all of the knifings, dartings and/or bludgeoning of the usual Forks people was warmly welcomed! You guys are as sick and twisted as I am!! YAY! Review and tell me all about it!!!**

**A growing number of you sex fiends want a lemon and although I have certainly pushed the boundaries of the T rating, I just may do a separate lemon filled story with this wild and crazy BxE. (I did one in my Day After story...but that was in canon BxE lemony goodness.) I'm also toying with the idea of doing my BxE here in different circumstances...different times, different AU situations, I dunno. **

**Until we meet again...Love and Lemondrops...BSL**


	28. Chapter 28: Get Free

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**A/N: Hi you lovely Twilighters! Sorry I took so long to update...to make it up to you here is a long, long chapter and I beg your forgiveness and request you sheathe your pig stickers!..May I present to you:**

**Chapter Twenty-eight: Get Free**

Things went fast, fast, fast after that. Carlisle, Edward, Jasper and Emmett were experts at getting things done in the minimum amount of time. We were now fighting the clock to get out of town as soon as possible.

Alice had to sell her beloved MGB-it was just too impractical for the harsh conditions in Alaska. To make it up to her, Jazzy bought her a beautiful Porsche 911 Turbo in a rich metallic pearl yellow for a wedding present. This pleased her to no end.

Alas, my truck would not make the long trip either, so I ended up donating it to a local homeless shelter for women and children. I moped around after they came and got it. Edward could sense my irritation at having to do this and countered with a sacrifice of his own: He presented me with copies of the keys to the Shiny Silver Volvo and his prized Aston Martin. Curiously, the keys to his Harley Chopper were missing. So I'm thinking he was going to sell it before we left? Nah..not a chance, because I always believed he'd prefer to sell _me_ before he parted with his Harley. So, Mr. Cullen, my new husband, my mate, my immortal who spouts the sanctity of marriage subscribes to the ' what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine' kind of thing eh, Edwee? We'd have to see about that.

So, in the early morning, the guys decided to go into town and gas up the cars and get some supplies for the trip to Denali. Carlisle, Esme and Alice were finishing the packing up of the mansion. I met Renee at our house to pack up the few things we wanted to take with us.

"Umm, Mom?" I had something to ask, totally afraid that the answer would bring up too much information on a grand scale.

"Yes, dear?" She taped up a box and wrote 'Toys: Do Not Open' on it. Oh boy.

"About you and Esme and Carlisle?"

"Yes, what about us?" She looked up from her bubble wrapping to smile at me.

"How's that working out? You..uh...seem really happy."

"Oh Bella!" Renee exclaimed happily, her whole face lighting up, "Better than I could even imagine. He's a wonderful, wonderful man! So kind, so tender and sensitive and yet such a tiger in bed!"

"Ok. Ok..." I said, clearly uncomfortable with the answer and hoping she'd read the 'ew' look on my face and just drop it.But noooo.

"When Esme approached me with the idea I was like..woa...but then the three of us just clicked..well, you know Ez and I have always been close and of course there was that summer in high school when we were lovers..."

It was about this time that my brain went bye-bye. I just nodded and smiled but inside I was hoping a meteor was heading my way right now. Thank God my phone rang which was just as good as phrases like "incredible stamina," "amazing girth," and "talented tongue" filtered through and I was tempted to take out my Bowie and peel off my own skin.

I looked at the ID. "Hey Slyyt. What up bitch?"

"Hey Bella, I need to see you before you leave town, k?"

"Sure, I need to split-how about meet me at Starbucks in like 10?"

"Cool, see ya dick weed." She hung up.

I bid adieu to Renee who was saying something about leather restraints to someone on her cell. UGH! I fought against the pictures that crept into my mind. Instead, I pictured Edward, naked and splayed out and tethered to the bed posts. Sigh.

Thanks to my earlier aggravation and infallible intuition that I would need a quick getaway, I stole Edward's Chopper before I left the mansion. I kicked it alive and headed to town. The deep, growling engine vibrated my loins like a sexed up tuning fork. The wind in my hair and up my skirt was exhilerating and I felt free and then...

Oh shit! Edward's Volvo was parked across the street from Starbucks. He was leaning against the side of it, arms folded across his chest, watching me flying down the street, his lips stretched thin. I had no where to run, it was too late. He scowled at me, leaned up from the side of the car and waited for me to park it.

I sighed and slid the Chopper into the space behind his stupid car. Wow, look at his face. It was all controlled, like he was holding himself back from killing me. Fuck he was pissed!

"Bella.Cullen." He growled between his clenched teeth. He opened the car door and gestured for me to get in, all the while glaring at me.

"Get.In._Now_." His eyes were wild, he was panting and his lips were a tight line.

I gulped, steeled myself for a fight. Ok, so I stole his beloved Harley. Ok, so I was in a short black skirt that maybe, kinda blew up in the wind and you could see my red thong. I had no shoes, no helmet, barely a tank top on with no bra, my Bowie was in a holster strapped to my thigh, and I had no helmet let alone a motorcycle license. Ya, I guess I was quite a site. Totally non-Cullen like. So, a lecture was sure to ensue.

I got in the car. And then Edward attacked me.

"Do you have any idea how fucking turned on I am right now??" He panted in my ear as his lips traveled down my neck, licking and biting, his hands touching me roughly. "Seeing you on my Chopper, dressed like this...Bella...oh my God..." He cried into my neck as he clawed at my clothes. He was urgent, he was mad with lust.

"I'm going to take you right here, right now." He growled. He didn't care that we were in the middle of town square in broad daylight. He was an out of control animal and I loved it.

When he finally let me up for a breather, Edward followed me into Starbucks. He never stopped touching me: My hand, my arm, my hair, my cheek. I was so happy. He made me extaordinarily happy and I felt loved and protected and content at last with a kind of peace deep inside of my soul. This is what I've been searching for. The other half of me. The type of relationship that would allow me to be me, not losing myself.

Slyyt was waiting inside with 2 people in dark suits. Papers were spread out all over the table in neat piles. I recognized the short round woman as the music agent Slyyt intro'd me to, Mercy Falls, who greeted me warmly.

"Bella Cullen," Slyyt giggled as she intro'd me as did I, "This is my agent Pearl Sands."

We shook hands and I gestured to Edward, " Mercy, Pearl, this is my husband, Edward Cullen." Slyyt and I giggled again. It seemed ludicrous that I would have a real live breathing husband, but then I looked at the love on Edward's face and there was nothing more real to me than us.

Slyyt and I gave each other our back of the hand salute and sat down. The agents started talking their legal business and showing us their legal documents to make the selling and the buying of my song to Edward "All Around Me" all nice and legal. It looked like the offer was extremely generous and if the song does as well as they project, I shouldn't ..._we_ shouldn't have to worry about money for a long, long time. They offered a nice six figure for the rights to record the song plus a percentage of the royalties. And of course I would retain songwriter rights as well. My head was spinning as I sifted through the paperwork, until I reached the official CD label. The title had something more after it...it said:

**ALL AROUND ME (EDWARD'S SONG)**

**(MUSIC AND LYRICS WRITTEN BY BELLA M.CULLEN)**

**PERFORMED BY VAN HELSING**

I got goosebumps. I teared up and my face felt hot. I looked at Edward sitting beside me holding my hand quietly. A single tear slid down his face. He wiped his face with the back of his hand still attached to mine. I brought our hands up to my lips and kissed the tear.

"Will you excuse us for a sec?" I said, grabbed Edward's hand and closed us in the unisex bathroom. He set me up onto the counter and started kissing my neck as I panted like a dog in heat.

"Edward, we're rich." I breathed, hardly able to believe it

"You are, my love, and I am just your humble love slave." He chuckled into my neck.

"You can be my kept man," I giggled.

"Give me a command, my lady," He whispered into my cleavage.

"Take off my panties," I commanded, running my hands through his soft hair.

"Yes, my lady, " He said as he slid my skirt up to my waist.

"With your teeth," I added.

He growled, low and sexy, and dipped his head down.

A loud knock startled us. "Bella! Edward! Listen you two fuck hounds-put your goods away and get out here! Celebrate later!" She was cracking herself up now.

We both groaned at the same time and came back to the table. Slyyts boyfriend, with the lofty name of Wolfgang Dappledorty, had joined our little get together. The suits were ready with the paperwork for me to sign. I initialed and signed and initialed and signed and dated and initialed and signed for about 20 minutes straight. Then, the happy suits departed.

"Your music is going to be heard, Bella, I'm so fucking happy for you," Slyyt said with tears in her eyes.

I got major goosebumps. My teeth started chattering. I think I was having a minor emotional breakdown. Edward slid me onto his lap and laid his full length leather jacket over my lap. I snuggled into my love's chest, laying my head back onto his shoulder while I brought the coat up over my shoulders. I saw him give Wolf a quick wink, then started shifting under me. Slyyt and I sipped our frappaccinos quietly, eyeing our guys. Wolf whispered into Slyyt's ear and she nodded. He slid her onto his lap and draped her long coat over the two of them. Oh no, I knew what was coming next.

I glanced at Slyyt. There was no outward sign of movement but then her eyes widened, then closed slowly. Underneath my ass, I felt Edward's hands and then heard the distinct sound of his zipper.

"Well," I said a bit later as we were walking Slyyt to her car, "that's yet another place we're not welcome in anymore."

Slyyt and I hugged, thanked each other, cried and said goodbye.

I followed Edward back to the mansion, which took much longer than usual. Every so often he would look in his rear view mirror and pull us over. It was worse when I was in the lead. He couldn't go a half mile watching my ass straddle across the leather seat without stopping me for a quick hello. Geez and I thought I was a fuck hound! Hehe.

When we arrived, Carlisle, Esme and Renee were sitting around the kitchen table listening to a nice looking businessman type in a form fitting grey silk Armani suit. He was probably in his late 20's and was standing in front of them, occasionally passing folders out. He had unusual hair. It was jet black with natural caramel streaks in it, nicely coiffed. He was tall and athletically built. Whatever he was saying to them had the three of them spellbound. While he did address the three of them, it was mostly Renee he had eyes for. And she looked like she was eating it up with a big spoon. When Renee spotted me, she came over and dragged me and Edward into the kitchen.

"We've been waiting for you!" She said excitedly.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet Phil Dwyer. He's Carlisle's attorney from Seattle."

He took my hand and shook it. "I'm also his investment banker. I'm very glad to meet you Bella. Mercy Falls asked me to deliver your check to you personally."

Apparently, Phil was a Vampire with a special knack for picking out winning investments. He has been working with Carlisle for a century or so, helping him to amass a not so small fortune. But the big thing going on was the way the four 'adults' were looking at each other. I had a sneaking suspicion Phil was about to join our little family.

My girls came down the stairs whispering to each other. When they saw us, they giggled out "Hi Edward!" in unison. Something was up that's for damn sure.

"Ladies," Edward bowed politely.

"Can we borrow your wife for a bit?" Rose shamelessly flirted, batting her eyes and smiling shyly at Edward. Geez. Seeing Rose in action reminded me that we would be meeting the succubus sisters in Alaska. Edward laughed in return and I hoped that would be his reaction when he met up with Tanya and the rest.

Edward kissed my forhead and walked up the stairs. Damn! The only thing as sweet as watching Edward walk towards me was watching him walk away. The three of us saluted his cute hiney by wolf-whistling and clapping, to his great amusement.

"Wiggle while you walk, baby!" Alice called out.

"WooHoo Edward, show us that caboose!"

"That must be jelly cuz jam don't shake like that...oooh baby!" Rose whistled loud and long.

Edward answered our salute by dropping his drawers and mooning us.

"Get him!!" I yelled and we chased him up the stairs. He yelped and ran into the bedroom, triple locking the door.

We pulled ourselves off the floor and caught our breath from laughing so hard. Then we hopped down the stairs and out the front door.

"So...what up dick lickers?" I asked as we walked over to the Porsche.

"Well," Alice began, unlocking the doors and getting behind the wheel. "Since we are leaving for Alaska in the morning, we thought we needed to say a proper good-bye to Forks High."

"Agreed..." I said, "And just how are we going to bid a proper good-bye to the ol' hell hole?"

"Get in and we'll tell you," Rose said and slipped in the front seat. I got comfy in the back seat.

As we pulled out of the long driveway, we passed the moving van coming up the drive. The excitement gripped me hard as the reality hit that I was finally getting out of Forks. I was in the middle of a joy-gasm so I started singing our own lyrics to the beautiful song by Queen...

I've paid my WHORES

Time after time

I've done my sentence

But committed no crime

And bad mistakes

I've made a few

I've had my share of SPERM splashed in my face

But I've cum too!

The three of us were screaming in perfect three part harmony for the chorus:

We are SEX CHAMPIONS, my friends

And we'll keep on FUCKING til the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for WEREWOLVES

Cause we are the champions...of the wooooooorld!

By the time we pulled up to the school, we were laughing idiots..well, nothing new I spose.

"Ok, so what's the plan?"

Rose pulled out a small wicker box with a hinged lid on it and held it in the palm of her hand. It shifted a bit, like something was moving around inside.

"What the fuck is in there?" I asked, looking at them through narrowed eyes.

Alice started talking slowly and carefully, like she was afraid she was going to scare me. "Rose...well...we discovered this morning that...Rose has a special...um..._talent_."

"Talent? Rose...well, we all know she can raise an erection like a snake charmer, but what's in the box?"

Rose flipped the lip back with one finger. A thick, furry wolfie spider climbed out of it and up onto the lid.

"AAAHHH!!!" I screamed and flung myself back into the seat cushion. I hate spiders.

"Shhh...watch Bella, watch this." Rose whispered. The spider turned around and faced all 8 of its beady little black eyes to Rose.

"Go back in the box and shut the lid." She said to the hairy creature.

Silently, it slid back into the box. Then two black spider limbs came up and pulled the lid down over itself. My eyes were so wide, I thought they would pop out of their sockets. I stopped breathing.

"Wtf Rose!?!" I breathed out as soon as I could move.

"Isn't that something?" Rose smiled proudly. Alice giggled.

"How did you..how?" Was all I could get out.

"Well, this guy was crawling across the floor towards me and I just said 'No you don't! Go back under the dresser!' And it did."

Alice took over the story, "She came and got me to show me in her room. She called out for Bob to come out and, like a frikken mutated puppy, he did."

"Bob??"

"Ya," Rose nodded to the box, "His name is Bob."

"Ya and watch this!" Alice closed her eyes for a second and then said," See the cafeteria door? In 30 secs Mr. Greene is going to come out, trip over his own two feet, fall face first and spit out his fake teeth into the grass."

"OoooKaaaay..." I said and was just about to fly a witty comeback when the cafeteria door opened, Mr. Greene stepped out, took 3 steps, tripped over his shoe laces, faceplanted on the pavement and launched his choppers 5 feet into the wet grass.

My heart was beating so fast I had to put my head between my knees to breathe.

"OMG...OMG..." Was all I could say. And then "WOW ...that's some...jeez...AWEsome shit my women! FUCK!!"

"Ok, let's get busy," Rose said. She closed her eyes and then, "We better retreat to higher ground—NOW!"

The three of us quickly vacated the Porsche and dashed up a nearby tall tree. Sitting on a high limb we had a clear view of the paking lot, the school and surrounding streets. All was quiet and then from below I heard a quiet rustling from the forest floor. Beneath us a black substance oozed low on the ground making its way fastly across the parking lot towards the school.

"FUCKING HELL ROSE!!" Alice clapped her hands together once, her eyes wide.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!!" I squeaked out. The black substance was an army of spiders, roaches, beetles and who knows what in close formation, descending on the school at an alarming speed. "Rose? Are you doing this?? You are aren't you?? You are fucking doing this!!"

In less than one minute the bug battalion left the parking lot and disappeared into the cafeteria. As expected, screams, shouts, curses, furniture scraping and then WHOOSH the door flung open as kids and adults poured out shaking things off them. Then to our delight, they all started shedding their clothes as the tiny invaders got under their apparell. Kids and adults alike were running around willy nilly knocking into each other trying to get out of their clothes.

"Uh oh," Alice murmured, "Let's split."

As we leapt to the ground we heard the fire engine sirens careening around the corner. When they saw this probably horrendous looking scene as half naked people crawling with bugs where scattering around like cockroaches in a spotlight, they panicked. The Forks Volunteer Fire Department turned their hoses on the people, blasting away at the creatures and the bugs alike. HaHa.

From out of nowhere, a very wet and might-as-well-be naked Mr. Banner in sopping tighty whities stepped in front of the Porsche. I felt my coffee coming back up my throat. From the looks of 'things,' no wonder he was so uptight all the time. GAG!

"_SWAN_! I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN IT WAS YOU BEHIND THESE SHANANIGANS!! WAIT RIGHT HERE, I'M SENDING FOR THE POLICE." His face was positively purple and veiny. He was dialing his cell phone.

I stood up out of the moon roof and screamed for all I was worth-"FUCK _YOU_ MR BANNER YOU DICKLESS FUCK ASS!!" then I punctuated my words by flipping him the bird. That's when it happened.

When I thrust my arm up, middle digit extended, Mr. Banner took a flying leap backwards, as if the force of my flip off sent him reeling.

"Did you see _that_?" Rose, Alice and I screamed at the same time, blinking our eyes like we were not sure we saw that right.

"Oh my God, Bella! Do it again!" Alice shouted.

"Ok," I said shakily. Mr. Banner was just getting to his feet, brushing off the wet debris. I braced myself and then showed my bird in Mr. Banner's direction. Nothing happened

"No, no no..." Rose instructed. "You _flipped_ him the bird. You flipped your middle finger at him angrily and said 'fuck you!' That's what did it...Go ahead-go ahead-do it that way!"

"Here goes.." I flipped it hard and yelled the words and sure enough, he fell backwards.

"Now, try doing it faster and louder, see if that does anything," Alice laughed, her eyes wide.

Mr. Banner once again got to his feet looking really flustered and searching all around on the ground to see what he might have tripped on.

"Alright." I said casually trying to hide that I was totally freaked out.

I squeezed my eyes closed to concentrate, then let my bird fly.

Not only did he flip backwards, he did a complete 360 backflip and landed on his face.

"FUCK!" I heard Alice and Rose scream together. I opened my eyes in time to catch Mr. Banner's completely shocked and comprehending face as he put 2 and 2 together and got Bella.

"WHAT ARE YOU??" He screamed, scooching back on his ass away from us.

Oh.Shit. So much for being inconspicuous.

"What say we start our road trip a bit early, my ladies?" I croaked out, "FLOOR IT ALICE!!"

**A/N: Hi y'all! Did you miss me? HaHa! Sorry it took me this long to update, but Bella and Edward just were not ready to let me to end this story just yet. So the harder I tried to come up with an ending worthy of all you beautiful Twilighters, the more I couldn't write one. Ya know what I mean? Anywoo, this was a loooong chapter and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! **

**Review and let me know! My fingers want to dance for you! (oh that sounds like a sex line..hehe!)**

**As always...love to you...and lemondrops, too...until next time...BSL**


	29. Chapter 29: Sorry

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Twenty-nine: Sorry by Buckcherry :-(**

I'm sorry I'm bad

I'm sorry you're blue

I'm sorry 'bout all the things I said to you

And I know I can't take them back.

I love how you kiss,

I love all your sounds

And baby the way you make my world go 'round

And I just wanted to say

I'm sorry.

As Alice pushed her Porsche past 120, the trees became just a blur of greens and browns and grays. Totally blown away by our new found 'skills', our spirits were flying, the music was blasting "Closer to God" by Nine Inch Nails and the adrenaline was pumping. I called Edward to gloat about what I did and was tell him I was sorry he wasn't there to witness our extraordinary achievements.

He answered on the first ring and sounded cheery. "Where are you, darling? I have something big waiting for you." He growled low and sexy into the phone. Oh yes.

I got nervous. Suddenly I wasn't so sure he would be pleased. "I wish you could have been there, we were great! We definitely said a proper good-bye to the ol' shit hole."

Silence.

It seemed to drag on forever and then he said quietly, "Where are you now? Are you on your way home to me?"

"Not exactly...Um..honey? The girls and I had a little...thing...happen at the school."

"Oh? What kind of thing?" He asked curiously.

"Well, more like a small incident, I suppose you could call it...no big deal, though." I said trying to sound casual about the whole thing. Sweat broke out on the back of my neck as my intuition kicked into gear.

More silence.

"What kind of_ incident?" _He knew me too well. I could tell he was talking to me through clenched teeth.

"No big deal, Edward. I kind of discovered I have this thing I can do.." I explained about Alice and her apparent fucking outrageous precognition abilities, Rose and her fabulous command of all things crawly, the naked screaming scramble of people at Forks High and, talking more quickly, I spilled about the discovery of my hidden Vampire talent as inadvertently experienced by Mr. Banner which lead to our hasty exit.

"_**WHAT ?!?!?"**_ I had to hold the cell away from my ear as Edward pelted out a long string of expletives. "Bella," he sighed, attempting that voice he uses when he's trying very hard to be calm. I could picture him with his eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose,"Just..Just tell me...Where are you right now?"

"Well...we're on our way to Alaska as we speak."

More expletives, more yelling. Fuck me, I was beginning to see that this was a bit more serious than I originally thought.

"Geez Edward! Get a grip! I've been in tight spots before..." Edward cut me off just then trying to calm himself down enough to explain to me just what kind of hell I've brought down upon myself, the Cullens, our family.

"Fuck! When Emmett finds out he's going to flip out.." Edward mumbled but I was not sure he was talking to me.

I could hear a loud roar and the sound of breaking glass in the background. Oh boy.

I guessed

. that was Rose telling Emmett. I glanced over and Rose was holding her phone away from her ear.

"Well, at least Jasper's being sensible about it, " I said trying to make light of it all. Now two loud growls could be heard in the background along with more breaking glass.

Rose and I looked at Alice just as she tossed her Bluetooth earpiece out the window.

The three of us sighed together.

"Bella, " Edward was walking outside now, I could hear the sounds of nature and the sudden absence of Vampire growling. "Carlisle and Esme own a camping lodge in Quesnel, in British Columbia. It's got a population under 10,000 and you'll find plenty of mountain lions, grizzlies, deer, moose and caribou if you like. Stay away from the Spirit Bears, though. I want you to go there and just wait for us. It's well stocked, so you won't need anything. Do you hear me? Go to the cabin and DO NOT MOVE until I come get you. Do you understand? Tell me you get me."

"Ok Edward, I hear you...but I don't think..." He cut me off, talking to me like I was 5.

"That's right Bella, you don't think. This is a whole other situation now. You're in my world, the rules have changed. Get to the cabin and we'll try to get the situation from getting out of control from here. Whatever you do DO NOT COME TO FORKS. Are we clear on this?" He spit these words out. I never heard him talk to me like this. Ever.

"What situation is getting out of control?? Edward..." tears were coming. Stupid fucking tears, breaking me down. My voice quavered. The thought that I did something that displeased him fucked with me badly. This is worse than the time I hung his boxers from fishing lines out of the school windows. Or the time I Cheez-Whizzed his Volvo. Or when I wrote "Mr. Banner is my bitch" in red lipstick on his locker. He was pissed, but geez.

"Bella." His voice was tender and sweet, making my heart hurt. "I love you, my Angel. I absolutely cannot live without you and this separation is going to kill me. But, I will make it right and then I'll come get you. Keep your promises--stick to the plan. Everything will be fine...uh, eventually. Bye darling, I'll call you as soon as I can." and with that he hung up the phone.

Shit, this was a fine kettle of fish, as they say. The girls did not seem to be phased at all, so I relaxed, concluding that Edward was just going all drama queen on me. This was going to require an awful lot of make up canoodling when we got together. Oh yes.

We pulled up the long long road that lead to the Cullen Cabin. To say it was a little cottage out of the way was like saying Led Zeppelin was a little mediocre British band. Or that Jimmy Page could sure play guitar a little.

It was a totally modern architectural masterpiece along the lines of the Fallingwater house by Frank Lloyd Wright. There was even a stream running through the ground floor. Huge floor to ceiling windows, rough hewn oak walls.

Rose deactivated the extensive security systems with the codes Emmett gave her. The inside was nothing less than spectacular. Sparse Nordic furnishings on pristine light oak floors. Italian marble bathrooms, indoor pool and hot tub. Lush throw rugs everywhere. The art work both on the walls and free standing sculptures alone could have been in a museum. The fireplace in the living room was big enough to stand in.

While Alice and Rose checked out the rest of the house, I went to the woodshed and brought in a shitload of wood and kindling to get a roaring blaze going. I dragged a nice fluffy Persian rug over before the fire and some big comfy pillows.

In the kitchen pantry, Rose found a couple bottles of high end Russian Vodka and some fine crystal shot glasses. Although we were aware from experience with the guys that getting sloppy drunk wasn't going to happen, we knew that we could get very relaxed and if we were lucky, a nice three part harmony would ensue.

To get things started, we toasted to everyone and everything we could think of including hot Vampire sex, our talented bad ass-ness, and more hot Vampire sex. By the time we were done with the second bottle, yup, we broke out into Papa Roach's Scars and by the time we sang 'Forever' we were all in tears. Shit, we are such saps.

A couple hours later, Alice went to read some architectural books in the library, Rose attacked the huge plasma screen tv in the den and I went outside to practice my 'skills'. I took the empty Vodka and beer bottles and some cans out to the backyard, lining them up on a stump.

I know what damage I can do with the bird flipping, but I wonder...

I stuck my index finger up in front of me and twirled it around around. The bottles started twirling around. When I stopped, they stopped. Far out!

Alice wandered out just then with a look of deep concentration on her face.

"Whatcha doing, Al?" I asked, rubbing some chap stick over my lips.

_("I'm concentrating on Jazz. I'm not sure how these work, these visions I have. It seems that they are connected to what I'm doing or thinking about, but I'm not sure how to focus in on something I want to know about. I didn't particularly want to know that Mr. Green was going to faceplant on the ground at the school, but I was thinking about the bugs going through the door and it came to me. So, I'm thinking about Jazz right now and seeing if I can see what he's going to do.")_

"Are you having any luck with that? Can you see what Jazz is going to do?" I touched my lips, they felt tingly, numb.

_("What the holy fuck? How did she know that?")_

Alice stared at me, her face was a combination of shock and horror.

"You just told me, Alice. What the fuck's wrong with you??"

"AAAAHHHH!" Alice screamed and started running around in circles.

Rose flew out the back door, running flat out towards us, "What's wrong? What happened? Alice?? What the fuck are you doing??"

I rubbed my tingly lips and looked at the chap stick. Is this medicated?

"She—she---" Alice stammered, pointing at me, "You—you--"("_read my thoughts_!!")

"I did not read your thoughts, Alice...you spoke to me." I put my hands on my hips.

"You did what?" Rose's eyes were wide, but she had a big grin on her face, "that's sooooo cool! Read mine! Read mine!"

I got nothing. I stared at Rose, trying to concentrate. Then I put 2 fingers on my lips in thought.

("_Shit, if she can read minds, we 're like gonna be superheros or some shit..hm..'BugBoobs'...no...'SpiderFuckWoman'...oh shit no.")_

"SpiderFuckWoman, Rose? Oh _please." _I laughed. They both just stared at me. "Coool...Rose... think of something, I think I know how I have to do it."

Nothing. "Are you thinking of something Rose? Try again." I touched my lips with my index and middle finger, lightly, like I was going to blow a kiss or something.

("_I wonder if she sees pictures too..This is going to be awkward if she sees that Emmett sometimes wears my panties while we're doing it")._

"No, I don't see pictures, but... ew...Rose! Couldn't you have thought about anything else? And I hope to God it's not the pink and black zebra striped LaPerla ones I gave you for Christmas."

"Oh frik!" Alice and Rose said in unison.

"How far do you think your range is?" Alice narrowed her eyes and looked at me.

"Like, ok...I should try to hear Edward's thoughts? Is that what you mean?"

Geez, I had to think about that. That would be very intrusive. I mean, what if I really could? Was it right to do this? Oh what the fuck, it was probably just a local thing.

So I pictured Edward...not naked...not naked...damn...no! Not naked...and when I got myself under control, I pictured my love and touched my lips.

("Scusilo, avete de voli a Firenze o Pisa questa sera? Appena possibile? What the fuck?") and then the connection...kind of stopped.

I heard the beautiful velvet voice of my Edward...but what language was he thinking?

I rubbed my eyes, my face and then pulled at my earlobe...what the fuck? Seems to be the question of the day.

"That sounds like Italian!" Alice called out.

The shock wave flew between the three of us as it dawned on us all at once that she could hear my thoughts.

"Rose, did you hear my thoughts?"

"No, no. Not at all."

"Interesting. I touched my ear, that seems to be when you responded...hm.." I touched my ear again and looked at Alice.

"Fuck you, Bella, I do not have pictures of Jasper's mangina!" Alice laughed.

Rose was sitting at the picnic table. It looked like she had called a meeting with a group of lady bugs. Oh geez.

"Ok.." I had to laugh, "Let me go off and see if I can hear anything else."

I had no luck. It's like the small door between Edward and I had slammed shut. My heart hurt, my arms ached to hold him. Why would he be thinking in Italian?

I sat by the stream and thought about what was happening. I mean really thought for once about what was happening. I never considered consequences. I just did what my gut told me. So why should it bother me now? Why was I questioning my actions? Did I go too far this time? What did this all mean? And why was Edward thinking in Italian and why did he think 'what the fuck?' just as the door between us slammed shut?

All of sudden Rose came through the woods with a big smile on her face. "Bella! Come see what I did! Come on..."

She took my hand and dragged me back to the house, giggling all the way. On the picnic table Rose had spelled out her name in lady bugs. Oh man! Surrounding the lady bugs, crickets formed a ring, walking in a circle around the Rose lady bugs.

"I just _asked_ them to do it!" Rose clapped like a kid on Christmas.

"Oh my God Rose!" I laughed.

"Wait! Watch this!" Rose's eyes were glowing with delight. She simply said "Plan E."

The crickets hopped around for a second and spelled out 'Emmett' in a semi-circle above the 'Rose' lady bugs.

I buried my face in my hands, laughing til I couldn't breathe.

Alice walked around towards us, a grim look on her face. "Girls. I just talked to Mom. She and Renee are already on a flight on the way to Alaska and oh surprise, surprise...That Phil Dwyer bank dude is with them."

"So where are our husbands?" Rose demanded.

"Well, she said Carlisle and the guys were finishing things up, taking care of some supposed last minute errands and would join us tonite. But, get this..They're not answering their cells, either."

"What about the Italian stuff?" I asked anxiously, hoping for a clue.

Alice shook her head, "I asked her if there would be some reason Edward would need to be speaking Italian. She had no idea what it could mean."

"So, whatever they're doing, they're keeping it from them, too." Rose added thoughtfully.

"So you think they're doing something that they feel they have to keep secret from all of us?"

"Damn Cullens." "Fucking men." "Gotta love 'em." Sighs all around.

As the day dragged on into night with still no word from the guys, my mood slipped into a dark pit. My girls were still optimistic, keeping busy doing this and that. But me? I knew I had really fucked up this time. I got up and paced. Then I sat down for a half a minute. Then I started pacing again. I stopped and it dawned on me. Staring into the fire, I started shaking, tears stinging my eyes.

"Bella?" Alice looked up from her book and saw the look of despair on my face.

"Alice," my voice was no more than a choked whisper, "Edward was really pissed at me. I mean really _really _pissed at me for expressing my talent in public."

She came and sat next to me, smiling. "So was Jazz, but he told me he loved me in the end before we hung up."

"But," I squeaked as a tear slid down my cheek. I could barely say his name, "...Edward... told me that I was 'exposing the family to the outside world,' and he said things like, 'forbidden by Vampire law,' and that there would be 'serious consequences for my thoughtlessness."

Rose came over and sat next to me on the other side, "Look Bella, Emm was really p.o.'d at me too, but you know them. They'll get over it and as soon as Edward sees you, he'll be up your skirt within 5 seconds, I guarantee it."

"_**NO!! **__**YOU DON'T GET IT!**_" I immediately interrupted their Pollyanna like happy thoughts. I stood up quickly, abruptly shaking off their comforting hold on me. I was clearly losing whatever self control I had managed to hang on to. "He's NOT coming for me! Don't you see that?? I BLEW IT AND I BLEW IT _BAD_!"

I took off running as fast as I could into the surrounding forest. Tears whipped off my face as my speed accelerated. With every footfall my heart pounded out, 'Edward!...Edward!'

**A/N: Hi y'all! Wow, this was a tough chapter to write, but as a great writer once said, "The road to love is like Edward's man parts..long and bumpy." Na, I just made that up! Anyways, thanks to all of you lovely, lovely Twilighters for your very encouraging reviews and pms! You rock me like a hurricane (vintage Scorpions! Ya baby)!**

**Take care...and I wish lots of love and lemondrops for every one of you...BSL**

**P.S. And oh ya, this story's not done yet...unless you think it's beginning to suck? (and not in a good way—Edward told me to add that) ;-0 **


	30. Chapter 30:What I've Done: Edward's POV

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**Chapter Thirty: What I've Done-Edward's POV**

**A/N: Hey Twilighters! Well, we're going to mix things up a bit and see what's happening in the sexy mind of the beautiful Edward Cullen. Strap yourselves in and lose the panties for the ride of your life! Hehe!**

"_Fuck_ Edward!" Emmett's angry, red, face was seriously up in mine and was about to get punched in his. And so help me Carlisle, if he spits on me I'm gonna clock him. "They've really fucked up and now what the fucking fuck are we gonna fucking do??"

As he screeched the last word, I watched in slow motion as a little spitwad left his mouth, did a graceful arc and landed on my chin. That was _it._

My right fist came around and struck his left cheek so hard, he spun around and hit the wall. He sprung into attack mode, but before he could leap on me, Jasper blindsided him and together we pinned Emmett to the floor.

"Brothers!" Jasper growled, straining to hold our He-Man brother," We need to focus on the solution here!"

"Always the peacemaker, eh, Jasper?" Emmett grunted as we let him up.

"You _know_ how this is going to play out," Jasper continued, "Public displays are not only frowned upon, they are punishable by death."

My heart sunk as I became awash with anguish. I sank to my knees. "Bella, " I moaned loudly, "I swore on my oath to protect her. I've failed in every possible way." I covered my face with my hands.

"Now's not the time to go all emo on us, EDWEE," Emmett laughed darkly, "Fuck! Man up and stop being such a pussy!"

The blackguard! He didn't see me coming. I leapt at his throat so fast, yanking him into a vice-like head lock and before his next breath I was pounding the shit out of his face. It felt real good.

Jasper just sat back and shook his head as Emmett and I rolled around on the floor exchanging fists and curses.

A pounding at the front door immediately broke us out of our insanity.

Stuck into the ground in front of the porch was a fish on a six foot pig pole. Even though it had a stake through its' eyes, it was still flopping around. Ew. We all looked at each other in horror and said in unison, "The Volturi."

Sure enough it was the Volturi's calling card that meant impending death. And because it was stuck through the eyes, it meant a female was the target. One fish. One target. Bella.

I took a deep breath and got on the phone to my Dad, who was in Victoria's Secret at the mall for some reason. After apprising him of the situation, he put me on hold while he called his old buddy Aro in Volterra. When he came back on the line, he told me Aro's assistant, Gianna, said that they were all in a meeting til 10 tonite.

"That gives me plenty of time to fly out there and head off whatever they are planning. The death fish obviously was left by a human minion of theirs." Carlisle sounded confident that the outcome would be positive.

"Probably the same fucker who told them about the girls..." I was daydreaming of the thousand different ways I would cut up the piece of shit who snitched on the girls to the Volturi when Carlisle broke me out of it.

"Listen, my Son, " Carlisle's voice was calm and tender, " I don't know what the outcome of the meeting in Volterra will be. But I will do what's necessary to keep you all safe. I need you to be the man while I'm gone, you know, be in charge and keep your brothers from doing anything stupid."

Oops, too late.

"Where are they now? Where are the girls?"

"They're at your house in Quesnel."

"Good. Very good, Edward. Why don't you and the boys join them. I'll meet you there when I get back and we can all go to Alaska from there."

Thinking about my last conversation with Bella, I suddenly felt ashamed at my over reaction to the situation and how abysmally I treated the woman I would happily watch clipping her toenails for the rest of my existence and be content.

"Edward...?"

"Dad...I..." I choked up knowing that I probably hurt Bella. How could I have been so stupid? I smacked myself on the head. Ow.

"What did you do Edward." Carlisle's voice was flat and calm as usual, but knowing me as well as he does I'm sure he was braced for an onslaught of stupidity.

"I wasn't particularly...nice...when she told me what happened at the school. She's probably not going to talk to me."

"You think?" I hated when Carlisle was sarcastic. "I hope she wails the holy fuck out of you, boy!" I think he was serious about that last part.

"Dad?"

"Edward Anthony Cullen. She is without a shred of doubt the best thing that has ever happened to you! If you don't crawl back to her on your hands and knees, beg her to forgive you and offer to be her slave for the rest of your existence, then you are no son of mine!"

"You think I don't know that ?? Geez dad!"

"Your temper, your smart-ass mouth and your all over I don't give a shit attitude have gotten you into trouble so many times...ACK!" Then he started to cuss me out in Italian: "Voi poca merda! Madre del dio! Che cosa sono io che vado fare con lui?" _(You little shit! Mother of God! What am I going to do with him?) ..._"Well, hopefully she hasn't done anything stupid...stupider...more stupid...fuck! (sigh) Ok, ok." He was trying to calm himself. "It'll work out. Bella is a smart girl and I know you'll do the right thing Edward."

"Don't worry, Dad. Bella and I do our best talking with our clothes off." Ya baby, I was getting zipper burn just thinking about it.

"EDWARD!! YOUR COCK IS NOT GOING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM THIS TIME! I'm talking serious making it up to her here. Begging. On your knees—clothes on—do you read me ?"

"Ok Dad..." He was probably right but that did not make my dick happy. "Oh hey, I made a reservation to Florence right after I talked to Bella in case I needed to head over there." I gave him the flight information which reminded me, "Um..Dad...?"

"Yes, my son?"

"While I was on the phone with Air Italia, I had the funniest feeling that Bella was in my brain."

Silence. "Are you saying..."

"Yes, I think she actually heard my thoughts."

"What did she hear and what did you do?" Frik, he was seriously serious.

"Well, I said, 'Scusilo, avete de voli a Firenze o Pisa questa sera? Appena possibile?'"

"Excuse me, when is the next flight to Florence or Pisa? As soon as possible?" He translated "...Ok, what else?"

"Well, I felt a tug at my thoughts. I said something like 'what the fuck?' and closed off my thoughts immediately. I didn't want to freak her out any more."

"That's good, Son. Now have you tried to hear her thoughts?"

"Yes, and I still can't hear hers. And she doesn't know about my little...talent."

"Ok. You know, our Bella is turning into a real surprise package, that one is," Carlisle laughed. "Ok, I'm at the airport. I'll call you when I land. Take care. I love you, Edward and give my love to the boys."

"Love you too, Dad. Be careful."

I flipped my phone shut, stuck it in my pocket and ran my hand through my hair, a couple times. Shit. I tried to fix things and ended up doing more harm. "Fuck me." I sighed. The front of my jeans twitched as if I was talking to it. "No, not you." I laughed to myself.

"What did Dad say?" Jasper crossed the room. He was jumpy. Probably missing his 10 am feeding from Alice's loins.

"He said the zoo called and they want the two of you back."

"Ha.Ha." Jasper crossed his arms over his chest. Should have crossed his hands over his crotch. Shit, he's got a perpetual hard on these days. Ya, ya said the Bowie to the pig sticker. A little whine came out of my mouth before I could stop it...I'll never look at a knife again without thinking of her.

"I'm gonna kill you." Emmett glared and cracked his knuckles. Shit, he was throwing a trouser shadow too. We'd better get out of here and get to our wives soon before we kill each other in frustration.

I filled them in on the conversation with Carlisle as they nodded like frikken bobble heads. I threw the Volvo keys at Jasper and we all headed for the garage.

"Let's go!" I called to my brothers. Jasper followed behind me in my V, Emmett followed Jasper in his Jeep. I kicked started the chopper and took the lead.

As the scenery whizzed past at 110 mph, I prayed that Bella would forgive me for being such as asshat. She is my mate and my match in every sense of the word and to think I had failed her-it was tearing me apart. Shit, I'm such a tool. My only course of action left to me now involved a lot of nudity and begging. How did I let it get this far? I remember that day in August...

I knew two things from the moment I met her. One, that she was going to be a royal pain in my ass and Two, that if I didn't have her as my own, there was no point in living.

My brothers and I walked into the boringly ordinary cafeteria of the very unremarkable Forks High to start our mundane Junior year. Well, on the upside, we would own this place by the end of lunch. Girls seemed to come in two flavors: Cheap floozies or future fish wives. And the boys were no different: Brain dead jocks and future prison bend overs.

In the other schools we'd been kicked out of, no one dared to get up in our grille. We just seemed to exude that "fuck with me and die" kind of aura. So, when we sat at the furthest most table so we wouldn't have to mix with the rest of the assfucks, we were sure we would be left alone. That's when they strolled in. Strolled was not the word. They took one look at us and I swear I could see smoke escaping from my brothers'' ears. They looked like no one else in the school. The two of them, the long, leggy blond and the short, dangerous looking vixen were clearly pissed off at us for who the fuck cares why.

And then my world stopped. A wild eyed, well-armed temptress with flowing chocolate-brown hair and a body that called out for mine nearly bit my head off as a way of introducing herself. She was dressed all in black, a kind of a goth/ sex kitten / dominatrix air about her that I wanted to breathe in like my life depended on it.

And then she did the most erotic thing I've ever seen. To make a point, she carved the girls names in the table we were sitting at and I swear I wanted her to take that knife and carve her name on my dick right there and then. Metaphorically speaking, naturally. I wanted her to do that with her teeth.

"Hey Edward..." Emmett tried to get my attention, "That blond babe was fucking beautiful, shit I bet she's tight. Speaking of, hey Jasper! Is that a Glok in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

"Fuck you, Emmett!" Emmett ducked in time to avoid getting Frisbeed by a flying lunch tray, but the Vile Mike Newton (spit) was not fast enough. His hair got thoroughly mashed potatoed.

Everytime I saw her from that moment forward, the sexual tension between us got thicker, as did my Johnson. She was thoroughly annoyed with me, so I took every opportunity to rub it in. Because unbeknownst to my sweet loveat the time, I was a male Vampire and one of my many talents is that I can smell the subtle hormonal chemical changes that her body emits when they are experiencing an emotion. So, yes, while her beautiful, full, pouty lips were telling me to fuck off, the scent of her arousal was telling me to fuck her.

"_Edward,_" Jasper's voice calling to me in my thoughts interrupted me just in time. Between the thoughts about my Bella's sex and the vibration of the Harley on my loins I was throwing wood and dangerously on the verge of doing something obscene on the highway like nobody's business.

"_Edward, I've spoken to Alice. They're cool..except...well, Bella took off a couple of hours ago into the woods without her cell. She said something like she doesn't think you're coming for her or some shit. Geez, what the fuck did you say to her, man?"_

Shit! I told her to stay put. Fuck me! Can that woman never do what I tell her to do ?? Oooo, when I see her, her clothes are history! I'm going to make her pay for this..oh ya, I'm going to torture every inch of her with my tongue. Then I'm going to bend her over and..

"_EDWARD!" _Emmett screamed in his thoughts at me, _"Stop letting your dinky donk drive, man, you're all over the road! Hahaha!"_

Ya, he was right, but I'm still gonna pop him one in the nutsack once we stop.

When we finally pulled up into the garage at the house in Quesnel, Alice and Rosalie threw the doors wide open and ran into their husband's waiting arms. Bella was no where to be seen. And my arms ached to hold her. It had been hours and hours since she ran off because of me.

I immediately took off running into the forest. Finding Bella's trail was ridiculously easy. Just for me, her freesia scent was saying my name, calling me to her. I quickened my pace deeper into the trees. I came to the small clearing not far from the house and looked around. This is where the scent trail was the strongest. She was here I knew it. Her sweet scent filled my head in a dizzying dance, making every cell in my body stand at attention.

"Bella?" I called softly.

No answer.

"Bella, my love?" I said a little louder.

"Edward?" I heard her...but curiously her voice was coming from the forest floor. Oh fuck! Was she trapped in a hole?? Was she hurt and unable to move?? I looked around frantically. Then I dropped to my hands and knees feeling around the leafy matter calling her name.

Behind me I heard a rustling in the leaves. I spun around quickly. Bella was sitting up from a huge leaf pile, shaking the debris off of her. Even covered in leaves and twigs, she was the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.

"Trying to blend in?" I said smugly.

"Something like that, yes." She replied dryly.

I pounced on her in a flash, rolling us in the leaves, kissing any part of her flesh I could find with my lips. Spitting out a mouth full of leaves and small twigs, I stood us up and started brushing the remnants of the forest off her clothes. Brushing turned to rubbing. Rubbing turned to ripping and soon we were both naked, our clothes strewn over the leaves like blankets as we said our proper hellos. Several times.

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I certainly enjoyed writing it! Let me tell you how frikken happy I am over 1000 reviews-WOO FRIKKEN HOO!! You lovely, lovely Twighlighters! Thanks for hanging in there with me! See you soonly!**

**Take care...Love and Lemondrops...BSL**


	31. Chapter 31: Inside The Fire

**Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?**

**A/N: Hi to all you lovely lovely Twilighters! You guys have made the telling of this story a wicked awesome experience! Alas just as a hard man is good to find...all good things must cum...to an end, that is..and here it is...with my heart bursting with love to all of you...see you all at The Movie and don't forget to expectorate when the Vile Mike Newton is on screen!**

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight and the fabulously amazing people contained within that world all belong to our Queen Stephenie Meyer. This incredibly insane story is mine, that's right I lay claim to all of this loonisity. Mine mine mine!! Muahahahahahaha. The song Rose is screeching is "Bodiez" by Drowning Pool. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 31: Inside The Fire**

As we approached the house, I heard the sounds of live, loud rock music wafting through the trees. A piercing electric guitar cut through the pines, madness on drums and a deep, frantic bass rhythm...and oh yes..Rose-definitely Rose was screeching

**LET **THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR ! !

LET **THE** BODIES HIT THE FLOOR ! !

LET THE **BODIES** HIT THE FLOOR ! !

LET THE BODIES **HIT THE FLOOR** ! !

an old song Alice and I wrote back at Forks Junior High. Running now to the back door, I threw it open and to my absolute delight, my girls and their husbands were furiously jamming on brand new equipment.

Edward caught me by the waist and whispered in my ear, "We brought along a few presents for our wives." Then nipped my earlobe.

Spotting a magnificent Gibson Les Paul Sunburst sitting alone in a stand. I grabbed it, plugged it into the amp stack. Ohhh, the sensual musical sensations coming out of it was pure sex. No wonder Jimmy Page always had a hard on when he played.

Looking around the room I was in heaven. Little Alice was dwarfed by the beautiful neon pink and black drum kit with our groups logo and Royally Screwed emblazoned all over it. Rose was gripping a shiny Shure wireless mic like it was Emmett's dick and screaming in pure joy. Jazz was laying out a pulsating bass line that was rattling the fine china in the glass hutch. Emmett was Slash shredding personified. And Edward, my beautiful Edward sat his gorgeous ass at the keyboard bank and OMG his fingers were flying so fast i could barely follow him. He wove in and out of the melody to perfection.

I grabbed the Sunburst and started wailing. Emmett and I began throwing down like we were in a heated knife fight. Jab-slice-shred-bob-weave-attack-duck-attack,attack,attack!

At the end of the session, after drum, bass, keyboard and guitars solos that melted my brain, Edward and I put down the goods and raced up to the shower.

Back in the bedroom, Edward checked his cell when we got out of the shower. Well, not directly from the shower. I mean, we had to dry each other off, right? Ok, so an hour after the shower, Edward checked his cell.

"Carlisle called seventeen times_ -SHIT _!!"

He quickly called his Dad while I went to look in the closet. Since I really had nothing in the way of actual clothes here, I put on a couple of Carlisle's things. I found a pair of green boxers and a black wife beater, some thick socks and a soft, Black Watch plaid flannel.

I walked past Edward who was sitting on the bed and I could feel his eyes watching me saunter by and then stop in front of the mirror to brush my hair. He stood up slowly, his towel dropping to the floor. It is then that I observed he was happy to see me. He started growling low and sexy, moving into his attack position when he suddenly straightened up. "Hi Dad," he cleared his throat but still said it in a gravelly voice.

He grabbed some jeans from the closet and gracefully put them on while balancing the phone on his shoulder. Edward stilled and listened intently for five minutes or so, his face a blank. I considered going into his thoughts to hear the conversation, but thought again and decided against the intrusion.

Then something twitched in his expression. He quickly moved to the huge wall expansed window, turning away from me. He looked out into the mountains, the setting sun throwing a myriad of colors against the sky and the snow capped peaks. I could feel the anxiety rush out of him. It was humid and thick and uncomfortable like trying to sleep during a too hot night in the middle of summer.

"Where are you now?" He finally spoke, his voice not giving the slightest hint. Then followed up with a 'yes,' 'uh-huh' and an 'I see.'

My own anxiety level went through the roof. If he didn't tell me what was happening soon, I was either going to run mad or pop him one or both. Either way, his pants were about to become history. I took two steps towards him when Alice burst into the room.

"They're coming ! They're coming !" She shouted joyfully, grabbing my hands.

"What?? Who??"

Her eyes were wide saucers, the look of vindication and horror both emanating from them at once. Jasper came in behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"The Volturi!" She was hopping up and down, "I saw them Bella! I fucking saw them in my head!"

Now I was jumping up and down excitedly with her.

"Oh my fucking God! Edward did you hear ..." I turned to my love only to find him and Jasper staring at each other in silence.

Oh no, he was not keeping secrets from me! It was then that I decided to peek into his thoughts.

"_Jesus Jasper! What the fuck? Are these visions for real? Did you know she could do that??" _He had whispered low into his ear.

"_Oh fucking hell no, Edward, she didn't tell me about this! I mean, she was seeing little bits here and there, nothing important really, but this?...no I had no idea how extensive her visions were. Um...Edward? What's doing with Bella?"_

And then, in a typically Edward expression of exasperated thought, _"Bella..."_

I looked up at Edward who was glaring down at me, his lips a thin line, one eyebrow cocked. I smiled a toothy grin.

"_Yes, my love?" _I thought back with a very smug smile on my face.

"Jasper," Edward said not looking away from me, "It would seem that our wives are just full of surprises these days, wouldn't you say?"

"Yes, Edward, " he said, nuzzling into Alice's neck, "I would say our wives are turning into quite spectacular vampires."

"_Bella?" _Edward gently called to me in my thoughts. He was towering over me, staring into my eyes. His beautiful crooked smile all afire. I could actually feel his hunger for me growing in him.

"_I have never been so turned on in my entire life. To have you in my head while I am in you? OH.MY.GOD."_

"_More turned on than on the motorcyle?" _I teased back.

"_OH MY GOD! BELLA. NOW."_

To my utter delight, he grabbed me, threw me onto the bed roughly and launched himself on top of me. We started clawing at each other's clothes until...

"AHEM!" Oops. Rose and Emmett joined Alice and Jasper and were very amused at our public display of horniness.

"Geez you fuckhounds! Can you at least wait until we're done talking??" Jasper laughed.

"Did you talk to Dad?" Emmett was giggling as I turned away to put my boobs back in my bra. I would so have to get him later for that.

"Dad was just informing me that, after waiting all night in that God-forsaken castle, Aro, Marcus and Caius were not even in Italy. He left without seeing them. At least they let him go, so that is encouraging news. So, he's on a plane to join his wives and his...Phil...whatever." Edward ran a hand through his hair as did Emmett and jasper at the same time.

"_Oh fuck-the Volturi are on their way. Remember? Alice's vision?"_

"Alice-do you see anything else about the Volturi coming?" Edward asked anxiously.

We all turned to stare at Alice. Jasper sat down on a chair and pulled Alice onto his lap. She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned back against his chest. We waited for about 30 minutes in silence, each couple holding onto each other.

"Nothing." Alice finally opened her eyes and sighed. Then she stood up abruptly. "There's someone coming to the door. Here. Now."

"Who is it darling?" Jasper put a hand on her shoulder.

"No, it couldn't be...what would _he_ be doing here?" Alice asked, totally baffled.

I slipped into her mind, experiencing her thoughts.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??" Edward and I yelled at the same time.

"WHAT??" Emmett, Rose and Jasper yelled back.

Before we could answer, there was a loud hard knock on the front door.

**FINI**

**Would anyone care to venture a guess as to whom it was at the front door?**

**Hint 1:It's the same Volturi Minion guy who planted the fish head warning back in Forks.**

**Hint 2: Perhaps the only person left alive that Bella fucked with.**

**A/N: Woohoo! Thirty-one insane chapters! 1,064 lovely reviews! 76,637 freakin' hits! YOU GUYS ARE WICKED TWISTED AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT!! Thanks for hanging in there with me and kicking ass with Bella and forgiving me for resurrecting Jake a couple times only to kill him again! For spitting at the name of the Vile One (tooey!) Hey, speaking of, I came home the other day and a bunch of Teen Twilighters were standing in a circle calling out the name of Mike Newton (blllthp!) and spitting! I shit ye not! The power of the written word in the hands of the mighty Twilighters! We are a force to be reckoned with! YAYAYA! **

**See you next story!**

**Love and Lemondrops to all!...BloodsuckingLeech**


	32. YIPPEE! AUTHOR'S NOTE!

**Author's Note:**

Hello all you lovely, lovely Twilighters! This is an update on what's been going on in my world. I haven't updated any of my stories for a long while because-(drumroll please!) I am writing a paranormal erotic romance book series! It's called "The Tales of the X Sanctus Animus and Their Journey Home."

This is the blurb from my web site:

It's a great story about 5 magnificent women and 5 hard-core men who have to overcome 2,000 centuries of failure by their ancestors to accomplish a small task: Assure the survival of their race, along with the fate of the Earth above and below the Oceans. It all begins with Emerson & Lily in the sleepy little town of Livermore, California in a hedonistic, women-only nightclub called The Naughty Beaver.

If you liked "Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys," "Kiss Me, Kill You," or my "The Day After," or even my lovely "I Love My Family," you're gonna love this series. It goes one step beyond the hotness of my fan fic.

See for yourself! There's story excerpts and a video about The Naughty Beaver!

www . xsanctusanimus . com

Love you all, and I promise a new chapter of Kiss Me, Kill You soon!

Love and lemondrops to you! BSL


	33. Chapter 33: Good News About WDGGLBB

**GOOD NEWS ABOUT-WHY DO GOOD GIRLS LIKE BAD BOYS!**

Because you guys are insatiable fuck beasts (you know you are, 'fess up!) I am going to add an epilogue soonly. I have been enjoying (very small word for a huge feeling I get)

your reviews so much, I just can't let the story go. So look for it in the near future!

I'm going to try and tie up loose ends, answer your questions, etc. and finish off the story finally!

Any questions that you have that I haven't answered in the story so far? Write me and let me know!

Love and lemondrops to all you guys!

BSL

Don't forget to check out my website: .com

(there's new snippets from the series!)


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